New Beginnings
by PsychologyGeek81
Summary: Erin Ulmer is new in the town of McKinley and about to start her first day at her new school. Worried about making friends since she's lonely, shy and unsure of who she is, the one friend she makes on her first day is another lonely soul who guides her onto a path of friendship, rebellion, identity, and becomes more to her than she'd ever expected. Ian&Erin fic. Erin pov.
1. Chapter 1

Thirteen year old Erin Ulmer groaned as the alarm clock on her nightstand began ringing loudly, letting out a sigh as she turned it off and dragged herself out of bed to get ready for her first day at her new school. Her family had moved to McKinley, Pennsylvania last month for her mother's new job. She'd been offered a promotion and uprooted them an hour away from the town in which Erin had grown up. Not that she minded much, her home town was boring and she didn't have any friends. But honestly, she wasn't expecting McKinley to be any different.

She pulled on a t shirt and jeans, the most plain, uncontroversial thing she could think to wear for her first day of eighth grade, not that anything she owned could be considered controversial in any way shape or form. She didn't even know if she liked the clothes she owned, if they captured who she was. Either way, she didn't want to make a big entrance at her new school. Erin was shy, something for which she'd been frequently bullied at her old school, and something she was at least hoping to get through her first day at the new one without.

After brushing her teeth and grabbing a light blue hoodie, she made her way downstairs with her school bag. Her parents, Richard and Karen Ulmer, were sat around the dining table eating toast when she wandered in.

"Are you ready for your first day honey?" asked her dad from behind a newspaper. He wasn't due to start at his new job until next week, which meant that for her first week of school Erin could at least avoid the hell of the school bus.

"I guess," she said unconvincingly, sitting down and grabbing a slice of toast from the rack in the middle of the table. She screwed up her nose at the thought of eating, first day anxiety filling her stomach.

"Oh honey," her mother began, in a patronising tone that would have made Erin roll her eyes if her mother's weren't aimed right at her. "Are you really wearing that?"

"What's wrong with it?" she replied meekly, almost expecting to be scolded for questioning her mother's statement at all.

"It's so." Her mother sighed. "Plain. It's your first day, your only chance to make a first impression. If you wear that nobody will even notice you're there."

_Good,_ Erin thought. She'd stopped trying to tell her mother things after the way she'd reacted to her being bullied. Her mother had told her that she was being too sensitive and needed to brush it off, which Erin thought was rich, considering her mom flew off the handle whenever something slipped just slightly outside of her control. She'd been ten when she realized her mother wasn't going to be who she needed, so she stopped trying to rely on her.

"It's a t shirt and jeans," she argued. "It's normal. Aren't you always telling me to make more of an effort with other kids?" her mother pursed her lips, clearly unimpressed with Erin's 'attitude'.

"Yes," she said, almost begrudgingly. "But you might look so normal that you'll just blend into the background." Erin resisted the urge to roll her eyes. _Either you want me to fit in, or stand out. Pick one, _she thought.

"Right, I have to go," said her mother, grabbing her briefcase from the floor and springing out of her chair. "I'll see you later." She headed for the hallway. "Have a good first day honey, make friends."

"I'll try," Erin called back as her mother left the house, relaxing slightly once she'd left. Between her two parents, Erin definitely preferred her dad. Her mother was a successful manager, who was always either too busy, or making constant small criticisms, of both Erin and her dad. Erin knew that her mother wanted her to be more like she was, but she just wasn't, and knew that trying to be was useless. It was just a shame that her mother couldn't see that. Her dad was much more down to earth but went away a lot for work, which as she got older Erin was beginning to think was deliberate, and she didn't blame him. They finished their breakfast in comfortable silence before he drove her to school, and actually asked her about her nerves before she went in.

Erin tried as best she could to swallow the anxiety that ate through her as she walked through the doors to her new middle school. They dissipated a little as she collected her class schedule and locker number from the office. She managed to locate the locker fine, unlocking it and shovelling her stuff in as quickly as possible to try and avoid the humiliation of being late. She was almost done, when a voice behind her caught her attention, making her turn around.

"Excuse me," the boy said. "You're standing in front of my locker." Erin turned around. The boy was a little shorter than most boys their age, with pale skin and black hair, wearing a loose black t shirt over a red long sleeved shirt. He pointed to the locker beneath hers. With an awkward smile she stepped out of his way.

"Sorry," she replied, clinging to the notebooks she had yet to place in her locker.

"You're new here, aren't you?" he asked as he unlocked his locker, not even turning around to look at Erin.

"Yeah," she admitted quietly. "How'd you know?"

"This town has one middle school," the boy replied, aggressively shoving a notebook into his locker that was reluctant to stay there. "And the last time we had a new kid was the sixth grade."

"Oh," said Erin, sounding disappointed. "So much for my plan of not getting noticed."

"And talking to me definitely won't improve your odds of that happening," the boy said, a humorous, sarcastic tone to his voice.

"Why not?"

"In case you hadn't noticed," the boy began as he got up off the floor. "I don't exactly blend in with the crowds here." He comically ran one arm down his side, motioning for Erin to examine his clothes in closer detail. She realized that his dark attire was far from coincidental, and even noticed chipped black polish on his nails. Erin smiled slightly. She'd never properly met a goth kid before. There were a few kids at her old middle school who wore a lot of black, but she'd never interacted with them. She figured though, that if there was anyone who wouldn't treat her weirdly for not being like the other kids, it would be someone who made a great deal of effort to separate themselves.

"I think that might be a sacrifice I'll have to make, since we're locker neighbours," she replied, which made the boy smile slightly. "I'm Erin, by the way. Erin Ulmer."

"Ian McKinley," he replied.

"Unfortunate coincidence?" asked Erin, remarking on the fact he shared a last name with the town.

"Not really," said Ian, grimacing slightly. "But that's a story for another time."

"Now I'm interested," Erin replied, shoving the last of her books in her locker before locking it.

"Trust me, it's not the story you're imagining," responded Ian, pulling his class schedule out of his pocket and examining it. "I'm in here for homeroom, what about you?"

"Me too," Erin replied, showing him her class schedule.

"We're in the same class first period too," Ian observed, humming as his eyes scanned the schedules. "Interesting. We have quite a few classes together."

"At least I'll have someone to show me where I'm going," Erin said, checking her watch. "Speaking of which, we need to head off or we're going to be late."

"As long as you're ready for all the looks you're going to get walking in with me," said Ian, sounding like he was kidding. "Which some may argue, is worse than turning up late."

"I'm used to staring," Erin replied, continuing the playful tone. "And besides, I'll finally have someone to complain about stupid classmates with, who actually gets why they're stupid." With that, they walked off to start their first day of eighth grade.


	2. Chapter 2

The day moved pretty quickly. Erin just about survived the awkwardness of being introduced as the new kid to class after class, and all the strange looks she got from walking into first period with the resident weird kid. She found Ian again at their lockers at the start of lunch, where they then sat and ate together. After she finished eating, Erin quietly flicked through the pages of the small sketchbook that she'd brought in her backpack, expecting to be alone at lunch. She was staring in frustration at an arch in one of her sketches when Ian's voice broke her concentration.

"So how come you moved here, of all places?" he asked her. She shut the book quickly and shoved it back in her backpack sheepishly, hoping that he hadn't seen anything in it. She prayed that her cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"Mom got a new job here," she explained matter of factly, hearing the strong lack of enthusiasm in her voice. As much as she disliked her old school, she hadn't initially wanted to move. Starting over somewhere new felt uncomfortable and terrifying, she'd have to present herself to an entirely new group of people, and no doubt expect the same treatment from them. Being teased for being the new kid on top of being the shy kid just seemed like a whole new layer of hell, and she'd wanted no part of it.

"Is McKinley Middle School any better than your last place?" he asked.

"Well it's already better in the fact that I actually have a friend here," Erin answered, folding her arms over her backpack and leaning on it. "And nobody has outright bullied me, yet."

"What'd they harass you for?"

"Being a redhead, being too quiet," she began to list, sighing at the stupidity of it all. Ian raised his eyebrows. "Complete with obligatory over exaggerated gasping every time I said anything."

"So stupid," said Ian.

"I know," Erin agreed. "What about you?"

"What, you mean aside from the obvious?" he responded jokingly, pointing towards himself before sighing slightly, preparing to give a serious answer. "I have the opposite problem, apparently I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, and also I've been the 'weird kid' since fifth grade."

"Is that when you started dressing like that?"

"No, that was in sixth grade," explained Ian. "My locker neighbour at the time, who's also my actual neighbour, converted me."

"Oh, so that's why you befriended me?" teased Erin. "To pass on the tradition." Ian laughed.

"Well at least I'm consistent."

"I think my mom would have a heart attack," said Erin, smiling as she tried to ignore how appealing pissing off her mother sounded.

"Is she not a fan of teenage rebellion?" asked Ian sarcastically.

"She's not really a fan of me doing anything she didn't approve of first," Erin replied, feeling anxiety crash in her chest as she regretted spilling the words out. Immediately she hoped that Ian would assume she meant it in that 'I have to hate my parents because it's cool' kid of way, and not in a 'my mom doesn't understand me at all, dismisses and ignores me, and I secretly wish my parents would get divorced so I could live with my dad full time sometimes' way.

"My mom didn't care," said Ian, a solemn tone creeping into his voice. Erin noticed him avert his eyes, placing them on the floor, and then his bag.

"What about your dad?" she asked.

"He died in a car accident when I was nine," Ian explained awkwardly. Erin felt heat rise in her cheeks. That's why he'd seemed uncomfortable, because he was hoping she wouldn't ask. She wanted the floor to swallow her. Before she could say she was sorry for his loss, he changed the subject.

They talked about music for a while, as Ian had quickly averted the topic away from his father by telling Erin that he'd let her listen to some of his music some time, so she could make her mind up about being, in his words, corrupted to the dark side. Not long after, it was time for their next class, so they went to grab stuff from their lockers, when the thing Erin had been dreading all day happened.

"Hey new kid," some guy called from a short way behind them. Erin closed her eyes in exasperation as she realized what was about to happen. Both she and Ian turned around. "Is the reason you're hanging out with that freak because you don't have a soul?" the kid's friends all laughed.

Erin rolled her eyes, feeling anger spread through her chest and face. She didn't want to let a comment so juvenile get to her, but she hadn't even been here a whole day yet. She'd wanted at least a day without anyone shouting comments at her. She bit her lip, fighting the urge to run away and release her anger in a locked bathroom stall like she usually did.

"Hey Kurt," called Ian aggressively from beside her. She turned to face him, startled by the sudden loudness of his voice. "Go back to third grade where that comment belongs. It's a miracle you passed, I'm sure they'll be grateful to have you back." He spoke with a smug confidence, finishing with a patronising smile that made the other boy swear at him.

"Oh, wow, I'm hurt," Ian fired back, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Why don't you fuck off until you can come back with original enough to be worth saying, although something tells me you don't have the brain cells to manage that." The boy glared at Ian, but his friends convinced him to leave. Erin let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Sorry about him, he's a dick," said Ian as he turned back to Erin, who was still shocked by Ian's retaliation.

"How do you that?" She asked, sounding almost nervous. "How do you just talk back to them like it's nothing?" She'd never been able to do it. Every time somebody had said something to her at her old school, she'd just wanted to burst into tears, filling with anger and embarrassment, so much that she could barely focus let alone respond to them. She didn't want to feel like that anymore.

"I taught myself not to care what they said," he answered, motioning for the two of them to start walking to their next class. "They're total idiots, what do they matter?"

"Can you teach me how?" asked Erin, immediately regretting how desperate it sounded. She needed his level of confidence, needed to care as little as he did. Ian seemed so sure of himself, and Erin didn't even really know who she was outside of who other people made her out to be or wanted her to be. She could feel that this friendship would be good for her.

"I'll try," Ian replied.

The rest of the day went fine, a few people even made the effort to introduce themselves to her without asking her any intrusive questions about her previous school or her current choice in companions. Relief flowed through Erin as soon as the final bell sounded, she took off out of her classroom and sped towards the door. She caught Ian briefly as she crossed the parking lot to find her dad's car, telling him that she'd see him tomorrow. When she got in the car, she felt pleased that she could tell her dad that her first day wasn't a total disaster, and have it not be a lie.


	3. Chapter 3

Erin settled in comfortably, and within a month she no longer felt like she stuck out as the new kid, because now she stuck out as the kid who hung out with Ian McKinley, which Erin didn't mind so much. Erin learned that Ian read a lot, nonfiction mostly, many of them books that were far more advanced than an eighth grader should be reading, which made him seem very smart. Not many of the other kids appreciated that, in fact most of them found it actively irritating, but she didn't. It meant that he helped her in classes when she struggled, and that she actually felt comfortable enough to ask someone for help, unlike before.

They were currently partnered on a science project, which meant they'd begun spending time together after school. The first time her parents had met him, her mother made her disapproval of the friendship apparent, especially since she now realized why her daughter was slowly draining bright colours from her wardrobe. Her parents knew that Erin only had one friend, which her mother had been disappointed in already, but after meeting Ian, she knew her mother approved even less, which filled her with a strange delight that she'd never really felt before.

It was Erin's turn to go over to Ian's house to work on the project, which she was rather excited about. It had been so long since she'd been over to a friend's house that she couldn't actually remember who's or when it was. The loneliness she'd accepted when she was at her old school felt so weird now. Ian had one other close friend, a ninth grader named Miranda Hawthorne who lived on his street. Erin was excited for the day she would inevitably meet her.

They arrived at Ian's house, which was grey-green with a porch on the left side of the building. Erin noticed a van on the driveway to her right, looking at it as she headed up the porch steps and into the house. The stairs were the first thing she saw when she came in, until she followed Ian through an archway on their left that lead to the family room.

"Kel, I'm home," shouted Ian as he threw his bag on the couch, before removing the loose jacket he'd gotten for his birthday last week and hadn't stopped wearing since.

"Hey kiddo," a male voice shouted from somewhere, probably the kitchen. The owner of the voice then emerged, a bag of potato chips in his hand. Erin knew that this was Ian's older brother Kellan, who was a junior in high school. Ian didn't really talk about his family, but he had mentioned Kellan quite a few times. She knew that he had another older brother in college, and that they weren't close, but that was almost the extent of information she had on his family.

"I assume you're Erin," said Kellan as he moved into the living area. "I'm Kellan."

"Hi Kellan," Erin replied quietly, offering a shy wave as she stood next to the couch, the familiar discomfort of being around a stranger settling in her chest. Kellan flopped into the armchair, opening the bag of chips loudly. Like Ian, Kellan also seemed short for his age, and had pale skin and dark hair, although Kellan's hair was longer and hung in his eyes. He slouched in the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Are you meeting your band mates tonight?" Ian asked Kellan.

"Yeah," he answered, shovelling chips in his mouth. "In like an hour. Did you need me for anything?"

"No," answered Ian, sitting down on the couch. "I just wanted to know if we could have the room to ourselves to work." Kellan nodded as he crunched the chips.

"Yeah sure," he said once he'd swallowed them. "I should probably do some studying myself, or else I'm never going to get accepted for pre-law."

"You want to be a lawyer?" asked Erin, who felt like a spare part standing next to the McKinley's couch. She was grateful for a segue to contribute to the conversation.

"Yup," Kellan answered, popping the P. "Prosecuting attorney." He straightened up in the armchair, knocking the bag of chips between his leg and the arm. He was grinning. "I look forward to the day when I can put corrupt bastards like our dad and brother away."

"Kel," exclaimed Ian, shooting his brother a warning look.

"What?" Kellan replied, almost dismissively, leaning over the arm of the chair. "Doesn't she know about dear ole dad?" Erin watched Ian press his balled up hand to his lips in frustration.

"No, she didn't know," he responded, anger at his brother clear in his voice.

"I kinda still don't," added Erin uncomfortably, confused and trying to stop herself wondering what the big secret was. Ian briefly closed his eyes, preparing to tell her even though he obviously didn't want to, but now probably felt like he had no choice.

"You know how I said my last name wasn't a coincidence," he began, his voice heavy with discomfort and his words slow.

"Yeah," Erin replied, remembering the remark from when they first introduced themselves to each other. Ian opened his mouth to continue telling the story, but Kellan cut him off.

"Do your parents rent your place?" he asked, so matter of factly that it caught Erin off guard. Ian turned to his brother, his eyes narrowing in disbelief.

"Kel, what the fuck?" Kellan ignored his brother and looked directly at Erin for her answer.

"No," she said quietly, shaking her head. "We bought it." She tucked her hair behind her ear to stop it tickling the side of her face.

"Well if you did rent," Kellan continued, placing emphasis on 'did'. "Chances are that our brother would be collecting it." He paused, laughing slightly to himself. "Well when he's finished college and can inherit the family business properly, anyway."

"I see," Erin said slowly, nodding once. She realized that this meant that their family were rich, like really rich, or had been when their father was alive. Erin glanced over at Ian, who looked thoroughly unimpressed with the fact that Erin now knew this, like he was totally ashamed of it.

"So I'm using my inheritance money to get a damn good law degree," concluded Kellan, leaning back so he was sat in the armchair properly. "At least I plan on it." Erin flashed him an awkward half smile.

"Thanks for giving Erin the quick McKinley family history 101 Kel," Ian said sarcastically, still annoyed with him. "But can we work on our project now?" This was obviously a polite way of telling him to get lost.

Kellan flashed a wide smile, picking up on the message. "Sure thing kiddo." He grabbed his chips and rose from the armchair, sauntering out of the room and up the stairs.

"I'm sorry about him," grumbled Ian once the sound of Kellan's movements had died, moving to open his bag. Erin felt some of the embarrassment she'd felt over being pushed into a conversation that Ian had clearly been uncomfortable with rise back into her chest. She wanted to let him know that it didn't change how she saw him, but was struggling to think of what to say.

"It's okay," she said softly, laughing nervously as she sat down at the other end of the couch. "You hear me vent about my parents enough." Ian shook his head as he pulled their science work out of his bag and placed it in the space between them.

"That wasn't even the half of it," he said, regret lacing his voice. He grimaced slightly.

"It's still okay," Erin assured him, smiling. She hoped that he knew she wouldn't care, whatever it was that he wasn't ready for her to know about. She was just happy to have him as a friend, no matter what came with that. For the first time in years, she didn't feel lonely, and that was down to him. So she wanted to show her gratitude whenever he was ready to let her in.

He gave her half a smile in return, until the sound of their front door opening reached them. Erin felt a cold sheet of panic flash in her chest, since they hadn't heard Kellan come downstairs, but Ian seemed completely unfazed.

"Ian? Kel?" A female voice called from the hallway. Erin let out a sigh of relief, realizing that it was obviously somebody they knew, and not an intruder. She scolded herself for being so pathetic and easily startled.

"In here Rand," Ian replied, still laying out pieces of paper with their project notes on over the couch cushion. "What's up?"

"My mom's home, can I hang here for a while?" the voice from the hallway responded, and Erin turned to watch the girl walk into the room. Her red tartan pants were the first thing that caught Erin's attention, and she slowly moved her eyes up, taking in the girl's black shirt and hair.

"If you don't mind watching me work on my science project," Ian replied, not even looking up at the girl until she was halfway to the armchair.

"Of course not," she said, flinging a messenger bag covered in badges into the armchair before perching on the arm. Erin met her eyes. The girl smiled. "Hey, you must be Erin."

"Yeah," she replied, nodding bashfully as she studied the girl's heavy eye makeup and the stud in her nose. This may be the coolest girl she'd ever seen.

"Miranda," the girl said, titling her head to the side. "So nice to finally meet you."


	4. Chapter 4

"It's good to meet you too," Erin stammered, unsure what to do with her hands. She settled on an awkward wave.

"Like, you have no idea how excited I've been," said Miranda, her head nodding enthusiastically as she spoke. "I was just amazed that he managed to make a friend without my help."

"Thanks Rand," said Ian sarcastically, dropping another page of notes into the pile on the couch. He sighed. "Sorry Erin, it looks like we're never going to work on this project."

"It's okay," she replied softly. She would have been fine with not working on the project and just getting to know Miranda now that she was here. Erin loved having Ian as a friend, but there was still that part of her that craved friendship with another girl. She'd always envied the confidence of other girls, wishing that it was easier for her to make friends. When they were the first ones to turn on her for not talking or joining in with games like they did, the negative voice in her head told her that the kinds of epic girl friendships she'd seen in the playground or read about in books was unachievable for her. She hoped this would be a chance to prove that negative voice wrong.

"Relax dude," Miranda told Ian. "When's it due?"

"Monday." Miranda rolled her eyes heavily.

"It's Thursday," she exclaimed, the tone of her voice telling Erin that similar conversations were a somewhat frequent occurrence. "You've got all weekend to work on it."

"Since when did I take advice on school work from you?" Ian fired back, following the banter with a playful smirk. Miranda pretended to look wounded.

"Rude," she replied, drawing the word out. Erin exchanged a quick glance with her, before she turned back to Ian. "Well you can work on it, while I get to know the lovely Erin here."

"That's not necessary," Erin said almost immediately, feeling her cheeks redden. Anxiety stirred in her chest. She wasn't sure there was enough about her to fill a conversation, let alone hour's worth of time working on a project. "I'm actually really boring."

"She's not," interjected Ian, which caused Erin to send a shocked glance in his direction. "She just doesn't know how to cope with positive attention." The truth in his words made the heat in her cheeks double in strength.

"So you're one of the loser kids too, huh?" said Miranda, in an empathetic kind of way that out of context would have sounded mocking.

"Yeah," Erin admitted quietly, uncomfortably aware of how red her face must look. Miranda grinned.

"You'll fit right in then," she beamed, making Erin laugh slightly. She'd never seen somebody so upbeat about their own unpopularity. Miranda twisted a small silver ring on her pinky finger. "So how did you guys meet? Ian never told me."

"We're locker neighbours," answered Erin, Miranda raised her eyebrows, a knowing smirk forming on her painted mouth.

"It seems you've got a thing for your locker neighbours McKinley," she teased, leaning towards Ian slightly. He looked up from the papers for long enough to shake his head at her, after which she turned back to Erin. "Our lockers were next to each other when he started sixth grade and I was in seventh, but we'd known each other for a while before that."

"Interesting," said Erin, nodding her head twice. "Where'd you meet?"

"At the park a couple blocks from here," answered Miranda, pointing behind Erin towards the front door, which told her which direction the park was in. "His mom had just moved in. Sent him and his brother to the park while she got the house ready. I used to go by myself."

"She started playing with me and Kellan," Ian added.

"And the rest was history," finished Miranda theatrically, an animated smile on her face. "Ian and Kellan are like the brothers I never had."

"Are you an only child too?" asked Erin immediately, half of the words out of her mouth before she realized she was talking.

"Yeah," said Miranda. "You too?"

"Yup," Erin replied. She didn't know many other only children in her old town. It made the loneliness she felt even stronger. On top of having no friends or siblings, her parents were both always working, so the only other kids she spent any real time with were the children of her mom's friend who would babysit her after school, and the oldest of those kids was two years younger than her.

"It's a good thing really," Miranda sighed, which almost made Erin gasp in shock. She'd longed for siblings for as long as she could remember. "My parents could barely look after one kid, let alone more."

"Your parents suck too then?" replied Erin, understanding Miranda's previous statement a little better now. She didn't reply, but instead blinked at Erin while narrowing her eyes. Erin wondered if she'd said something wrong, anxiety rising in her chest again.

"Ian did you read this girl's mind or something?" said Miranda, her voice loud with surprise. "How did you know she'd fit so well with us."

"Well, it's really just my mom that sucks," Erin stated before Ian could say anything in response, feeling guilty for letting Miranda think that her dad wasn't a good parent. "I actually like my dad."

"Mine's in jail for armed robbery," Miranda replied, causing Erin to blink and try and stop her mouth from falling open. "And my mom." Miranda sighed. "I feel like I'm her parent more than she is mine. But you're not on your own with the one crappy parent thing, Ian's mom is amazing."

"Ok, less talk of parenting more talk of science," said Ian, rather sternly, from beside Erin. She nodded and scooted closer to him so she could begin working on the project with him. She was happy to change the subject, especially knowing how uncomfortable Ian was talking about his dad. While they worked, Miranda pulled a portable CD player and headphones from her bag and sat listening to music. Once they were finished, Erin began listening to the beat coming through Miranda's headphones.

"What are you listening to?" she asked after plucking up the nerve to disturb Miranda.

"The band is called HIM," she answered, pulling the headphones over her head, holding them out towards Erin. "Here, take the headphones." She perched on the arm of the chair as Miranda had done when she first arrived, placing them over her ears.

"You like it?" Miranda asked, intrigued as Erin nodded her head along to the beat.

"Yeah," she replied. "I hadn't really listened to this kind of music before I met Ian, but I like it."

"I've been letting her borrow some of my CD's," Ian added from the couch. Miranda smiled.

"Nice work," she grinned. "She'll be dressing like us next."

"I would," said Erin immediately, flooding with embarrassment over how eager she sounded. "I mean, your outfit looks so cool, and I'd love to have the confidence to look so different on purpose like that." she paused, laughing. She knew that her mom would never let her. "My mom would hate it."

"Doesn't that make you want to do it even more?" asked Miranda, her voice low and encouraging as she shot Erin a wicked smile.

"Yes," she admitted, starting to think that it would be the perfect way of telling her mom to back off and stop trying to make her into someone she wasn't. Erin would start painting her nails and wearing makeup, which she never did. She'd need to reinvent her entire wardrobe; the prospect of which was becoming even more exciting the more she thought about it, aside from the amount of effort it would take. "But I'd need to replace my entire closet."

"Thrift stores are your friend," said Miranda, apparently sharing Erin's excitement. "And, you can't tell me you own nothing black?"

"I have black clothes," Erin replied flatly. "But nothing cool like your pants or Ian's shirts."

"Come over to my place after school some time," Miranda offered warmly, pausing slightly as the excitement grew on her face. "I know how to shred jeans, I can teach you."

"Wow," said Erin, letting out a quiet and slightly shocked laugh. She'd never seen someone so happy to welcome her into their life before. The feeling it gave her was dizzying, her cheeks were hurting from smiling.

"I do lots of DIY on my clothes," explained Miranda, the enthusiasm slipping from her face and voice. "Since I don't have much money to buy them with." She looked away, before turning back to Erin. "Do you?"

"She does," Ian answered for her. Erin and Miranda looked over at him, Erin feeling both embarrassed and relieved, since she knew how different Miranda's life was from hers. She didn't want to be the one to point it out. "I've been to her house, it's nice."

"I get an allowance," Erin stammered awkwardly, definitely not wanting to admit how much. "But I never really spend it, since I never had friends to hang out with before I moved here. I mostly just buy art supplies."

"You're into art?" asked Miranda, the positivity and intrigue returning to her features, which made Erin breathe a silent sigh of relief.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"She's not just into it, she's amazing at it," Ian began, causing both of them to look over at him again. "She has this sketchbook that she draws in at lunch. You should see her sketches Rand, they're awesome." Erin looked at the floor as furious blushing spread across her cheeks.

"It seems you're got yourself a fan there Erin," Miranda laughed, nudging Erin in the side. She refused to look up from the floor. He face was on fire.

"What?" stammered Ian, which distracted Erin from her own bashfulness. "She was only going to sell herself short if you asked her how good she was." There was a moment of silence, which Erin found far too uncomfortable.

"But anyway," said Miranda, resting her hand on top of Erin's, which stopped her staring at the floor. "You should totally come over some time. I can teach you how to do your make up, let you listen to more music." Erin nodded in agreement, making Miranda squeal excitedly

"This is going to be so much fun."


	5. Chapter 5

Erin got her trip to Miranda's house for a makeover two weeks after they'd first discussed the idea, just as Halloween was approaching. She already had plans with Ian and Miranda for that night. Erin and Miranda had called each other almost every other day since they'd first met. Erin's parents were happy that she'd made another friend, even her mother, but Erin filled with smug satisfaction whenever she thought about how she would probably like Miranda even less than she liked Ian, despite the fact she was another girl.

Miranda met Ian and Erin at his place when she got out of school, before walking them across the street to her house. Miranda lived right at the end of the street on the opposite side of the road to Ian, in a small house with unkempt plants growing in front of the porch. Erin followed her up the porch steps and into the house.

It was the smallest house Erin could ever remember being in. The downstairs area was mostly open plan, with a living area on her right and a dining table on her left, in front of a small and open kitchen. The stairs were right in front of them, and Erin could see a small corridor behind the living area leading to another small room. Looking around made Erin start to feel guilty about how big her own house was.

Miranda led them up the stairs and into her bedroom, which was bigger than Erin expected it to be. The ceiling was slanted towards the front of the house, and there was an en suite bathroom at the other end of the room. Miranda's twin bed took up a lot of room, the midnight blue covers a stark contrast to the white, poster splattered walls.

Miranda went straight to her bed, throwing herself on it and kicking her boots off. Ian sat down in a beanbag at the far end of the room below the slanted roof, leaving Erin stood awkwardly, wondering where to place herself. She decided to walk over to the shelving units by the window, gazing intently at the spines of the books and CD cases that sat on it. Miranda eventually made a little more room on her bed, patting the space beside her for Erin to sit down.

"So where do we start?" she asked as Erin sat herself down, adjusting her pillow behind her so she could lean comfortably against the headboard.

"We could put on some music," Erin suggested, eager to fill the silence. She was enjoying exploring the new music at Ian and Miranda had exposed her to. They'd been writing her lists of artists and albums to listen to, letting her borrow their cd's, which made Erin feel devious as she hid the borrowed items from her mother, knowing that she'd hate her having them and probably confiscate and keep them.

"Great idea," said Miranda, smiling as she rose from her bed. "What do you want?"

"Whatever," shrugged Erin, stretching out more now that Miranda had moved. "I don't really have enough knowledge to choose."

"Ok," Miranda replied, hovering by the chest of drawers against the diagonal wall between her bed and the door. "I'll just play whatever's in there." She looked at the CD case resting on top of the drawers, next to her small CD player.

"_Infest_ it is," she said.

"I've listened to that album," Erin told her, instantly questioning whether she'd sounded too pushy, rethinking the boldness in her tone.

"Do you want me to play something you haven't already heard?" asked Miranda, which made Erin feel slightly guilty despite being exactly what she wanted. She nodded tentatively.

"Take a look at my shelf and pick out the stuff you've already heard," Miranda instructed, and Erin quickly got up and walked back over to the shelf between the bathroom and the window, the bigger of the two, where the CD's were.

Erin began reading their narrow spines, pulling out the albums out that Ian had already let her borrow, and the _HIM_ album she'd borrowed from Miranda last week. Once she'd sorted a pile, she continued to look at what was left on Miranda's shelf. There were a few names she recognised from the recommendation lists she'd had from Ian and Miranda, like _Stabbing Westward_ and _Switchblade Symphony_.She noticed that Miranda had far more cassette tapes than CD's with names on her list like _The Cure, Nirvana_ and _Ministry._ She was about to look at them in closer detail when she heard Miranda's observations while she was looking at the CD's Erin had separated out from beside her.

"He got you into the industrial stuff early, I see," remarked Miranda as she studied the pile of CDs Erin had separated. She nodded.

Ian and Miranda had taught Erin more about music than she'd ever expected to know; about rock and metal sub genres, which of the singers were also song writers, how to pick out the sound of each instrument, the history and development of alternative music. Ian and Miranda also had their own distinct preferences. While they both enjoyed listening to all of the bands they had so far introduced Erin to, Ian had a clear preference towards angry industrial metal, whereas Miranda leaned more towards gloomy gothic rock bands.

Both of their preferences stemmed from how they discovered alternative music; Miranda owned older music because she was more likely to find it in thrift stores and hear it on the radio, where she discovered rock and metal. Ian shared an appreciation of heavy metal with his brother Kellan, and had developed his tastes as Kellan developed his drumming skills, diving into research of industrial metal bands after discovering _Nine Inch Nails. _Erin enjoyed all of it, and was simply happy discovering new music. She'd also started listening to the radio station Miranda gave her and had been watching the TV channels that played music in order to discover even more.

"This should be fine for you then," said Miranda, pulling out a CD with a green man on the front, _Rob Zombie_ written just to the right of the picture. Erin watched Miranda walk back to the CD player, before picking the CD's that were on the floor up and putting them back in their place on the shelf. As the eerie intro track began playing, Miranda turned around.

"Now," she said excitedly, clasping her hands together. "Do we start with clothes, or makeup?"

"Clothes," Erin answered immediately, standing up and walking towards Miranda's closet.

Once they were both at the closet, its doors both flung open, Miranda held out items of clothing for Erin to look at. They went through Miranda's dresses first, mostly floor or knee length and black, but she had one dress of burgundy velvet that Erin wanted to try on as soon as she saw it. The skirt was floor length, but shorter at the front, and Erin feared the skirt would be so long on her that she wouldn't be able to walk in it, but Miranda pulled out a shorter dress of the same colour and material and handed it to her, to put in a try on pile on her bed.

As they went through Miranda's clothes, Erin saw patterns emerging in Miranda's style. She liked black and red together, usually in stripes or tartan, and she didn't own many graphic t shirts like Ian did, preferring to wear block colours. She did own a lot of mesh and fishnet shirts, one of which Erin tried on under one of Miranda's few graphic t shirts and a pair of long black cargo pants. This was the outfit Erin decided she was going to stay in until she had to leave, changing into it in the bathroom.

"Hey Ian," Erin heard Miranda yell from the bedroom as she was ready to exit in Miranda's clothes. "Put your book down you big nerd, and take a look at my handiwork." After a second of silence, Miranda opened the bathroom door and Erin walked back into the bedroom.

"Tadaaa," said Miranda theatrically as Erin walked out. She tugged at the edge of the shirt, the fishnet slightly uncomfortable under it. She stopped in the middle of the room, watching Ian review the outfit she and Miranda had pieced together.

"You look awesome," he said, nodding in approval from over the top of his book.

"Thanks," Erin replied, smiling widely. She turned towards the bed when she felt heat begin to creep into her cheeks.

"And I was thinking," began Miranda, walking towards Erin. "Those pants are getting a little too small for me, so you can take them with you."

"Really?" exclaimed Erin, her cheeks hurting from the continuous smiling.

"Of course," replied Miranda, sharing her joy. Miranda then turned abruptly towards the pile of schoolbags near the door. "Did you bring that old pair of jeans?"

"Yeah," said Erin.

"Great," Miranda responded, heading over to the pile and handing Erin her bag. "Now I can shred them for you." Erin worked on getting the jeans out of her bag, while Miranda pulled a small plastic box out from under her bed. "While I'm doing that, you can change the CD and take a note of which of my clothes you like most."

Erin nodded in agreement, throwing the jeans on the bed and the bag on the floor before heading back to the CD shelf, ready to watch.


	6. Chapter 6

"And done," came Miranda's theatrical voice as Erin felt her pull the thick pencil away from her eyelid. Erin opened her eyes, blinking as her eyes adjusted back to the light of the room after being closed for five minutes while Miranda framed her eyes with heavy kohl. She reached up to bat away some of the water sitting on her eyelid from when Miranda went over it with the eyeliner, hoping not to smudge.

"Thanks Rand," said Erin as Miranda handed her a compact mirror so she could see the work for herself. "It looks great."

"Did you want any lipstick?" she asked as she sat down beside Erin on Ian's couch, her makeup bag in between them.

"No thank you," said Erin politely. She'd tried on Miranda's lipstick at her house last week, which she felt was a little too much for her. Miranda then picked a black lipstick out of the bag and applied a fresh coat.

"So, are we all ready to go or what?" asked Ian from the armchair after Miranda finished touching up her lipstick. They were walking to the corner store a block away to buy some snacks for their movie marathon, and enough candy to convince Erin's parents that they'd been trick or treating, since she wasn't allowed to watch horror movies. _'They're rated R for a reason Erin'_ she'd quoted mockingly as she explained to Ian at lunch why she'd never seen a horror movie before. He'd suggested rectifying that as soon as possible, Halloween providing a convenient opportunity. They'd planned how to deceive Erin's parents together, involving Miranda as soon as the plan was complete. They passed Kellan on the way out, who was pulling his van into the driveway.

"Hey, are you out tonight?" Ian shouted down the driveway as Kellan stopped his van and got out.

"Yeah, Justin's," he answered, stopping beside them. "We missed you guys at his party Friday, why didn't you come?"

"Erin has an eight pm curfew," answered Ian. Kellan made a face.

"Eight?" he stammered disbelievingly. "Jeez, that sucks. What are you guys doing tonight?"

"Movie marathon," answered Miranda. "We'll come to the next one, when we don't have friends with super strict parents with us." Kellan nodded before heading into the house. The group began making their way down the street.

"So my mom won't even let me watch horror movies, but yours lets you go to high school parties?" Erin said to Ian as they walked beside each other down the street, her eyebrows raised questioningly.

"It was one time," he explained, shoving his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie "I wanted to watch Kel play, and keep an eye on Rand." Erin nodded, thinking it sweet. Ian generally didn't like people, but the few people he did care about, he was fiercely protective of, even if they were older and could look after themselves.

"What does that say about you Rand, that you need a fourteen year old babysitter," Ian teased, turning away from Erin towards Miranda, who was walking on his other side.

"It's only because you're a forty year old man in a fourteen year olds body," she fired back, smirking as he flipped her off.

"What? I don't trust parties," Ian argued. "And you like to drink."

"How does someone so young become so cynical," Miranda replied exaggeratedly, like she was reading a monologue. "The world may never know." She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"The world knows exactly how," Ian replied, shifting out from under Miranda's hand and bumping into Erin. He shot her a quick apologetic glance for knocking her towards the curb before turning back to Miranda. "By being such a shit show."

"True," said Miranda. "Although some of us would like to forget what a shit fest it is on occasion, rather than actively reminding themselves all the time." Miranda's voice got gradually higher, telling Erin that this comment was clearly pointed.

"At least I don't set myself up for disappointment," replied Ian. "Have low expectations from the start, then you're either surprised or right. Mostly right."

"You're right," Miranda responded loudly as they passed her house on the other side of the street and walked out into the road. She walked ahead of them, yelling theatrically. "Who needs Halloween when the whole world is a mess? It's like Halloween every day."

"I guess that explains the fashion choices," added Erin, laughing at Miranda, who had now slowed down as they joined her at the other side of the street.

"She gets it," said Ian, laughing with Erin and Miranda as they walked towards the street with the corner store. They bought their popcorn and candy, discussing which movies to watch on their quick walk back. Miranda was insistent that they watch her favourite movie, _The Craft_, and ran inside her house to get the video. They also settled on watching the first _Halloween movie_, since it was Halloween and a classic.

They watched _The Craft_ first, which Erin enjoyed, and could clearly see how much style inspiration Miranda took from Nancy. Erin felt herself relating to Sarah, especially at the start of the movie. Shortly after it ended, as they were waiting for it to finish rewinding, Ian's mom came home.

She'd walked in through the side door, greeting them as she stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room. She was a very short woman with dark hair that came to just below her shoulders. Erin had never actually met her before, as she usually went home from Ian's house before his mom got in from work. Erin suddenly felt nervous, despite hearing nothing but positive things about her.

"You must be Erin," she said as she made her way into the family room, dropping her purse on the table at the back. "I'm Constance, but you can just call me Connie."

"Hi Connie," Erin replied quietly, complete with her signature awkward wave when meeting new people. Ian's mom stood in front of the couch, blocking Miranda, who was placing her video in its case, from Erin's view. Looking closer, Erin noticed a long scar on her face, running along her left cheek.

"I assume that your brother is out," she said to Ian, who confirmed that Kellan had gone out. He'd slipped out to his friend's house in full costume midway through their movie, apologising for disturbing them but still stealing a handful of popcorn before he went.

"And I assume that you three won't be wanting dinner, given the amount of junk food on the couch," she continued, smiling as she looked down at the chocolate, candy and popcorn. Ian shook his head.

"Ok, I'll leave you kids to whatever it is you're doing," she said before heading back towards the kitchen. "Nice to meet you Erin." She called as she disappeared into the next room.

"You too," Erin called back, her voice breaking slightly as the lingering anxiety slipped into it. She grimaced in embarrassment, feeling her cheeks heat up. Miranda managed to divert her attention away from her own awkwardness by putting the next movie in the video player.

After the movie, there was half an hour until Erin's dad was coming to pick her up. Miranda took that time to help her wipe off her make up while Ian shoved some of the candy into a plastic bag, to look like it had come from trick or treating.

"Crap," Erin exclaimed, filling with panic as she watched Ian get the bag ready. Her outburst made Miranda startle, sending a trail of half removed eyeliner down the side of Erin's face.

"What?" said Ian, concerned. He dropped the bag immediately and went over to them.

"Costume," Erin stated. "I told my parents I'd left my costume here so I didn't have to carry it around school all day. I don't have one."

"I might be able to fix this," Ian replied immediately. "We have some old ones somewhere, I could just give you one of those."

"Thank you," Erin replied, smiling warmly as he dashed off upstairs to find one in the twenty minutes they had to spare. She tried to slow her breathing down and relax as Miranda removed the last of her makeup, fighting the urge to fidget. Ian came downstairs with a costume five minutes before Erin's dad pulled up outside. It was a simple skeleton costume, but it was something. Erin let out a sigh of relief, thanking Ian again. She almost moved in to hug him, but stopped at the last minute.

Erin stood at the door with a smile when her dad knocked, her bags all ready. She said goodnight to her friends, settled into the passenger side of her dad's car, and began crafting the lie about how their evening went in her head, trying not to smile as she pushed the true version to the back of her thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay," began Miranda, shoving open the doors to one of Erin's closets, the one closest to the entrance to her bedroom. "Let's start with this one." Erin nodded. "Also, can I just say that your closet space is huge and I am insanely jealous."

Erin didn't say anything in response, tendrils of guilt over how much she hadcompared to Miranda latching onto her chest. A part of her had been nervous about the first time Miranda visited her house, because of the class difference between her life and Miranda's, especially as Miranda began to open up more about her parents. For this same reason, she was also worried about Miranda meeting her parents. She knew her mother wouldn't like her, which ordinarily would have excited her, but she wanted to protect Miranda from her mother's judgemental streak, even more so as many of the comments she would inevitably make about Miranda if she knew her background, were said to her every day at school.

"I feel like that amount of closet space is wasted on me," Erin replied, pulling off her shoes and throwing them on the floor. She looked around her room, suddenly self conscious of how plain it was. Compared to Miranda's bedroom, her room was a ghost. There were no personal touches, everything in neutral colours. Miranda's personality exploded through the posters on her bedroom walls and every small, hand crafted decoration gave the room light.

"I think you're right," replied Miranda, staring at the clothes hanging limply, miles of space between each garment. "This is making my heart cry a little."

"Well I'm not as into fashion as you are," Erin argued. Up until two months ago she'd had no interest in fashion at all, most of her clothes had been bought for her by her parents.

"Clearly," said Miranda, holding up a party dress Erin had never worn. "Please tell me you didn't choose this yourself."

"I didn't," Erin answered, looking at the ruffled skirt in mild embarrassment. "My mom bought me that."

"She really must hate you," replied Miranda jokingly, shooting the dress a grimace before throwing it on the floor. "That reminds me. What time is the bitch coming back here?"

"Rand!" exclaimed Erin, laughing through the shock. Erin had tried very hard not to pick up her friends bad mouths, knowing that she'd inevitably let a swear word slip at home and get in a great deal of trouble. Hearing them insult her mother pleased her though. She was surprised by it every time, since she'd never been allowed to state her own feelings aloud. "She'll be home around six, and she knows you're staying for dinner. The ironic thing is that she's very excited to meet you."

"Oh what a disappointment she's got coming," laughed Miranda, holding up another one of Erin's dresses. "See, this is cute, this has potential." She threw the red sundress towards the bed, missing it narrowly.

"So how are we doing this?" asked Erin, leaning across her bed to pick the red sundress up off the floor. "A keep pile and a trash pile?"

"I was thinking more of a keep pile, trash pile, and then an improvement pile," Miranda explained, pulling Erin's favourite denim jacket out of the closet. "The stuff that goes in the improvement pile, we can work on at my house, like this." She placed the jacket on the floor, the opposite side of the bed to the ruffled party dress.

"Good plan," said Erin, biting her lip with excitement. This was going to help her stop feeling like a child, like she was actually growing up. She was finally taking charge, using what little control she had over her life. "Let's get started."

Erin and Miranda put on some music and rampaged through Erin's closet, sorting her clothes into stuff to keep and stuff to throw out, that no longer represented who she was. They laughed, made fun of the clothes, and Erin couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much fun so often. Her friendship with Miranda was becoming everything she'd longed for all the way through elementary and middle school. It almost felt like she'd dreamt the last three weeks.

The end result left many of Erin's clothes in the trash pile, as she'd suspected, but Miranda had surprised her with how many clothes she'd put in the improvement pile. Most of her plain t shirts, with the exception of a sunflower yellow one that Miranda pretended was burning her skin as she theatrically threw it on the trash pile, her jeans, some of her striped shirts, and even the denim dress Erin hated but still wore in the summer because it was one of her few casual dresses, ended up on the improvement pile. She was intrigued by what Miranda had planned for them.

"Now some of these will need operating on at my place," said Miranda, staring down at the pile, now that the assortment was over. "But you can do some of this stuff yourself. Does your mom let you do the laundry?"

"Yes."

"Good," Miranda responded, picking up a beige maxi skirt with red flowers on. "Pale fabrics like this can be dyed in the laundry. Just throw this in with those red pants in the keep pile and it will be red too by the time the cycle is done."

"Rand, has anyone ever told you that you're a fashion genius?" said Erin, freeing some space on her bed so Miranda could sit down too.

"I tell myself that every day," she replied with feigned grandeur as she flopped down beside Erin. "And now I have you as the proof. Has your mom seen the clothes you bought last week yet?"

"Not all of it," Erin replied, looking at the floor length black skirt in the keep pile at the end of the bed. "But she's stopped commenting on my clothes now, disapproving looks only." This had happened after Erin and her mother had a huge argument last week about Miranda shredding her jeans. Her father had defended her, pointing out that Erin wanting to fit in with her new friends was perfectly normal, and if her friends were anybody else, then she wouldn't be complaining, and would be actively encouraging her to fit in. She'd been begrudgingly quiet after that.

"Result," said Miranda excitedly. "Which gods did you make a sacrifice to in order to make that happen?"

"None," replied Erin, laughing at Miranda's exaggeration. "My dad pointed out what a hypocrite she was being." Miranda smiled in response, but Erin noticed a look of sadness in her eyes.

"So you didn't have to tell her they were part of your Halloween outfit after all," said Miranda. The weekend before Halloween, Erin had met Ian and Miranda and they took her thrift shopping. Erin was giddy with excitement, enjoying the power and control of choosing her clothes herself. She'd bought the long black skirt, a black and red striped sweater, the grey sweater she was wearing now, a couple of t shirts and a black and red striped long sleeve shirt, which Miranda had declared an absolute essential and insisted she buy so loudly that people in the store started staring at them.

"No, I didn't," Erin confirmed, remembering how touched she was that Miranda had a an excuse for her buying the clothes ready in the back of her mind, and then angry as Ian reminded them how fucked up it was that she needed an excuse purely to buy clothes she liked in the first place.

"We'll get to work on your room next," said Miranda, glancing over at the bare wall on the opposite side of the room, Erin's TV sitting lonely against it. "If your mom doesn't ban me from the house after meeting me, that is."

Erin laughed, fighting against the embarrassment bubbling inside her. She didn't like how her room looked, because it bore no resemblance to the person she was becoming, it looked like her old life, the friendless life she had before she moved here. As soon as she brought Miranda over, she knew that she would have to see it, and she'd been dreading that, not wanting her old and new lives to mix.

"You're the first friend I've brought in here," Erin blurted out, regretting it as soon as the words were out in the open.

"Let me guess, you haven't brought Ian in here because you aren't allowed boys in your room," Miranda replied, a playful smile forming on her face.

"My parents both work all the time, they'd never know," Erin replied, feeling even more uncomfortable as she realized that she was more desperate to keep Ian out of this visual representation of her old life than she was Miranda, but unable to think why. "And I'm pretty sure my mother hasn't stooped so low as to bug my room." She laughed nervously, hoping her joke hid the discomfort well enough.

"You never know," teased Miranda, which caused Erin to roll her eyes.

"Besides, I've never seen Ian's room, and I've been to his house a few times now," Erin said, more to remind herself of that then to inform Miranda. She laughed.

"It's probably messy and he's been too embarrassed to take you up there," Miranda responded, laughing. "But I'm sure he could help us figure out what to do with this soulless box of a room."

"Hey," said Erin, swatting Miranda's arm. "That's my soulless box of a room." She continued to laugh, disguising her unease at the thought. She didn't want him to see her room before they'd worked on it.

"Maybe we should think of some ideas right now," Erin said loudly, masking distraction as enthusiasm. She got up off the bed, heading towards the desk table. "I'll get one of my sketchbooks."

"Oh cool, can I see some of your sketches?" asked Miranda as Erin threw a ring bound notebook onto the bed. She pulled a thin metal pencil case out of the same drawer, feeling heat rise in her cheeks as she agreed to let Miranda look at her sketches.

"Woah. Ian was right, you are good," exclaimed Miranda as Erin made her way over to the bed. She felt the blush in her cheeks intensify, sitting upright rather than lying across the bed like before. Miranda handed Erin the book. She flicked to an empty page and began sketching the outline of the room.

"Has he ever shown you any of his drawings?" asked Miranda, the question taking Erin off guard.

"Not really," Erin answered tentatively, feeling suddenly uneasy as to why she hadn't known before that Ian drew. "He doodles on his notes a little, but he never told me he draws too."

"Hmm, I wonder why that is?" Miranda wondered aloud, more to herself than to Erin. She made a note to ask him at school on Monday, feeling more bothered by the fact he'd kept that information from her than she thought was reasonable.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin sped through the halls of McKinley Middle School, ducking out of the way of groups of students blocking the hallways as she made her way to her locker. Once she got there, she found Ian waiting, like she always did, except for the days he was running late, and went over.

"Hey," he said as he stepped back and let her open her locker. She unlocked it and shoved one book inside while taking another out. "How was your weekend?"

"It was fine," she answered flatly. She'd spent most of the weekend sketching out ideas for decorating her room, while keeping out of her mom's way after the argument they had Friday night. "I spent most of the time in my room trying to avoid my mom's disapproval of Miranda."

Ian grimaced, backing away from the lockers as they started walking to class. "Ooh, that bad huh."

"I thought she didn't like you," Erin replied, emphasising the 'you'. "Her reaction to Miranda was so bad it makes yours look like a seal of approval."

"What ruined it?" asked Ian.

"I think the nose stud really sold it," Erin answered, glancing sideways at Ian as she spoke. "But when she told them her mom didn't drive and worked at a bar, you'd think mom stepped in dog shit by the look on her face."

"Erin," Ian exclaimed, feigning shock and exaggeratedly touching his chest. "Such language." Erin laughed begrudgingly.

"Shut up," she replied, swatting his arm as he smirked at her reaction. "You know I try not to swear so I don't accidentally do it at home, it just made me angry, that's all."

"So it should," said Ian, moving out of the way of a group of students clogging up the hallway as they walked in the opposite direction. "Classism is anger inducing." Erin half rolled her eyes at the predictability of his comment. He really did talk like no other teenager. Miranda playfully teased him about it, but it was one of the things Erin liked most about him. It projected a sense of confidence that Erin admired, and sometimes thought she would never have.

"At least I got time to work on how I want my room to look while I was avoiding my mom," Erin responded, moving the conversation along.

"Well then at least some good came from her heinously judgemental nature," said Ian, smiling as Erin laughed at him insulting her mom.

"Me and Rand started sketching idea's at mine on Friday," she told him, remembering how fun Friday had been until her mom had come home from work. She then remembered the question she wanted to ask Ian. "Speaking of which, I was wondering why you didn't tell me that you draw."

"Rand told you, didn't she," he replied, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Yup," Erin confirmed. A second of silence passed and he didn't respond. "And?"

"I'm entitled to keep information to myself, aren't I?" he replied, a tone of feigned defensiveness in his voice, almost questioning her curiosity.

"Of course," said Erin, matching his tone of voice. "That's reasonable for personal stuff." She paused, a small ball of anxiety forming in her chest. She was unsure that her interest wasn't invasive. She desperately hoped he didn't see it that way. "But all you needed to do was say, oh me too, when I told you I draw and showed you my sketches, I wouldn't have asked to see any."

"I almost did," admitted Ian, which made Erin's eyes widen in surprise. Her anxiety eased, knowing that he'd been thinking about it and she wasn't intruding on something he wanted to keep private. "But then I took one look at your sketches and didn't think it was worth mentioning."

"Why not?" asked Erin, feeling almost saddened by this.

"Because you're so much better than me," Ian replied, a shy smile on his face. Erin mirrored it, feeling herself start to blush. "And I don't really draw as a hobby, it's more for catharsis."

"Catharsis?" asked Erin, not recognising the word.

"A process of releasing emotion," Ian explained. "Usually used to describe the release of strong negative emotions, like stress, or anger." Erin nodded in understanding. His drawings were probably very personal, depicting things he wasn't ready or willing to talk about with her yet. This made her feel better, but she was still determined to make sure that he knew he wasn't bad at it, even if she'd never seen anything he'd drawn other than basic doodles. After hearing how he felt about her drawings, she was eager to return the compliment.

"I'm sure you're better than you think you are," she said softly, directing a warm smile at him. "And maybe one day you could show me." She leaned closer, hoping her enthusiasm was gently persuasive. "Or draw something for non catharsis purposes." He smiled at her efforts.

"I'll think about it," he replied. They exchanged a tentative glance, a silent exchange of appreciation for the compliments, before they walked into their classroom, where their smiles turned into bored glares as they saw their classmates.

The day went by fast, Erin talked Ian through her ideas for her room over lunch, and they met again outside at the end of the day. Erin silently groaned at the thought of getting on the bus and spending hours alone until her parents got home. It was an unfamiliar feeling for her, not wanting to be alone, but she found herself dreading the moment Ian left to head home.

"Ugh," she mumbled when Ian paused his description of a book he was after. "I don't want to go home." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You'd rather be here?" he questioned, shooting her a look of suspicion. Erin shook her head.

"No," she clarified. "Of course not." She paused, sighing quietly. "I just don't feel like going home to a big empty house." The words sounded weird coming out of her mouth, she used to long for a few hours of undisturbed solitude after a the hell of school, but right now the thought of it made her feel empty.

"This is your fault, you've gotten me way too used to being around people," Erin said to Ian accusingly, only half serious. She knew that it was because of him that she longed to be alone less, but she wasn't unhappy about it, merely surprised. Ian put his hands up in response.

"Okay, I'm sorry for giving you friendship," he replied, shaking his head. "I'll just leave you alone from now on."

"Shut up," said Erin, smacking his arm as she tried to hide her laughter. She shook her head at him as he lowered his arms, trying to look unimpressed but failing. He shot her a playful smile.

"I could come back with you," Ian suggested after Erin was finished trying to pretend she wasn't amused by his theatrics. She stopped, blinking as she considered his idea, which had taken her by surprise. She immediately wanted to say yes, but then her mind flashed to her parents.

"Your parents don't get home until after six, right?" said Ian. Erin nodded in confirmation. "So if I come over, and have Kel pick me up if he's home, say around five-ish, they never need to know I was there."

"Okay then," she agreed, happy that he'd thought of a way to get around her parents. They began walking towards the bus when Ian stopped suddenly before they made two steps.

"Let me just call and make sure he's home," he said, stopping to rifle through his bag and find his phone. Erin stood and listened as Ian talked on the phone with Kellan, who confirmed that he was in fact home for the evening. Ian filled him in on the plan and then they got on the bus.

Once they arrived at Erin's house, she went straight through to the kitchen, Ian tagging along behind her and studying the room. He'd only been to her house twice, and each time she'd kept him in the living room while they'd worked on their science project or their homework together.

"Make yourself comfortable in the living room," Erin instructed Ian as she reached up into one of the kitchen cupboards. "I'd offer you a snack, but mom counts them, so I'll just share mine with you."

"Jesus, what's that about?" Ian responded, clearly unimpressed by her admission.

"She wants to make sure I don't eat too much junk food," Erin began to explain, pulling a bag of potato chips out of the cupboard. "She says it's because she wants me to be healthy, but I secretly think it's so she can think she's a better mom than she actually is."

"That sounds more likely," Ian agreed as they made their way into the living room. Erin held the bag towards him, urging him to take one. "Thanks," he said as he grabbed one.

"So," said Erin after they'd sat down in the living room, the sharing of the chips over, leaving them with silence. "Do you wanna watch tv?"

"I don't really watch tv?" Ian answered. Erin blinked at him.

"Really?" she said incredulously. Ian shrugged. "Rand was right about you."

"There just isn't much I'm interested in on tv," he explained. "I prefer movies."

"Then what do you do to kill time after school?" asked Erin, tucking her feet up on the couch, something she wasn't supposed to do.

"Read, listen to music, play on the Playstation," Ian listed.

"Well I don't have a Playstation," Erin said. "Or the kind of books you read. So maybe we should just play my latest borrow from your CD collection."

"Good idea," replied Ian.

Erin moved to retrieve the CD Ian had given her earlier at school from her bag, finding it sandwiched between her books. She placed it in the CD player in the dining area, turning the volume up so the sound floated loudly through to the living room. They sat talking until Kellan arrived, both surprised by how quickly the time passed.

"Hey Erin," said Kellan as Erin let him in. "Nice house."

"Thanks," she replied.

"You ready to go kiddo?" asked Kellan as he found Ian in the living room putting on his jacket.

"Yup," he answered without looking at his brother. He then grabbed his bag and walked into the hallway to put on his shoes. Erin moved out the way as they walked through the front door. Ian turned around on the porch step, looking back into the house.

"See you tomorrow Erin," he said.

"See you tomorrow," she replied, smiling as she closed the door. There was something effortlessly comfortable about being around Ian, Erin found. She felt comfortable around Miranda too, but something about Ian felt different. Maybe it was the fact she'd expected being friends with boys to be different than this, maybe it was because he was the first friend she made in McKinley, but Erin didn't feel around anyone else the way she felt around Ian. She tried not to think about it too much as she took the CD out of the player downstairs and went upstairs to hide it, also trying not to notice how empty the house felt now he'd left.


	9. Chapter 9

The shrill, repetitive ringing of Erin's alarm clock burst through the silence of her bedroom. She walked over to her bed and turned it off, having already woken up ten minutes earlier. Despite being less and less enthusiastic about her birthday as she got older, Erin always woke earlier than usual on the day. She found herself reaching her fourteenth birthday with a renewed sense of enthusiasm, as she now had friends to share the day with. Before, birthdays had often been reminders of all the friends she didn't have, as her classmates threw huge parties for theirs and invited almost the whole class. She didn't have anyone to invite except family and her babysitter's kids. This fact, coupled with her parents busy work schedules, meant that her last few birthdays had been thoroughly underwhelming.

Erin knew today would be different. She'd chosen an outfit for the day, was spending time after school with her new friends, before going for a birthday dinner with her parents at seven thirty. After turning off her alarm, Erin finished buckling up the belt holding Miranda's old cargo pants around her skinny hips, looking at herself in the mirror. With the cargo pants, she'd paired the one white t shirt that she and Miranda hadn't modified, and a loose red flannel shirt that she'd bought at the weekend. Once she was ready, she headed downstairs, where her parents were waiting with presents piled on the dining room table and her breakfast already made.

"Happy Birthday Erin," they sang in unison as she walked in the room, the surprise freezing her in place. It was rare that they were this affectionate with her, and rare that they presented as a united front and weren't sniping at each other. They usually only reserved it for birthdays and Christmas, and it felt weird to Erin. It felt false, like they were all play acting.

She thanked them, opening her card and her presents, which were mostly practical. Not that Erin was complaining, she enjoyed getting new sketchbooks and art supplies, and needed all the money she could get since she was in the middle of re-vamping her entire image. Erin's birthday and Christmas gifts had been practical since she began growing out of toys, which just reminded her how little she actually knew about herself and what she liked. That fact was even more obvious now she had friends and was developing interests, as the list of things she wanted was growing longer every day.

Erin was also granted reprieve from her mother's nitpicking, something which she hoped would last the whole day. Her last birthday didn't manage to survive the entire day with no critical comments, and had ended in a passive aggressive speech about what a shame it was that Erin wasn't celebrating becoming a teenager with her peers. Erin had said nothing, not wanting to make the situation worse, but she overheard her parents arguing about it after she went to her room that night.

She finished her pancakes while making conversation with her parents, who were actually asking about what she had planned with Ian and Miranda afterschool. Erin had no idea herself, but knowing Miranda it would probably be excessive. Even if it felt slightly false, Erin could feel herself enjoying her parents taking an interest, especially her mother. It felt like a win, like maybe she'd figured out that getting to know Erin was a better approach than trying to criticize her into being someone else, but Erin knew that was wishful thinking. She enjoyed it nonetheless, and left to get the school bus not completely dreading the day.

Like every morning, Erin met Ian at their lockers. She felt her excitement increase the closer she got to their lockers. This was her first birthday in a very long while where she had friends to celebrate it with, and her heart was pounding hard in her chest. She fought to rein in the smile growing on her face, not wanting to alert the other students to her happiness. She didn't want to share it with them, or give them a chance to ruin it. That task grew even harder when she saw him waiting, trying not to speed over to him and give herself away.

"Happy birthday Erin," he said quietly when she reached their lockers, looking around subtly to make sure no one heard him.

"Thanks," she replied, feeling her cheeks begin to redden slightly. Ian began asking her how the day had been so far, so she filled him in as she got the right supplies from her locker. She found a birthday card slipped in amongst the books, and turned around to find Ian smirking.

"Don't open it yet," he instructed her, which she wasn't planning on doing anyway, since it would alert other students to the fact that it was her birthday. "I want you to open it at lunch, which is when I'll give you my present."

"Smart," replied Erin, closing the locker. "That way, if some jerk finds out and ruins my morning, I'll at least have something to look forward to."

"Also we can move around at lunch, so we can go somewhere more quiet when you open your present," Ian added as they walked to class. "That was my original reasoning, but yours makes me sound much more thoughtful, so let's go with that."

Erin laughed, shaking her head as they walked to their homeroom class. Anticipation hummed through Erin all day, and she found herself counting down each hour until lunch. Ian met her at their lockers, and walked Erin outside. There was nobody out there, as it was the middle of November and getting pretty cold. Erin felt the wind's chill through the thin material of her pants. They leaned against the wall, opening their bags.

"I'll get the present first," said Ian, who was digging around in his bag. Erin felt her heart start to hammer in her chest again, anxious to find out what it was. She watched intently as Ian eventually pulled a thin rectangle of wrapping paper from his bag, which Erin unwrapped to find a black stringed necklace with a red jewel sat in the middle.

"I confess that Rand helped me pick it," he said, sounding almost embarrassed. "But you're just developing your tastes right now and I had no idea what to get you. Rand said this would be a winner."

"She was right," Erin replied, her face hurting from the strength of the smile on her face. The necklace was beautiful. She wanted to put it on immediately, but also wanted to protect it from the eyes of her classmates. She clutched it, still grinning as she ran her fingers over the cold stone hanging from it. "Thank you."

"Happy Birthday," said Ian, also smiling as he watched Erin hold the necklace tightly in her hand. She then moved to open the card, which she'd shoved in her backpack.

"Just a heads up," Ian blurted as Erin began opening the envelope. "Open the card carefully in case of any breeze." Erin agreed to, despite the comment confusing her, but all became clearer when she opened the card and found a folded piece of paper inside.

She read the card quickly, depositing it in her backpack with the necklace, before unfolding the paper. The paper revealed a series of comic book style panel sketches, in which who was obviously Erin and her parents were stood around a birthday cake, before it came to life like something out of a kids cartoon and ate her mother.

"Oh my god this is amazing," exclaimed Erin, looking from the paper back up to Ian, who had obviously drawn it. "Don't ever tell me I'm better at drawing than you again."

"But it's the truth," he replied.

"Our artistic styles may be different but that does not make me better," Erin continued, looking down at the cartoon again. "Also you know I can never show my mom this."

"Just tell her it was coincidental," Ian replied playfully with a shrug. "That she just happened to be the one stood closest to the cake." Erin laughed.

"She wouldn't fall for that," she said, folding the paper delicately before slipping it inside the card in her bag. "That was amazing, everything was."

"Good," said Ian, who was now zipping up his bag.

Erin stopped to take a breath, dizzy from how happy she was. Her birthday had turned out better than she'd expected, and it was only halfway through the day. Ian's gifts had been so perfect that Erin was lost for words, and the fact he'd been worried about what to get her since they'd only known each other for two months made her feel much better about feeling exactly the same for his birthday last month. She zipped up her bag, enjoying the feeling of the chill in the air against her flushed face.

"We should go inside and eat now," she said to Ian, breaking the silence that had only been filled by the force of the wind. "I'm hungry." Erin wanted to go back inside as the longer they stood there in silence, the antsier she felt. Once again she found herself wanting to hug Ian, but felt far too shy and awkward to ask if he was okay with that, so it was better to move along now the moment had passed.

"Sure," Ian agreed, heading towards the door they'd come out through and holding it open for Erin. She thanked him as she went through, trying to squash down the discomfort sitting in her chest as she thought about her own awkwardness. One day she would work past it, when this friendship was a little less new to her.

The rest of the school day flew past, and Erin felt the same giddy excitement she'd felt over anticipating Ian's gift when they were heading to his house so she could receive Miranda's. Miranda's present was Erin's first set of make-up. A wand of mascara, an eyeliner pencil, and a small eyeshadow palette consisting of black, white and a few different shades of grey. There was even a bag to put it in, which looked so much like a pencil case that her mom wouldn't be suspicious of it, and stuff to clean it off with. She hugged Miranda in thanks, which resulted in her hair getting caught in Miranda's nose stud, making everyone laugh, and then they ate cupcakes Miranda made for the occasion.

Erin's dad picked her up on his way home from work, and she went out for a pleasant dinner with her parents that evening. When they asked what her friends bought her, she lied and said the necklace, which she was wearing, was from both of them. Erin's streak of having her mother be nice on her birthday ended then, when she made a snide comment about Miranda not being able to afford to buy her own gift, but the day had been to overwhelmingly good for Erin to care.


	10. Chapter 10

Erin struggled with the zip of her coat, stopping quickly to pull it up to her neck before speeding back to Ian's side as they walked down the road leading to the school exit. Ian's house was a fifteen minute walk away from school, so he didn't bother taking the bus, which meant that for today, Erin didn't have to either.

She was hanging out at his house after being out of town all weekend for Thanksgiving, having no contact with him or Miranda since Wednesday. She'd been to stay at her dad's parent's house, having Thanksgiving dinner with them as they always did. She liked her grandparents, as she did most of her father's family. She'd loved visiting them as a child. They had a big house with a huge yard which she'd play in for hours. Now she liked to sketch that yard, detail the flowers and the trees and the birds.

Erin was happy to be back in McKinley with her friends, even though she'd enjoyed the time away. She'd called Ian as soon as they'd arrived back at the house, eager to update him and Miranda on her weekend. They reached the end of the road that lead to the middle school parking lot, waiting for a parent's car to drive out before crossing the street and heading in the direction of Ian's house. Wind whipped the golden leaves on the pavement around their feet as they walked. Erin shoved her hands in her pockets.

"So your family reacted well to the new look then?" said Ian as they walked.

"Mostly yeah," Erin replied, pursing her lips. "My grandpa didn't seem too impressed, but I heard my grandma telling him that it was probably just a phase in the kitchen when they thought I couldn't hear."

"That old line," Ian said amusedly, kicking up a small pile of leaves as he walked through them. Erin laughed.

"It worked," she said, smiling slightly. "He even started asking me non obnoxious questions about it eventually. My cousins thought it was cool."

"How old are they?" asked Ian.

"Ten and eight," Erin answered, pulling hair out of the corner of her mouth from where the wind had blown it.

"Are you the oldest?"

"Yeah," said Erin, stopping as they prepared to cross the street. "What about you, do you have many cousins?"

"A few," Ian answered, a flat detachment to his voice. "But I haven't seen them since right after my dad died." He paused, watching Erin nod attentively as she took in the information. "Mom calls her family now and then, but they haven't really been close since she married my father."

"Oh," Erin said gently.

"She's the youngest of three," continued Ian. "Has two older brothers."

"My dad's the oldest of two," said Erin, smiling warmly. "He has one sister." She watched Ian nod once. "My mom has a sister too, but she lives in California."

"Got the hell out of Pennsylvania while she had the chance, did she?" he replied, an amused smirk on his face.

"Something like that," said Erin, happy to see him relaxed as they talked about family. A question formed in her mind, hoping he would feel comfortable enough to answer as she asked. "Did you want to talk about your Thanksgiving?"

"I don't really like Thanksgiving," Ian answered firstly, which made Erin regret her question slightly. "But that's a long story." He flashed a half smile before continuing. "It was fine. Rand came over like she always does, because her mom usually has to work." Erin nodded.

"It was nice without Roderick here," Ian said, which made Erin blink in surprise. He never talked about his oldest brother. She'd only ever heard his name once, and that was when he told her about him.

"Did he not come home?" she asked, mentally chastising herself for the obvious question, but having no other idea how to continue the conversation. Damn she was so awkward.

"Nope," Ian replied, popping the 'P'. "And I don't think he ever will again. Not that I mind."

"Right," said Erin tentatively, aware of the fact that Ian was opening up to her about something that he never talked about, but also wanting to change the subject since she'd started this conversation and now had no idea how to continue it. She waited until it didn't seem rushed, and then switched the topic of conversation to one of their homework assignments. They talked about school work until they reached Ian's house, when Erin went quiet as he let them in.

"So," he said slowly after checking the house was empty. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Erin replied, hovering in the family room entrance with her arms folded over her chest.

"Did you want a snack? Something to drink?" he asked, dropping his bag on the couch while he unzipped his coat.

"I'll take a drink please," Erin replied.

"Coke okay?" he continued. "Or is your mom gonna breathalyse you for excess sugar consumption when you get home."

"Coke's fine," she answered, laughing at jab at her mother's strictness. Ian then disappeared into the kitchen.

Erin listened to the sounds of Ian walking through the kitchen and opening the fridge, then putting away his coat in the closet by the side door. She smiled when he returned with two cans of coke, following him as he headed up the stairs.

Nerves and excitement stirred Erin's stomach as she realized that she was about to see his bedroom for the first time. This would be the first time she'd ever been in a boy's bedroom, aside from her cousin's room and the son of the woman who used to babysit her. A part of her suddenly felt like a naïve child, unsure what to expect. The other part of her was excited to see how it looked, to see if his bedroom exuded as much personality as Miranda's did. At the top of the stairs, Ian led Erin through a door on their left, and she hid a smile of anticipation as she closed the door behind them.

The room was smaller than hers, which she expected, the double bed taking up most of the space in front of her. Opposite the bed was a desk, a massive bookshelf standing next to it. There was a tv in the corner of the room, just left of the window, and to the right of the window was another shelf. This one was smaller, but longer, with a black and red CD player sat on top of it. There were some posters stuck to the walls, but not as many as Miranda's room. The closet space took up the entire wall behind Erin.

Ian sat down on his bed, immediately kicking off his shoes, one nearly hitting Erin as he launched it across the room with his foot. He beckoned her over, and she quickly joined him, perching on the end of his bed and clutching the black sheets in her hand. The room was cleaner than she expected it to be, given the well known stereotypes about teenage boy's rooms. The only clutter on the floor was a couple of pairs of shoes.

Ian gave Erin her can of coke before shuffling towards the headboard, propping one of the pillows up and resting against it. Erin remained at the end of the bed, opening her coke over her lap to avoid spilling any on the sheets.

"You can come up here you know," Ian said from the other end of the bed, drawing Erin's attention away from her coke. "The bed won't go all Nightmare on Elm Street on you."

Erin laughed. They'd watched the A Nightmare on Elm Street after school a few weeks ago, when Erin wanted to watch more horror movies after Halloween. It had become a regular thing for Erin, Ian and Miranda to watch horror movies after school together. She tentatively shuffled to the other end of the bed, keeping the coke steady in one hand until she was at the pillow end, placing the can on the nightstand and settling comfortably on Ian's left. The naïve, immature parts of herself began to stir nerves through her stomach again. She ignored it, reminding herself that she was sat on her friend's bed, who just happened to be a boy, which was completely different to sitting on a boy's bed.

They talked for a while, eventually moving on to the Playstation. Their conversation felt much more intimate than usual, even though they didn't touch on many personal topics. Erin wondered if it was the silence, as there was no background music, just the two of them talking and listening, or if it was because every personal conversation with Ian felt more intimate than it did with anyone else. Miranda was open book, and talked about her problems with brutal honesty. Ian was the opposite. Any time Erin got him to talk about something personal felt like an accomplishment, a sign that he was comfortable with her and trusted her more than most. It happened in small snatches, the more they spent time together. They'd been spending at least one afternoon a week together without Miranda after school since the beginning of the month, and very slowly he was beginning to open up.

Erin preferred talking to Ian about personal issues over Miranda. She was just as open as Miranda was, often venting about her parents to them, but something inside her felt intrinsically drawn to confiding in Ian. Miranda's life had been very different to Erin's, which from the outside seemed perfect. Ian understood that illusion more, having lived it himself. He also often made sarcastic jokes about her mother's hypocrisy, which always made her laugh when she was pissed off. Erin found his sense of humour hilarious. Whenever they talked, she longed for him to open up as she did, feeling them become closer every time they talked so personally. Slowly Erin could feel it happening, and each time they talked, she knew he was moving closer to trusting her as much as she trusted him.


	11. Chapter 11

Erin led the way towards the back of the bus, dropping herself in the seat beside the window as Ian sat down beside her. They were on their way to the mall to go Christmas shopping, changing from the school bus to the city bus at the stop one street over from Erin's house. They were both buying Christmas presents for Miranda, who was currently babysitting her neighbour's kids as she did every Monday afternoon, which is why Ian and Erin often spent Monday after school together without her. They usually used that time to do homework, redecorate Erin's room, or sometimes she would just let him tell her about whatever new topic he was reading about for hours on end. This time though, they were heading up to the mall.

"You must get some weird looks from the librarian," remarked Erin, as she watched Ian pull a book about serial killers from his bag and picked up reading it from where he left off at the end of lunch.

"Eh, I think she's used to it by now," Ian replied without looking up from his book. "I spent whatever time I wasn't at the park with Kel and Rand in that library when we first moved."

"So that's how you get away with borrowing books that clearly aren't meant to be read by 8th graders," Erin began, drawing out the 'that's' as the playful tone in her voice increased. "Sweet talking the librarian."

"What can I say? I must radiate emotional maturity," he replied, which made Erin laugh.

"Or old man, as Rand would put it," she teased, watching him shake his head and try not to smile in response.

"I still maintain that not being in denial about the state of the world does not make me an old man," he argued back, folding his book shut with a muted thud.

"Maybe not," she continued, leaning closer to him until their shoulders touched. She lowered her voice, until she was practically whispering in his ear. "But it can make you a bit of a moody bastard."

"Wow, I'm hurt," Ian replied with mock offence, while Erin tried not to snicker so loudly that she disrupted the quiet atmosphere from the bus. "I did not come out with you to have my character assassinated like this."

"You better get used to it," Erin fired back, her face hot from struggling to conceal laughter. "I've picked up all of you guys' bad habits."

"Watch out, you'll be shaking your fists at the sky next, and yelling at kids to stay off your lawn," Ian responded. Erin pulled her scarf away from her neck a little, feeling uncomfortably hot from laughing, and suddenly conscious of the eyes of the adults on the bus shifting in their direction.

"I'm so gonna draw a picture of you doing that," she said as she loosened the scarf around her neck, unzipping her coat to make the adjustments. Ian laughed.

"Now that I need to see," he replied, before ringing the bell as the bus approached the mall parking lot. They got off the bus and headed inside, making their way right to the store that sold CD's. Ian explained to Erin how he always got Miranda things she couldn't afford herself for Christmas and birthdays, usually CDs that were new out that year, or a movie that wasn't available pre-owned yet. He picked up the one she'd borrowed from him the most and bought it for her.

"I want to do the same," said Erin as they were leaving the store. "But not with CDs. She's been so great helping me reinvent my wardrobe, so I want to get her something she'll love."

"I know she's been after one of those thick chokers and hasn't been able to find one," Ian replied, narrowing his eyes as he tried to think of more potential ideas. "And she wants a ring for her nose."

"I can just imagine the look on my mom's face if she found that," said Erin, laughing at the thought of her mother's hysterical ranting if she looked through Erin's room and found a nose ring.

"Well now you have to buy her it," Ian responded, looking amused. "Leave it lying around, tell her it's yours."

"Do you want me to get grounded and not be able to hang out with you guys?" she questioned, only half kidding. She didn't think her mother would ground her over something so small, but she wouldn't put it past her.

"Well," Ian replied slowly, which caused Erin to smack his arm as he laughed.

"Fuck you," Erin exclaimed, her face reddening as she noticed the words catch the attention of some passersby, which made her want to shrink into the floor.

"I'm glad to hear you've ditched the whole not wanting to swear thing," Ian replied, smiling as Erin began to walk quickly in the opposite direction.

"It's pointless," she said, taking her scarf off. "You and Rand swear too much."

"Well it's good to know my corruption skills work," Ian responded as they stopped against a store window so Erin could put her scarf in her bag.

"Obviously. Like hello," Erin replied, motioning to her clothes. They both laughed before heading in the direction of the store that would sell the jewellery Miranda wanted. Ian had taken her in there the last time they'd been to the mall together, which was the only other time they'd been. Erin had almost exploded with desire to buy half the store.

She looked around, pulling out clothes she liked and thinking sadly about how she couldn't buy them all. She found what she was looking for; got the choker and nose ring ready, while looking at accessories she liked herself. While she paid, she watched Ian studying a thick leather wristband out of the corner of her eye.

"Sure you can't talk your parents into buying you all those clothes for Christmas," said Ian once they sat on a bench outside the store, while Erin still stared longingly through the store window.

"No," she sighed. "I think they're getting me a cell phone."

"That's still cool," replied Ian. He was currently the only one out of the three with a cell phone, which his mother gave to him before the start of the school year. It had been Kellan's old phone.

"I really want a pair of combat boots like Rand's," Erin continued, craning her neck just slightly so she could see the display of boots in the store. "My mom left a catalog out for me to pick clothes from, and I put a big red circle around this pair of awesome boots, but I don't think they'll buy them for me."

"Well Rand picked hers up from a thrift store, you might find a pair too," said Ian.

"Hopefully," sighed Erin, looking down at the off white sketchers she was wearing, clashing with her black sweater and red pants. "Because these bad boys are ruining my look."

Ian laughed as Erin raised her foot, studying her greying sketchers with a disgruntled expression. They were the only shoes she owned that were suitable for winter, as most of her shoes were pumps or sandals and the one pair of boots she owned had a platform so high she struggled to walk in them at the best of times, let alone around school all day. Plus, they were a particularly ugly shade of brown.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" asked Ian, braking Erin's lament of her lack of decent pairs of shoes. She looked up from her feet, noticing Ian glancing over at a food stand on the other side of the benches they were sat on.

"Sure," she agreed, able to smell the stand from where they were sat. They walked over and bought a pretzel each, eating them as they continued their way around the mall. They'd pretty much walked in a circle before Ian stopped outside a store selling crafts and home decorations.

"I'm gonna head into that store real quick," he said, pointing towards the entrance. "Just to get something for my mom. Do you feel ok waiting here?"

"I might go look in a store," Erin replied, trying not to smile as he handed her the perfect opportunity to enact the idea she'd been formulating in her head for the last ten minutes. "But I'll meet you back here." She glanced at the bench behind them.

"Ok," he agreed, nodding once. He started to head towards the store, but stopped suddenly.

"Do you remember my cell phone number?" he asked loudly as people walked between them. Erin rolled her eyes. Last time they'd come here together, he'd made sure she'd memorised his cell phone number in case they separated and she couldn't find him. She didn't think it would be necessary, but he was insistent.

"Yes," she replied, making a shooing motion with her hands. "Go." He gestured back before heading inside the store, and as soon as she could no longer see him Erin sped excitedly back to the store where she'd bought Miranda's Christmas present, buying the leather bracelet Ian had been looking at earlier. She shoved it in her school bag so he wouldn't see it as soon as she was out of the store.

By the time she began making her way back to the agreed meeting bench, Ian was already sat there. Erin tried to push down her satisfaction over her covert Christmas shopping, forcing her face into neutral as she approached him.

"You done?" she asked as she sat down.

"Pretty much," he replied. "Just got to get something for Kel now. But me and mom are coming back in a couple of days."

"Anyone else?" she asked playfully, leaning closer so he knew she was referring to herself. He shot her a pensive glance, humming loudly.

"Nah," he replied, smirking as she blinked at him, staring open mouthed in exaggerated shock.

"Asshole," she laughed, smacking him lightly on the arm. He laughed quietly to himself before rising off the bench.

"C'mon lets go back to your place," he said, adjusting his shopping bags in his hands so the handles didn't twist around his fingers. "It's Monday, CD change day. I want my CD back."

"And here's me thinking you wanted to hang out with me," Erin replied, standing up and preparing to leave. "but you just wanted your property back."

"Quick question," said Ian as they walked towards the exit.

"Shoot."

"I've got some old magazines with band posters in at my place, which we can decorate your room with," he began. Erin nodded along, wondering when the question would come.

"Which of the CD's you've borrowed from me did you like the most? I can see if I have any of their posters lying around."

"That's a great idea," said Erin, starting to list which ones she'd enjoyed the most as they left the mall.


	12. Chapter 12

Erin hissed in frustration as she managed to smudge her mascara under her eye for the third time. She grabbed a wipe to clean it. She was crammed against the sink in Miranda's en suite bathroom, trying to share the mirror space with her. She felt a sudden wave of envy towards Ian, who was sat out in Miranda's room minding his own business.

She put down the wipe, trying not to nudge Miranda and make her mess her make up too in the process. After a while she gave up trying to make her eye look perfect, and huffed back out into the bedroom, dropping down on the couch cushions spread on the floor, which is where she would be sleeping tonight.

It was New Years Eve, and Erin was about to sleep over at Miranda's for the first time. The one detail she'd neglected to tell her parents was that they were off to a party. The party of Kellan's band mate and best friend, Justin. She laughed as she remembered Miranda suggesting the idea, calling her landline and opening with 'Hey, do you want to do something devious?' as soon as her father had told Erin to come to the phone.

She laced up her boots, which were the boots she'd circled in that catalog and thought her parents weren't going to buy her. She'd been ecstatic when she opened them on Christmas morning. She glanced over at Ian, who'd been impressed when he first saw the boots, remarking on how convinced Erin had been that she wasn't going to get them. He put his book down and got up to change the CD while Miranda continued getting ready in the bathroom, before joining Erin on the couch cushions.

She noticed he was wearing the leather wristband she'd bought him for Christmas, and that this was also the first time she'd seen him out of his usual t shirt over longer sleeved shirt combo. He was wearing a black flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up over a grey t shirt, that for once didn't seem just a little too big for him.

"Are you nervous about tonight?" he asked quietly. He knew Erin wasn't comfortable with large groups of people, she'd told him as much at school.

"A little," she sighed, pulling her tights up her legs. She wanted to go just to see what it was like, but the thought of entering a house full of strangers set off a gnawing feeling in her stomach. She'd been trying to distract herself while getting ready, but it had only half worked.

"Try not to worry too much," Ian continued. "It won't be full of popular kids, it's mostly Kel's band mates and their friends, and a few people they know from outside of school." Erin nodded, trying to let the information calm her nerves. The other people were there to have fun and listen to Kellan's band play, not to judge her.

"And if it feels like too much, we can go," Ian reassured her. She shot him a warm smile by way of a thank you, before leaning over and grabbing her overnight bag. She pulled from it the black and red headband she'd liked at the mall, which Ian had obviously noted and then bought it for her when he went with his mom a few days after they'd been together. She'd been quietly impressed, if slightly annoyed because his method of Christmas-shopping-for-the-person-you-were-shopping-with-at-that-time had been sneakier. Especially since he'd also bought her a copy of the CD of his she'd liked the most too.

Miranda eventually emerged from the bathroom, fully made up and wearing her new nose ring. They talked about their Christmases until it was closer to leaving time, and then they headed out, starting to walk the eleven blocks distance to Justin's house. Erin found the chill in the air grounding as they walked, trying to push against the anxiety that was growing stronger inside her as they got closer. She knew that they weren't going to be there all night, as Miranda needed to be home when her mom finished her shift at three.

Erin could tell Miranda was nervous about Erin sleeping over. She'd tried to hide it, but had been giving Erin disclaimers all evening. She'd never met Miranda's mom before, and didn't know if she'd be coming in drunk, which Miranda knew that she probably would so she'd warned her in advance. Erin knew the thought of this embarrassed Miranda and wanted to reassure her, but she didn't know how.

They eventually arrived at Justin's house, and Erin's face and ears were numb from the cold as they made their way down the path to his front door. She panicked that this would make her seem strange and awkward when she met everyone, so she forced a smile on her face for practice as she followed Ian and Miranda into the house, immediately berating herself for conjuring up such a ridiculous thought and acting on it.

"Hey," squealed Miranda as soon as they located Kellan and Justin in the kitchen, running up to Justin and throwing her arms around him, before doing the same to Kellan. Erin watched her from the doorway, leaning firmly against it so she wasn't in anyone's way. She flinched when someone made contact with her arm, but relaxed when she saw that it was only Ian. He apologised for startling her, and then stood behind her.

"In case you hadn't guessed already," he began, leaning close and talking right into Erin's ear so she could hear him over the music. "Rand has a huge crush on Justin."

"Really?" Erin replied sarcastically, shooting Ian a look of feigned shock, before glancing back over at Miranda, who was leaning into Justin and beaming up at him as they talked. "I hadn't noticed." Ian laughed, before motioning for Erin to come with him.

He took her over to Justin, who was leaning against the counter beside Miranda and Kellan. He was half a head taller than Kel, with sandy brown hair that spiked into bleached blond tips. Erin began rehearsing introducing herself to him in her head as she followed Ian into the kitchen, trying to ignore how quickly her heart was racing. Meeting new people was so awkward and uncomfortable, even if that person knew her friends.

"Hi," she said as she stood in front of him, flashing him a smile. "I'm Erin."

"Justin," he said loudly, nodding once. "Kel told me you'd be coming tonight." Erin nodded, before looking over at Kellan, who was ruffling a rather unimpressed Ian's hair. Erin stifled a laugh as Ian shoved him away and he fell into Justin. "You looking forward to hearing us play?"

"Yeah," Erin replied, moving closer so she could hear Justin better. "I've heard Kel practicing at their house."

"Awesome," Justin replied, glancing at something behind him. "You want something to drink?" he picked up a can of Budweiser off the counter and held it up. Erin panicked.

"Just a coke please," she replied immediately, trying to smile as politely as she could, but unable to take her eyes off the beer. She'd never had an alcoholic drink in her life.

"I'll take that," Miranda chimed in, flashing Justin a playful smile as she stole the can from his hand.

"Not a drinker, huh," Justin continued as he grabbed a can of coke. Erin shook her head. Feeling the sudden urge to leave the kitchen and find a quieter part of the house. She took the coke and went back out in the hall, letting out a sigh of relief. Erin closed her eyes as she took the first sip of her drink, frustrated and embarrassed by how badly she handled being offered a drink. When she opened her eyes, Ian was stood opposite her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I wasn't expecting to be offered beer," she replied feebly, wincing at her own words.

"Well my naïve, sheltered friend," Ian began, crossing the hall so he was stood beside her rather than opposite. "You don't have to take it."

"I didn't, obviously," she replied, waving the coke can in his face.

"Good choice," he said, smiling slightly. "But maybe next time don't look so scared."

"That's easy for you to say," Erin fired back, her words frostier than she intended. Ian pursed his lips, and Erin took another sip of her drink to hide her regret.

"Do you want to go somewhere quiet?" he asked, clearly unbothered by her tone. She nodded, and followed him upstairs, where they sat in the hallway. Erin vented to Ian about how frustrating being so unexplainably uncomfortable around large groups was, even when she knew they weren't going to make fun of her. He told her in response, that his confidence was mostly a carefully constructed act, before smugly stating the exception of when he knew he was right. Erin hoped one day that she would be able to construct an image of confidence as well as Ian did.

They stayed talking upstairs until Kellan and Justin's band started playing at ten thirty, Ian periodically going downstairs to check on Miranda. They watched the band play, talked to Justin and some of the other guests, and then the three of them left just after midnight. Miranda was slightly drunk, but not too drunk to walk unaided, which Erin was thankful for.

By the time they were settled for the night, Erin's nerves had completely stilled. She'd had fun watching Kellan's band play, and had enjoyed some of the conversations she'd had at the party, even if she had leaned on Ian through most of them. Overall, she didn't regret going, and she could actually see herself working on being less socially awkward, now that she had friends to guide her through it.


	13. Chapter 13

The first month of the New Year started to feel like it was flying by. Three weeks of school had passed in what felt like one. Erin was enjoying how quickly the time passed, how school didn't drag and her bedroom was finally starting to look and feel like hers. Between all of the drawings and posters now up on the walls, the new red bed sheets she got for Christmas, and the personal touches that she was working on, she felt more in control of her life than she ever had. At least she did until the fourth week back at school when Ian wasn't there.

He'd texted her that morning to say that he wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be at school, and Erin immediately began to panic. She hadn't even thought about the prospect happening, she'd become so accustomed to the comfortable rhythm of him being there beside her that now she felt like she did on her first day all over again. She didn't know how she'd cope. He was the one that distracted her from their judgemental peers every day, who gave as good as he got when idiots threw insults at them. She sent a simple 'ok' back, but felt herself fighting off tears as she typed it.

The day ended up being exactly as awful as she imagined. She ignored all of the comments Kurt Dwyer and his stupid friends aimed at her, and even got some passive aggressive comments from some of the girls. She ate lunch in the library as burst into tears of relief as soon as she got back home. She hadn't cried because of school in months.

After three days, Erin was beginning to feel awful. She felt like she'd regressed back into who she was at her old school, which made her feel angry and useless. Wednesday afternoon, once Erin got home from school, she called Ian's cell phone. She'd texted him sporadically over the course of the last few days, and he usually answered hours later with short replies. But this time a text wasn't going to cut it, her entire body was so desperate to find out when he was coming back to school that her hands were trembling as she called. He answered, and to Erin's surprise, invited her over so he could explain, after ensuring her that he didn't have anything contagious.

She hopped on a bus, knowing that her parents wouldn't know she'd gone as her dad was out of town on business and her mom was working late. She wasn't worried about getting back home, as she knew Connie or Kellan would give her a ride. Erin knocked on the front door, a whole minute passing before Ian let her in.

"Hey," Erin said tentatively, shuffling through to the family room. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I guess," Ian replied flatly, the tone of his voice immediately registering to Erin as off.

"Good," she said, pursing her lips and clasping her hands together in front of her. "So what's wrong? Why have you been off sick?"

"Oh," he said, turning around to face Erin properly. "I've had headaches the last couple days." He paused, scratching his nose. "At least that's what the school thinks."

"So what is it?" Erin asked, again, confused by his response.

"Well the headache part is true," he explained, waving one arm as he spoke. "But it's not the reason I'm sick." Erin stared at him, still confused. Ian ran his hands through his hair before letting out a loud sigh.

"It's the anniversary of my dad's accident," he explained. Erin's mouth fell open.

"Oh," she stammered, suddenly feeling awful for wishing he'd come back to school so soon, for feeling frustrated that she'd been there alone. "Oh my god I'm so-"

"Don't be sorry," Ian interjected, cutting her off. "I didn't like the man at all." Erin stopped, still feeling incredibly uncomfortable. "But I just don't like being around people at this time. I get a little off."

"Are you feeling any better now?" she asked feebly, knowing the answer was likely no, but unable to come up with anything better.

"Maybe, I dunno," Ian answered unconvincingly. Erin studied him attentively, noticing how he hadn't gelled his hair, and the dark circles under his eyes.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Properly?" he replied, wincing as he thought. "Like, Thursday."

"And when was the last time you ate?"

"Like eight this morning," he answered, sounding resoundingly unbothered. A fierce determination burst through Erin's chest, the upset of seeing him like this replacing any guilt she had about her own issues.

"Its four thirty in the afternoon," she exclaimed, almost aggressively. "You need to eat something."

"I've had no appetite," he gave as weak justification. Erin shook her head, starting towards the kitchen.

"You're eating something," she practically ordered as she flew towards the pantry.

"Nice to see you've found your assertiveness," said Ian from the archway separating the kitchen and family room. Erin closed the pantry door and saw him leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest.

"Well I was forced to since you weren't at school," she said as she shoved a chocolate bar into his hand, before moving over to the fruit bowl. "Not that I did a good job of that."

"Was it bad?" he asked, grimacing.

"Horrific," Erin answered as she handed him an apple too. Staring him down until he took a bite of at least one of the things in his hands. "Although I did manage to tell Kurt Dwyer to fuck off and leave me alone when he wouldn't stop harassing me this morning."

"You did?" said Ian between bites of the apple. "I'm impressed. I almost wish I'd been there to see it."

"School has been hell without you there," Erin sighed.

"I'm sorry," he responded, lurching off the wall and stepping closer to Erin. "But hopefully now you can see that you're capable of standing up for yourself." A strange, almost painful sensation shot through Erin's chest at the compliment, a lump forming in her throat.

"You think so?" she said, her voice tight with emotion.

"I know so," Ian replied, cracking a small smile. "I just wish you did." Erin swallowed hard, blaming the state she'd been in for the last few days for being so emotional.

"Well I'm sure I'll get another chance," she responded, quickly moving the subject on. "Why does Kurt hate you anyway? Apart from the usual boring 'you're weird' thing." Ian grimaced.

"That's part of what I wanted to tell you when I invited you here," he admitted, drumming his fingers against his arm as he spoke. "Let's go to my room."

Erin followed him to his room where they sat on his bed, Ian on the right and Erin on the left. Ian took a few more bites of the apple before putting it down on the night stand and turning to face Erin.

"So," he said. "What do you know about my family, exactly?"

"Well," Erin replied, pausing as she tried to conjure all of the scarce information she had to memory. "I know that you have two brothers and you don't talk to the oldest one. I know your dad died in a car accident, and that he had a lot of money and business in the area, which your brother is going to inherit soon."

"My father didn't just have a lot of money," Ian stated, his voice now more severe. "He was a descendent of the family who founded this town. So not only did he have a lot of business in the area, he had ties in pretty much everything this town has. It was my grandpa's, and my father just worked for him, until he had a huge heart attack in 1994 and my dad inherited the business."

"Woah," Erin gasped.

"That didn't last long," Ian continued. "The power went to his head, more than was already there. He was already a pretty hard drinker, but then he got reckless. And then, not even two years after he inherited the one thing he'd had his eye on his whole life, he crashed his car driving drunk."

"I struggled with how I felt about it at the time." Ian looked away from Erin now as he spoke, and a part of her was glad for the break in the intensity so she could process what he was telling her. "I was sad but I didn't want to be sad, he was awful. He always favoured Roderick and ignored me and Kel, since Roderick's the oldest and would inherit the business. I was angry with myself for being upset, so I ignored how I felt about it." He paused. "It was hard to not feel guilty for being upset after what he did to my mom."

"Your mom?"

"Have you ever wondered how my mom got that scar on her cheek?" asked Ian, the tone of his voice darkening in a way that made Erin figure out the answer.

"No," she gasped, feeling another lump form in her throat as she thought of Ian's mom, who was so warm and kind, being subject to that kind of abuse.

"Yeah, that was him," said Ian, his voice breaking slightly as he did. "He was an aggressive drunk. And after he'd charmed my mom and she'd given him someone to inherit the business, her usefulness to him ended, so he turned violent."

"That's so awful," murmured Erin, still shocked.

"When he died," Ian continued. "We were thrown out of the house. He'd made sure mom got nothing. It didn't happen immediately, we had to meet with dad's lawyer about it. He also made mom agree not to mention the abuse she suffered to anyone, or expose any of his less that clean business dealings. The money he gave her is how she bought this house."

"So your mom took hush money?" Erin asked for clarification, her voice tentative.

"She just wanted out of there, and that money helped set us up." Ian paused, shifting into a more comfortable position. "Roderick hated everything about it. He idolized dad, and with nobody left to continue grooming him, he made life a living hell. He was a high school freshman when dad died, at some private prep school that dad's lawyer made sure the funds were in place to keep his tuition paid. When he was home he was awful. He spoke to mom like shit, blamed her for dad's accident. It got so bad that he and Kellan used to fight, like have actual fights."

"Oh my god," Erin blurted, trying to picture it. Ian let out a harsh laugh.

"No wonder I was always at the park or the library, huh," he said, his usual sarcasm lacing the words.

"But Roderick wasn't even the worst part about after dad died," he continued to explain. "The worst part was everyone knowing about it." Erin winced, unable to imagine anything worse.

"Me and Kel were put into public school, after being home schooled until that point. Because dad was so high profile, everyone knew about what had happened, and I've never hated anything more."

"I'm guessing that's where Kurt comes into this," Erin said softly.

"Yeah," Ian confirmed. "He used to pick on me. I tried to ignore him, most of the time." He let out another harsh laugh, shooting Erin a look of twisted amusement. "I hadn't quite developed enough social skills to stand up for myself at that point. But he tried something around the one year anniversary and I kicked the shit out of him."

"Woah," Erin said in surprise.

"Yeah," Ian said quietly. "The kids at school don't just look at me like I'm a freak because I dress like this. I got in a lot of trouble for fighting."

"How did you stop?" Erin asked gently.

"Well, I was sent to a therapist. Who helped me work out why I was acting out, and helped me learn to control myself better, but I still have blips. Also, having Rand at school helped, so I didn't get in as much trouble in sixth or seventh grade." Ian laughed again. "Funnily enough, until I met you at our lockers, I was wondering how the hell I was going to keep my shit together at school this year without Rand."

"It looks like we did a good job in meeting each other then," Erin replied, smiling widely. She'd felt so lucky she'd met him on that first day, wondering how she'd have coped if she hadn't. Knowing he was equally as lucky meeting her sent a spark of warmth in amongst the shock and sympathetic pain in her chest.

"Yeah, looks like we did," he repeated, giving Erin half a smile in return, before shifting into a sitting position. "But anyway, I always have a rough time around the anniversary, and I just thought it better to remove myself from any stress in order to get through it."

"I totally understand that," Erin replied softly. "Thank you for telling me."

"And I hope you know that knowing this doesn't make me see you any differently," she continued, making sure that he knew. She'd always known that whatever baggage he was keeping from her wouldn't affect how she saw him, and had wanted to let him know as soon as she saw that it was there. "If anything, it makes me feel closer to you since you obviously trust me enough to tell me, and I know that's no easy for you."

"I'd been wanting to tell you for a while," Ian admitted, leaning back against the headboard. "But I liked having someone around who didn't know, you know."

"Yeah, I get that," said Erin, reaching out and gently squeezing his arm in reassurance. Once the air was completely clear, they put on a movie, laying comfortably in the silence left by all that had been revealed, knowing their friendship was stronger for it.


	14. Chapter 14

"C'mon," said Erin as she headed upstairs towards her bedroom, turning back to see Ian and Miranda behind her. "I can't wait to show you what we've done with it."

"I can't wait to see it," Miranda replied, from the bottom of the stairs. "Since I haven't been to your house since like November." She flashed a half joking smile at Erin.

"Well you chose to take on more babysitting in the build up to Christmas," Erin fired back, hovering at the top of the stairs as everyone else caught up.

"Then what's your excuse for this month, bitch?" Miranda teased back, which Erin stuck her tongue out in response before they went into her room, which was now exactly the way she wanted it. The three of them had fallen into a steady routine of when and where they hung out. On Mondays, Ian and Erin hung out at Erin's house after school, as Miranda was babysitting and Kellan was able to pick Ian up before Erin's parents came home. On Thursday's, Friday's and Saturdays, they all hung out together at either Ian's or Miranda's house, with Ian's mom usually taking Erin home. Today they'd switched up the rules because Miranda was sleeping over at Erin's, so they were all hanging out there.

Miranda immediately threw herself on Erin's bed, sprawling out and commenting on the new red sheets. The room looked far less bare too, except for the bookshelf, which Erin had emptied of all her old kids' books.

"Have I ever told either of you how jealous I am that you both have double beds?" said Miranda as she stared up at the bedroom ceiling.

"Only every time you're in my room," replied Ian, who had sat down on the desk chair, spinning it in half circles with his foot.

"Yup," Erin added, pressing play on her CD player. Her little CD collection had grown from just the one CD Ian had bought her at Christmas, as she'd been able to find some on the list they gave her at the thrift store.

"You guys did a good job in here," Miranda commented as she sat up and studied the walls, attempting to tuck her feet on top of her knees. There were now posters and some of Erin's own sketches up on the walls near the door and above the desk. The only thing the room was missing was the odd little accessories Erin and Miranda had been buying and keeping at her place until she could bring them over. They were currently in one of the bags at the foot of the bed.

"Would have been nice if I could have helped," she continued, dramatising the words so she sounded almost hurt. "But you guys definitely did a good job. It actually feels like a person's room now, not a show room in a magazine."

"And it still doesn't even have the finishing touches," said Erin, pointing to Miranda's pile of overnight bags.

"You're right," she replied, springing up off the bed and diving in the bag. "I forgot about these." She pulled out a metal jewellery box, a metal frame with coat hangers along the bottom, meant for hanging on the back of doors, a small crystal ornament, candles, and a decorative black photo frame. Erin and Miranda put all of the ornaments in place, falling down on Erin's bed afterwards.

"Now your room officially has a soul," joked Miranda. Erin laughed, remembering her soulless box comment when she'd first seen it.

"That's not all it has," Ian added from the desk, casing Miranda to shift abruptly upright and shoot him a suspicious glare. Erin sat up too, watching Ian open the bottom drawer of her desk, revealing the stash of candy and chocolate they'd hidden under Erin's school work.

"Nice work," exclaimed Miranda, clambering off the bed and peering in the drawer. "But doesn't your mom like check your drawers and shit?"

"No," answered Erin, shrugging. "For someone so controlling she never goes through my stuff. I think she's put far too much trust in my own obedience."

"Okay, now you're starting to talk like Ian," Miranda responded.

"And that's a bad thing?" he said from beside her, raising his eyebrows.

"You're bad enough by yourself," Miranda argued back, pointing at him, before swinging her focus towards Erin sat on the bed. "I don't need two of you." Miranda turned around with the candy bar she'd grabbed from the drawer, when Ian threw Erin's eraser at her head.

She gasped loudly, dropping the chocolate bar on the floor. Erin stifled a wince, but sighed in relief when she realized that the bar hadn't been opened yet. Miranda grabbed the eraser from the corner of the room, when another one hit her square in the back. She straightened up, ready to throw the first eraser at a smirking Ian, when she spotted Erin giggling to herself on the bed.

"What are you laughing at?" she yelled, waving her arms around.

"Nothing," Erin replied, bursting into laughter again.

"Traitor," shouted Miranda.

"How?" Erin argued. "I've known him longer." This made Ian's expression grow even more smug.

"Oh I see how it is," Miranda replied, folding her arms like a child throwing a tantrum. "You two are ganging up on me now."

"Nobody is ganging up on anybody," said Erin, raising both arms in a display of innocence.

"Yeah right," snorted Miranda.

"Come on," said Erin, glancing back down at the chocolate bar on the floor. "Let's watch the movie until my parents get home." They all agreed, and settled down on Erin's bed as Miranda put the video she'd brought from home into Erin's VCR player.

Erin's parents arrived home within fifteen minutes of each other, around the time their movie finished. Ian's mom came to pick him up shortly after, exchanging passive aggressive pleasantries with Erin's mom. Erin's mom thought little of single parents, with often no consideration for the context of how they ended up that way. This made Erin almost boil over with rage, especially considering all that she now knew about Ian's family.

This anger lasted all through dinner, in which she was incredibly quiet, leaving Miranda to attempt to make conversation with her parents. She apologised afterwards, before they moved onto watching the first few episodes of Miranda's favourite show which she'd taped when they were re-run on TV. After four episodes, they changed into pj's and settled in Erin's bed.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had anyone sleep over at my house?" she said to Miranda as they lay in the dark.

"I assume a long time," she replied.

"So long that I don't actually remember," Erin admitted.

"It's the same for me too," Miranda added, a hesitant tone to her voice. "I don't usually let people sleep over, not even Ian. I don't want them to see my mom come in drunk in the middle of the night."

"You let me sleep over," Erin replied quietly, touched that Miranda had made an exception for her, an exception that hadn't even been made for her best friend. "And that went fine."

"That's because you slept through the night and didn't hear my mom come in," replied Miranda, laughing nervously.

"I was worried about letting you sleep over too," Erin confessed. "I didn't know how my mom was gonna behave."

"Parents," sighed Miranda, rolling onto her back. "Who needs 'em."

"Ian told me the full story about his parents," Erin admitted.

"Yeah he told me," said Miranda, her voice softer than usual. "I didn't expect him to tell you so soon."

"Well I kinda freaked out and called him after he didn't come to school for three days," Erin said, grimacing at her own social dependency.

"That still doesn't mean he would have told you," said Miranda, before pausing. "He clearly trusts you a lot." Warmth burst rapidly through Erin's chest. Both of her friends had let down their extremely high guards for her. It made her feel incredibly valued. "How come you freaked out?"

"He's so good at dealing with all the assholes that go there and I just can't," sighed Erin, the reminder of how much she needed to rely on them socially ruining the positive feeling she currently had.

"That's not what I heard," Miranda whispered playfully. Erin closed her eyes.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"That you cussed one of these assholes out," answered Miranda, sounding as proud as Ian had when she told him, but whispering.

"I was too exhausted to care," Erin explained, feeling it bad that it wasn't quite the badass moment they thought it was. "I'm not sure I'd be able to do it again."

"You will," Miranda said encouragingly. "We'll make sure of it." Erin smiled, doubtful it would happen, but grateful for the vote of confidence. "Plus Ian's kinda counting on getting to see you swear at that Kurt guy."

"That might just be too difficult an expectation for me to live up to," she replied dramatically, causing Miranda to laugh, smack her lightly, and scold her for putting herself down so much. They remained talking until Erin's mom told them to go to bed, and even then, lay whispering until they both fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Erin swearing at Kurt Dwyer became a running joke which Ian and Miranda mostly created to try and boost her confidence, but it ended up being a good source of banter, and an easy way to get Erin rolling her eyes in exasperation. The much joked about and anticipated situation hadn't happened yet, since school had been quiet, as most of the other students were distracted by Valentine's Day approaching. How much the girls cared about it perplexed Erin, who discussed how sad it was with Ian at lunch. He'd remarked that the whole dramatic charade was a comic strip in the making, which made Erin quietly laugh, excited to see what kind of satirical cartoon he'd create.

After lunch, when they were at their lockers getting ready for class and still criticizing how the school had gone mad over Valentine's day, the familiar drone of Kurt's obnoxious voice broke through the hum of voices passing through the hallways.

"Hey guys," he said loudly, referring to his two friends, who were always stood at his side. Ian and Erin both turned around, watching him stride across the hall towards them. "How come this freak can get a girl and I can't?"

"It might have something to do with your complete lack of a brain," Ian quickly replied, sounding utterly bored. While Erin felt her cheeks begin to burn at Kurt's insinuation that they were anything more than friends. "Although the fact you look like a hunk of meat shoved in a dirty sock can't help either."

"You think you're so fucking smart," Kurt retorted, scoffing as he spoke. "But you're just a scrawny little weirdo. Seriously guys, why haven't I got a date yet, but this asshole gets a cute girl."

"Maybe it's because you aren't mature enough for one," said Erin, shocked that the words were even able to leave her mouth. She was just so sick of him, so uncomfortable and angry that he wouldn't leave them alone.

"Maybe you should be my date," Kurt leered, turning his attention from Ian to her. Erin immediately wanted the ground to swallow her, repulsed by the way he looked her up and down. "You can do much better than him."

"You're not it," she fired back scathingly, hoping that it hid the panic rising in her chest, how fast her heart was beating. "Now fuck off and go bother someone else."

"Ooh feisty," laughed Kurt, stepping even closer. "You've really learned how talk back huh." He stopped inches away from her face, his friends no longer behind him. "But just because this little punkass may have taught you how to run your mouth, doesn't make you tough."

"Hey back off," warned Ian, his voice so stern that it startled Erin. She glanced quickly at him, noticing the anger in his eyes.

"Not so tough now are you?" Kurt teased, continuing to invade Erin's personal space.

"Seriously, back the hell off," she said, fighting the urge to cry as he continued to move closer, her anxiety in overdrive. This was different to his usual childish name calling, it was darker, more twisted.

"Nah," he said, the smug tone of his voice making Erin's skin crawl. "I don't think I will." He slipped his arm around her, making her tense up and wince, but before Erin could register what was happening Ian charged at him, sending him barrelling into the wall on the opposite side of the hall.

Erin gasped in horror as she watched Ian punch Kurt in the stomach, before Kurt landed a punch on Ian's face and they fell to the floor fighting. The students around them began forming a crowd, chanting the word fight over and over while Erin stayed paralyzed against the wall, unable to do anything. A teacher eventually found them and broke it up, carting both of them off to the principal's office.

Erin couldn't move. She couldn't even consider going to class in this state, so she managed to walk herself to the nurses office. She sat in there to calm down, eventually feeling ready to go to class, although she struggled to concentrate and hardly got any work done. She couldn't stop thinking about Ian. How much trouble he'd be in for fighting, how guilty she felt that he'd got in a fight on her behalf. She just about coasted through the rest of the day until she could meet Ian at the end of the day.

"Guess who got detention," he said when he approached Erin, who was stood at their usual waiting spot.

"Oh my god, your face," gasped Erin as soon as she saw the black eye, split lip and the cut on his forehead. She immediately reached out and touched his cheek, which made him wince.

"Sorry," she offered weakly, almost in tears as she assessed the damage further.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, flashing a half smile as they started to walk. "It's been worse."

"You didn't need to do that for me," she sighed, the guilt that had been eating at her all afternoon flooding back.

"I wasn't letting him get away with doing that to you," Ian replied defensively, almost angrily. She saw the expression on his face shift as he thought about what had happened.

"But you'd been doing so well at staying out of trouble," Erin replied, making sure she was quiet. Her whole chest felt heavy, guilt churning and weighing her down and tightening her lungs. She swallowed a lump in her throat, trying to push away thoughts of the fight.

"Some things are worth getting in trouble for," Ian replied, assessing the grazes on his knuckles. "I refuse to tolerate bullshit."

"Thank you," Erin responded, her voice tight from the tears brimming in her eyes. Ian smiled at her, moving the conversation onto what happened while he was in the principal's office for the rest of the walk home, giving Erin a chance to calm her emotions. Once they got back to his house, Erin insisted on putting an ice pack on Ian's face. Miranda found them sat on the couch holding the ice pack in place when she walked through the door.

"What the hell happened?" she exclaimed, dropping her bag on the floor and speeding over to the couch.

"I got detention," Ian answered, wincing as Erin dabbed the ice pack against his eye.

"He got into a fight with Kurt Dwyer," Erin explained, swapping the ice pack into her other hand and shooting Miranda an apologetic look, since the fight was somewhat her fault.

"Shit," she hissed, leaning closer to assess the damage. "What'd he do?"

"He touched Erin," Ian answered, the seriousness of his voice telling Miranda that it was more than just a simple touch. She nodded.

"Did you get in much trouble?" she asked.

"Detention tomorrow," Ian answered, hissing as he touched one of his knuckles. "But because my record has been clean for a while, it didn't amount to anything worse."

"Good," said Miranda, suddenly smiling. "How badly did you hurt that piece of shit?"

"Bad enough," Ian replied, laughing slightly. Erin dropped the ice pack, slightly horrified by how happy Miranda seemed about the fight, and how little Ian cared about it, even if a part of her had to admit it was satisfying to see Kurt finally suffer some consequences for being such an asshole. But that part made Erin feel even guiltier. She was quiet the rest of the time Miranda was over, and was even quiet through dinner. After Ian and his mom had talked privately downstairs about the fight, he went up to his room where Erin was waiting, curled up on his bed.

"I scared you today, didn't I?" he said softly as he walked in the room, looking down at Erin. She didn't meet his eyes as she sat up, making space for him beside her on the bed.

"A little," she confessed, her voice quiet as she tugged her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her head on her knees. Ian shot her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry," he said, pausing as the expression on his face grew more severe. "But people don't get away with doing stuff like that to people I care about."

"I just wish it hadn't had to come to that," Erin sighed, pushing her chest harder against her legs, enjoying the comforting pressure. She was exhausted from the emotions storming through her all afternoon, tiredness heavy in her voice.

"I know," Ian said softly. "But I'd do it again without hesitating, you know that, right?"

"Yes," Erin replied, his words making her guilt flare. "Doesn't mean I have to like it." He laughed harshly, Erin silently begrudging how the action made her smile.

"I don't want you getting hurt because of me again," she stated, meeting his eyes so he could see how much looking at his bruised face upset her. The thought of it happening again made her chest ache and tears sting her eyes.

"Hopefully I won't," replied Ian. "But if he doesn't that again, I will hit him again." Erin tried to smile, grateful that he was willing to stand up for her no matter the personal cost to him, but instead she began crying, all of the emotions over the course of the day becoming too much.

"It's not your fault," Ian murmured as he tucked Erin against his side, wrapping an arm around her. "It's his for being a fucking asshole." She didn't say anything, just leaned into his shirt and cried, the heavy feeling in her chest finally shattering.

"And hey," Ian continued, switching to a more positive tone. "I finally got to see you tell him to fuck off." Erin couldn't help but laugh, despite how inappropriate it felt. She sat upright, wiping her face as she shot Ian a look of disapproval, who looked satisfied that his attempt to get her to laugh had worked.

"That's so not funny anymore," she said as she wiped her face. Ian shrugged. Erin then apologized for crying, to which Ian told her not to be ridiculous considering the amount of times he'd dealt with Miranda crying. She leaned back into him, tucking herself into his side and pressing her face into the fabric of his shirt. She was so tired that she could have fallen asleep there, desperate for the whole day to be over.


	16. Chapter 16

Erin laughed as she watched Miranda throw a Jolly Rancher candy in the air and catch it in her mouth, yelling victoriously as she sucked the vibrant blue cube. She slouched further, the solid bars at the top of the skate ramp digging into her back. They were in the park where Ian and Miranda first met, and had been hanging out there since the weather got better in April. It was now the start of their summer vacation.

The last few months of eighth grade had flown by, and Erin was excited to start high school, where their little group would finally be all together. She'd worked hard on her confidence when it came to standing up for herself, earning herself a reputation of being snappy and bitchy, which she had to admit that she rather liked. It was so much better than being the quiet kid that let everyone walk all over her, and it meant that people left her alone mostly, which made the anxiety she was trying to hide seem less obvious to everyone around her.

"Please let me see this new bad ass, bitchy Erin for myself when you come to McKinley high please," said Miranda after she'd swallowed her candy, dramatically raising the pitch of her voice until she sounded like a pleading child. They'd told Miranda about her new reputation at school, which she'd been very pleased to hear.

"It really is great to watch," added Ian after sipping from a can of coke. "I told her she could do it. Which of course means that I'm taking full credit for this new development."

"I don't think so," Erin replied, stealing some candy from the bag between them. "If I remember correctly, I started standing up for myself when you _weren't_ at school."

"But it was the lack of my presence that triggered the change," Ian argued, smiling slightly as he considered the expression on Erin's face. "So technically I did have something to do with it."

"Asshole," Erin said playfully, shaking her head at his satisfied smirk before taking more candy from the bag they were sharing, taking a piece that she knew Ian had his eye on.

"I wanted that one," he exclaimed when he saw her pick it up.

"Oops," she said sarcastically before popping it in her mouth. "That's what you get for taking credit for my personal accomplishments."

"I'll find another one to take credit for," he replied, smiling slightly. "We've managed to turn you into quite the deviant."

Erin laughed, shaking her head but considering the truth in his statement. Since befriending Ian and Miranda, Erin had changed her entire look, started swearing, wearing make-up, hiding things from her parents and lying about where she was. Even today, her parents didn't know that Ian was also going to be at the sleepover at Miranda's house, the three of them on Miranda's living room floor.

"If my mom knew half of the stuff we get up to," she sighed happily, still half laughing. She looked at the candy surrounding them at the top of the ramp. That alone would probably result in an hour long argument about the dangers of sugar.

"You'd be grounded indefinitely," Ian finished for her. She nodded in agreement. She'd only just finished being grounded during all of finals season, after swearing at her mom. It was initially for a week, but them her mom extended it on a whim after a bad week at the office, claiming that she didn't want her friends being a bad influence and bringing down her grades. She'd spat the word 'friends' like it was poison. Little did her mom know that Ian was half the reason her grades had risen this year.

"Yup," Erin said, popping the P and grabbing more candy.

"Although I'm not sure what grounding you accomplishes when your parents work all the time," Miranda added from Erin's right.

"They didn't do too great a job this time," Ian stated, which made Erin grin at the memories.

"Mom called the landline every half hour, put my cell phone in a lock box, and hid my CD players, both plug in and portable" Erin explained, which made Miranda wince. "But they had no way of knowing if someone came over." She looked over at Ian.

"Apparently they missed installing CCTV in the house on the list of ways to make sure Erin followed the rules of being grounded," he added, looking as smug as Erin felt.

"You little shits," said Miranda, laughing before sighing. "I wish I could afford the bus to your place more often, then I could join in with this rebellion."

Erin nodded and laughed, but something in her chest felt tight and uncomfortable. She liked having time that was just for her and Ian that wasn't school. Even just being the two of them at school was about to end. She wanted to protect that time, guard it, with an intensity that was strange and made Erin's cheeks slightly hot. She shook the feeling away, thinking it a slight overreaction.

"I'm sure you'll get enough rebellion action when we come up to high school," said Ian, feigning sympathy to Miranda's dramatics.

"Yeah," Miranda replied enthusiastically, a thought clearly springing to mind. "We can fight assholes together, like some badass squad from those comics you read." Ian rolled his eyes at Miranda's subtle nerd dig, Erin laughing stuck in the middle.

"I wonder if they'll run out of jokes about us being a couple now that I'm not the only girl you hang out with," mused Miranda. Ian let out a harsh laugh, but the tight discomfort that had settled in Erin's chest a few moments ago exploded through her entire body.

"People used to say that?" asked Erin, her voice tighter that she'd expected. She wasn't entirely sure why she was surprised; jokes were made about Ian and her all the time at school. Kids couldn't handle the idea of boys and girls being just friends, but something about the same joke being made with Ian and Miranda felt off to Erin. She didn't like it.

"All the time," Miranda answered, dragging out each word to exaggerate her annoyance with it. "I feel like I said 'he's like my little brother' so many times that I should have got a sign made."

"You'd think they'd think up something a little more creative," Ian added, clearly as unimpressed with the jokes as Miranda had been. "But I guess they'd need brains for that." Erin laughed awkwardly and almost snorted, her face burning from potential embarrassment.

"Do you guys get it too?" asked Miranda.

"Yup," answered Ian.

"So annoying," added Erin, rolling her eyes. Although something inside her felt a little guilty. She did find the jokes annoying and invasive. They always made her feel embarrassed, like the assholes had a microscope held up to her, inspecting her insides. She sometimes questioned if they could sense how at ease Erin was with Ian, how much she trusted and relied on him, but in reality it was clear that it was purely because she was a girl and he was a boy.

The afternoon melted into evening, and eventually they went back to Miranda's house for dinner. Miranda made them hot dogs, and afterwards they ate their leftover candy while having a movie marathon. Erin tried to relax, to lose herself completely in being with her friends, but the strange feeling from earlier wouldn't leave her. She couldn't stop thinking about her reaction, wondering why she felt so strange. Maybe she was struggling to see anyone seeing Ian and Miranda that way. Maybe it just reminded her once more that while Ian was her friend, he was also a boy.

Erin felt too aware of herself, overly conscious of the space she occupied. They'd joked even more about the possible rumours that could be made up about the three of them, some of them crasser than Erin had expected. Miranda had joked about her being naïve and sheltered when she'd noticed her blushing. It was the first time she'd felt like a young woman rather than a girl, and she wondered if the rest of that journey would be as uncomfortable as this. The question sat with her like a stick poking into her back until she eventually fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

The sound of Erin's landline ringing broke her concentration as she sketched at the dining room table. She immediately put her pen down and sketchbook down on the table before running over and grabbing the phone, holding the phone up to her ear.

"Hey, are you alone?" came Miranda's voice from the other end.

"Yeah, why?" replied Erin, confused why Miranda would ask since she knew that both of Erin's parents worked all the time.

"Can you get the bus down to my place and help me dye my hair?" Erin smiled.

"So you're doing it then?" she replied. Miranda had been talking about putting red highlights in her dark hair all summer. Erin knew she had to do the job at home, since she couldn't afford to get it done at a hair salon, and that she would probably be roped into helping her. She hadn't expected her to do it this soon though. Erin had only just got back from vacation with her parents two days before.

"Hell yeah," Miranda answered loudly. "I even waited until you were back from vacation." Erin laughed silently over the fact she actually waited for her. "How was California, by the way?"

"Hot," Erin responded. "You know, you guys didn't warn me about how uncomfortable dressing like this is during the summer."

"Well if we told you the bad parts, would you have done it?" said Miranda, laughing slightly.

"Yes," answered Erin loudly.

"Well then stop complaining," Miranda ordered playfully, making Erin laugh again. "And wear more red next time."

"Thanks for the tip," she said, still smiling as she prepared to put the phone down. "I'll be over as soon as I can."

"See you soon," said Miranda.

"Bye." Erin put the phone down before cleaning up her stuff and getting a bag to put her things in. She shoved her keys, purse and portable CD player into the khaki canvas bag she'd been using all summer, checking that she hadn't left anything lying around before she left.

The bus ride to Ian and Miranda's neighbourhood was around twenty minutes, so Erin sat down near the front listening to her music. She hated using the bus by herself, but hated being without her friends even more, so she put up with the discomfort of the eyes of all the other passengers on her until she got to her stop.

The walk from the bus stop to Miranda's house was only a few minutes, Erin walking straight in through the unlocked front door. Miranda only kept the front door unlocked when she knew people were coming over, same with Ian. Since Kellan was constantly in and out with his band mates and Miranda was over all the time, the McKinley's front door often didn't get locked again until Ian's mom came home from work.

"Okay," Came Miranda's loud voice from somewhere on the stairs. She must have heard Erin come in, and was barrelling down towards her so excitedly that the sound of her footsteps seemed to make the whole room feel unsteady. "So I have everything set up in my bathroom." She continued as she emerged at the bottom of the stairs. She had a ratty towel stained with dark streaks slung around her shoulders. "I just need you to rub the dye into my hair in streaks."

"Um Rand?" said Erin hesitantly, realizing the state that rubbing dye into Miranda's hair would leave her hands in.

"Yeah."

"What about my hands?" Erin asked, holding them up in front of her. "I think my mom will be more than pissed if I come home looking like I murdered somebody."

"Relax," sighed Miranda, like Erin was being too dramatic. "I've got gloves." She pulled a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves from her back pocket and threw them at Erin, who caught one. "I'm not spending the rest of summer with you grounded and Ian getting to see you more than me."

"You could walk to my house, you know?" Erin replied as she bent down to pick up the other glove.

"Fuck that," Miranda exclaimed loudly. "Now let's go dye my hair." Erin trailed behind Miranda as they went up to her bedroom.

They got settled in Miranda's bathroom, where she'd prepared the boxed dye and the lightening serum in old take out containers that sat in the sink. Erin insisted on putting a pair of Miranda's pants on over her skirt so she didn't get any of the dye on her legs. Miranda called her paranoid and made jokes about the movie Carrie, which made Erin laugh, until Miranda almost knocked the dye container over, proving her concerns reasonable.

As Erin rubbed the lightening serum into streaks of Miranda's hair, they both heard the front door open downstairs. Erin initially startled, but Miranda didn't seem too worried. Erin then relaxed when Ian emerged in Miranda's bedroom doorway with a book tucked under his arm.

"Hey," he said as he wandered into the room, putting his book down on Miranda's bed before moving towards the bathroom. "Nice gloves Erin." She giggled in response, waving with the hand that wasn't holding onto Miranda's hair.

"Also," Ian continued, narrowing his eyes at Erin and Miranda. "Are those Rand's pants?"

"I didn't want to get the dye on my legs," Erin answered, feeling her cheeks redden. The pants were baggy on Miranda, who they actually fit. Erin was struggling to keep them up. She flashed Ian an embarrassed smile as he laughed to himself.

"Now can you stop distracting Erin and go sit in a corner or something so she can finish my hair," added Miranda, rather loudly. Erin let go of the strands of hair she'd been limply holding since Ian walked in the room, suddenly feeling much more embarrassed. She wanted to argue that he hadn't distracted her, but he had. She'd been trying to get a look at the spine of the book he'd brought with him to see what it was, and had observed the way his hair was falling into his eyes since he hadn't gelled it. She busied herself with applying more serum to Miranda's hair.

Ian went and sat on Miranda's bed to read, and Erin quickly finished applying the serum, and then layers of tin foil to Miranda's hair. Once they were done Erin went and sat next to Ian while Miranda waited for the serum to set in her hair.

Erin told Ian and Miranda about her vacation to visit her aunt while they waited until they could apply the dye. It had been the first time she'd seen them in two weeks, and was glad to be around them again. She'd missed the banter, and being around people her own age. Her aunt didn't have any children, so she'd mostly been tucked away alone in a corner drawing while the adults talked. It was nice to feel actively included again, especially since her mom had insisted she leave her cell phone back in Pennsylvania.

After everyone had finished talking about the last two weeks, Erin applied the red dye to the now lightened patches in Miranda's hair. She wrapped them up in new tin foil, happily pulling off the rubber gloves and the too loose pants once they were no longer needed.

"Maybe we should all do something to our hair," said Miranda as she sat down backwards on her desk chair, so her chest was pressed against the back of it. "You know, to celebrate being at high school together."

"I need to cut mine," Ian said in response, wrapping one of the wavy black strands framing his forehead around his finger. "It's almost in my eyes." Erin watched as he let go of the strand.

"And I think my mom would literally kill me if I dyed mine," she added, gripping the ends of her copper hair and twirling them around her finger, the way Ian had done.

"I never said it had to be dye," countered Miranda. "What about a haircut?"

"I like it long," Erin answered quietly.

"Then what about full bangs," Miranda suggested. "I feel like they'd look much more." She paused, pursing her lips in consideration. "Mature than side bangs."

"Maybe," Erin sighed, sweeping her bangs across her forehead to see what it would feel like.

"What do you think Ian?" asked Miranda, causing Ian to look up from where he was chipping at the black paint on his nails. "Do you think Erin would look good with full bangs?" Erin's face suddenly felt hot.

"Um, yeah," he said quietly, looking at Erin as she dropped her hands away from her face. "I think you'd look good with full bangs."

"Thanks," she replied with a shy smile, trying to figure out why she felt so uncomfortable. She felt like Miranda had shined a spotlight on her, despite how comfortable she was with both of them. "But there's no way she wouldn't kill me if I got them without her knowing."

"Okay," said Miranda, rolling her eyes slightly at Erin's mom's ridiculousness. "What about a smaller change." Miranda looked at her desk. "How about you finally paint your nails." Erin blinked in response.

"C'mon," Miranda continued, dragging her words. "Three weeks from now, you're gonna be a high schooler. All high school girls wear nail polish, your mom must know that."

"I guess," said Erin quietly.

"Here," Miranda warned before throwing a bottle of black nail polish onto the bed, which landed right in front of Erin. "Try it. And if she grounds you and makes you take it off, you've still got a few weeks of summer left."

Erin smiled up at Miranda before opening the bottle and starting to paint the nails on her left hand. After finishing, she switched hands, immediately missing half the nail of her pinky finger and covering her skin in nail polish.

"Shit," she hissed, examining the state of her hand.

"Here, let me do that hand," said Ian, taking the brush out of her hand and grabbing the bottle from where it rested against her leg. She startled backwards as he leant over her lap, her cheeks reddening again when his hand brushed the end of her skirt to pick up the tiny bottle of nail polish.

"It's always messy when you aren't using your dominant hand," he explained, re-coating the brush in nail polish before taking Erin's hand.

Erin watched as he painted each of her nails, surprised by how soft his hands were. She met his eyes once, as he missed her nail slightly and wiped the polish off her finger with his t shirt, but her cheeks felt so red that she was unable to look at him again afterwards. She figured that she was embarrassed that she'd messed up painting her nails so badly the first time she'd ever done it, that he felt the need to take over. She felt like a disaster.

"Thanks," she said quietly once he'd finished, still unable to look at him.

"There," he replied, gently letting go of her hand. "Now you're ready to be a high schooler."

"Like it's that easy," she laughed, shaking her hands like she'd seen Ian and Miranda do after painting theirs. She looked up at Miranda, who was smiling to herself, stopping immediately and almost flinching when she saw Erin noticing. Erin noted the weirdness but moved on, thinking she was probably just excited about them all being at high school together.


	18. Chapter 18

Erin stood in front of her bedroom mirror, thinking about the crippling anxiety pulsing through her body this time last year. She was still nervous, but it felt different this time. She would no longer be starting a new school as a stranger. She had people she knew ready to welcome her. Making new friends was no longer a concern. She zipped up the black hoodie she'd thrown on, checked her make up in the mirror one last time, and then went downstairs for breakfast.

She greeted her parents politely. There had been a big argument after Erin went home from Miranda's with her nails painted, which only escalated when she pointed out to her mom that all of the other girls wore make up, so why couldn't she? She'd almost ended up grounded for a week, but her dad took her side, so she'd been wearing make up every day since, enjoying her reluctantly granted permission.

She ate, got the bus, and immediately found Ian, Kellan, Justin and Miranda outside the school building. It was nice, immediately having a group of people waiting for her on her first day of high school. She wasn't a total stranger, wasn't alone, even if Kellan and Justin's over exaggerated horror stories were working on her just a little bit. For the first time, she immediately felt like she had a place in the world. She watched Kellan and Justin gloat about being seniors, Miranda playfully smacking Justin's arm, talked to Ian about his expectations for their first day, and felt more assured than she ever has as she walked through the doors to McKinley high school for the first time.

* * *

Erin settled into high school relatively well. The size of the building and the increase in students was a little overwhelming for her, but she had friends to hide behind and rely on, which made it easier to cope. She was enjoying her classes, and she was eating lunch outside with Ian and Miranda every day, which allowed her plenty of drawing time.

Currently, she and Ian were sat back to back on one of the courtyard benches, both drawing. Erin was drawing one of the school buildings, detailing the brickwork. She didn't know what Ian was drawing, but intended on looking over his shoulder and peeking.

"I need new friends," Miranda sighed dramatically, eating from a bag of potato chips.

"What?" questioned Ian, not looking up from his notebook.

"You two are just sat there drawing," she explained. "There has been no conversation for like ten minutes."

"Wow, that must be a new record for you," teased Ian, moving out of the way as Miranda leaned forwards to smack his arm.

"Hey!" exclaimed Erin as she fell backwards since she'd been resting against Ian as she drew.

"Whoa, are you okay?" asked Ian, catching Erin with his arm as she went backwards. He looked and sounded concerned, clearly worried that she'd hurt herself.

"Apart from the fact you just scared the shit out of me, yeah," Erin replied, touching her chest as she tried to steady her heartbeat. She closed her notebook and put it down on the table, moving so she was no longer back to back with Ian.

"I'm sorry, blame Rand," he replied, making Erin laugh.

"Rude," Miranda added loudly.

"You tried to hit me," Ian argued. Miranda shrugged and waved her hand dismissively, emitting a weak grunt of guilt. Now that the moment had moved on, Ian had returned to drawing. Erin looked over to try and see what he was drawing, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Hey, no watching," he said, somewhat unconvincingly, his annoyance completely feigned. Erin laughed, looking down at his drawing of the trees surrounding the sports fields grabbing the students off the field and eating them.

"Well you almost sent me backwards, I think I've earned the right to watch," she replied, pressing more weight against him. Erin wasn't sure exactly when they became so physically comfortable with each other, but they had. She no longer felt nervous about asking if he was comfortable with her hugging him, in fact they often ended up touching without even realising; sitting shoulder to shoulder, leaning on each other. It made Erin feel comfortable, happy, glad that they'd formed such a close friendship.

"Alright," he sighed, relenting and allowing her to lean on his shoulder and watch him sketch.

"Hey Erin," said Miranda, breaking a short silence. "Do you wanna have a sleepover at your place soon?"

"Sure," she agreed, surprised by the unexpected question, but happy nonetheless.

* * *

"It's nice to have some girl time, just the two of us, isn't it?" said Miranda as they sat in Erin's bed with a bowl of salted popcorn. It was nothing like the popcorn they'd had at the movies the week before the first day back to school when they'd gone to watch _The Others_, but it was all Erin's mom would allow them. Kellan worked at the movie theatre, so he'd added extras to their popcorn without charging.

"Yeah," Erin replied, struggling to remember the last time that the two of them spent any length of time together alone. "Is that why you wanted to come over?"

"Kinda," she sighed. "You guys hung out without me a lot while you were at school together last year and it shows, so I wanted to spend some time with you one on one." Erin's face immediately went red.

"What do you mean, it shows?" she asked, trying and failing to let her voice remain nonchalant.

"It's nothing bad," Miranda reassured Erin. "I've just been feeling like a third wheel at times."

"Sorry," Erin apologised, unsure if the discomfort in her system was embarrassment or guilt.

They talked for a little while about school and other ways to hang out and not make Miranda feel like a third wheel, and agreed to spend more solo time together. They barely paid any attention to the movie they'd put in Erin's VCR, deciding to watch it again in the morning.

"Erin," said Miranda tentatively, a few seconds after their last conversation had ended

"Yeah," Erin replied, concerned a little by the hesitance in Miranda's voice.

"Have you ever had a crush before?" It wasn't what Erin was expecting, and she blinked in surprise.

"Um, I don't know," she confessed, feeling her chest heat up and tighten. She couldn't recall any crushes. She'd thought classmates were cute in the past, did that count? "Little ones maybe, but I knew they were never going to go anywhere so I gave up on them."

"So you've never had a huge, serious crush?" asked Miranda, the hesitance returning to her voice, like she was leading to something important.

"Is this about you and Justin?" Asked Erin. Miranda had never talked to Erin alone about Justin, Ian had always been with them. Maybe this was something she didn't feel comfortable telling him.

"You got me," admitted Miranda, laughing awkwardly. "It's about me and Justin."

"How the hell would I be any help?" argued Erin, reminding Miranda of her complete lack of relationship experience and social anxiety.

"I just wanted to vent," she answered.

"Ok," Erin replied. A few seconds of silence passed.

"I don't know where to start," giggled Miranda, shoving her face into her pillow.

"Start at the beginning," advised Erin, laughing at her theatrics. "When did you first realize you had a crush on him?"

She told Erin about how she met Justin for the first time at the McKinley's house, and fell in love with his guitar playing. She'd always wanted to learn, but knew she'd have to save up and luck out to even get one second hand. He taught her a few basic chords, they playfully jabbed at Kellan together, and it formed from there. She didn't think anything would happen between them, but she couldn't help how her head turned to mush around him.

"Erin," said Miranda after taking a long pause. "How do you think you would feel if you did have a big crush on someone?" The question felt odd, and made her feel uncomfortable and exposed, but it was relevant, so she didn't challenge it.

"Um," she said, trying to picture it. "I guess I'd want to be around them all the time, and I'd want to feel super safe and comfortable with them." She thought of more feelings, imaginary moments. "And I'd probably giggle like an idiot over all of their jokes, even the ones that aren't funny, and I'd probably blush like crazy every time they looked at me and feel…" She stopped.

"Feel what?" prompted Miranda.

"Feel completely different with them than I do with anyone else," she finished, her voice starting to break. Midway through her answer, the imaginary scenarios she'd been conjuring to aid her response stopped becoming imaginary, morphing into memories, with one person in particular. Erin had experienced an intense, serious crush before, and she was experiencing it right now. That was why she felt either completely self conscious or more comfortable than she'd ever been in her life with him, why she felt defensive about Miranda noticing how much time they spent together, why she was so eager for him to open up and trust her. She had a crush, and had for a while, on the boy she met on her first day of eighth grade.


	19. Chapter 19

It took Erin a few days to shake the shock of her revelation. She hadn't told Miranda, as much as she wanted to after having a few days to process. She wanted someone to talk to about this, but she didn't want Miranda to say anything, in case it ruined their friendship. She knew right away that she wouldn't be able to cope if her crush ruined that.

It made Monday awkward. She'd shut herself in her room after Miranda left Saturday afternoon, and didn't come out except for meals and to shower. Her parents didn't bother to check on her, and she was glad they didn't, because she knew that she couldn't talk about this with them. She'd spent Sunday night in a panicked state, imagining situations where it accidentally came out and ruined everything. She tried to play it cool at school, but Ian figured out something was bothering her right away. The good thing was, he'd never force her to tell him something she wasn't ready to tell, so she could get away with being secretive until she figured out how to get her act together.

She drew all of lunch, not wanting to look at Ian. It only then occurred to her just how much she was constantly looking at him, studying the way his hair framed his face, the details of his arms when he rolled up his sleeves. How much she thought about drawing him. She was surprised she hadn't noticed sooner. It had been staring her in the face this whole time.

The rest of the day felt less uncomfortable since she had her classes to focus on, until the end of the day. When she and Ian came out of their English class, he followed her to the bus. _Shit_, Erin thought to herself as she realized. It was Monday. He always came over to her place after school on a Monday because Miranda was babysitting. She tried not to show she'd forgotten, but she didn't think he bought it. When they sat down next to each other on the bus, she became overly aware of their legs touching.

"Hey, what's up with you?" he asked once they were at her house, kicking off their shoes and heading into the living room. "You don't have to tell me, but you've been acting weird all day."

"I didn't get much sleep," Erin sighed, thankful that she had an honest excuse to fall back on. She hadn't slept, because she'd been panicking about giving herself away at school. She glanced at her flushed face in the living room mirror. "I'm thinking about asking my mom about letting me restyle my bangs."

"And you're worried about how she'll react," Ian replied, already sat on the couch. Erin stayed standing, pushing her bangs over her forehead while focussing on her reflection.

"Yeah," said Erin, finally giving up and dropping beside Ian on the couch. "It's not like I could do it behind her back and have her not find out."

"So you definitely want to do it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Erin nodded, trying not to look at his face for too long.

"I think so, yeah," she answered, tucking her legs up beside her. She stared down at her socks, feeling like every glance at Ian was too long and telling. Despite how exposed and uncomfortable she felt around him right now, she still felt drawn to him. At least she understood the pull he held over her a little more now.

"Do you think I should?" she asked tentatively, unable to help herself, immediately regretting the words leaving her mouth.

"I think," Ian began, drawing out the words. "That my opinion on that doesn't matter. If you want it, go for it." Erin's chest felt warm as she made brief eye contact. "If you're allowed, that is."

Erin laughed at the teasing, unable to stop herself from watching the smile that formed on his face. She felt her own begin to mirror it, her cheeks reddening as she continued to watch him laugh to himself.

"You are no help," she fired back, keeping her tone playful.

"But the fact that you're so worried about asking your mom tells me that you want to do it," concluded Ian. Erin nodded in consideration.

"Good point," she said, feeling slightly guilty about lying about what was really bothering her, but giving Ian a grateful smile nonetheless.

"Who's no help now?" he replied arrogantly, which made Erin immediately roll her eyes and laugh at the predictability of the comment.

"You're so smug," she told him, making sure he saw her feigned exasperation. He smirked as their eyes met, causing a burst of heat to spark in Erin's chest. She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling, the heat that shot through her also pulling fiercely at her cheek muscles.

"I think you mean, right," he replied, still exaggeratedly smug. The heat in Erin's chest began to spread through her body.

"No, I mean obnoxious," she drawled with equal self satisfaction, determined to rip a hole in his playful arrogance, to get the same reaction he had from her. He raised his eyebrows in consideration, seeming almost surprised. The resulting look he gave her sent another shot of heat through her, hitting low in her stomach.

"But lovably obnoxious," he argued, still smirking widely. Erin froze, feeling suddenly awash with guilt and discomfort. She'd lost this exchange, completely unable to respond to him. She swallowed hard, her face and chest on fire.

"Did you want a drink?" she stammered, blurting out the first distraction that came to her head. "I totally forgot to offer you one."

"Sure," Ian answered, the playful tone and smirk know gone. Erin nodded once before getting up off the couch, trying not to move suspiciously quickly to the kitchen.

Once she was there, she closed her eyes and exhaled. She felt like she'd been busted, like Ian had been able to see her crush written all over her face. The smug looks, the words. As soon as he'd spoken, Erin felt completely exposed. Did he know how attractive she found his confidence? Even when it bordered on arrogance. Had he said that on purpose to get under her skin? Was that exchange of banter as charged and flirtatious as it felt?

Erin shook her head. Wishful thinking and fantasising were no use. She had to get a grip. After making their drinks, ensuring her water was extra cold, she headed back into the living room, hopeful that she looked less flushed than she was when she left.

"Are we going to make a start on this homework?" asked Ian after Erin set their drinks down on the coffee table coasters. He'd already got his notes out of his bag, which he must have done while Erin was in the kitchen.

"Of course," she said cheerfully, most of the heat and tension gone from her chest. They fell seamlessly into their usual routine of sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch as they did their homework, Erin thankful that they were focused on work so Ian couldn't see how much she was enjoying the warmth where their bodies touched.

* * *

"I needed this," Erin declared as she held up a simple black t shirt, Miranda flicking through the items on the other side of the thrift store aisle. It was the day after Ian's birthday, and the three of them had decided to take a trip to the thrift store. "Half of my clothes are getting too small."

"That's because you've gotten taller," Miranda replied, examining a pair of khaki cargo pants. "I think both of you have." She glanced over at Ian one aisle over. "Although I may just be imagining Ian has." He raised his middle finger at her.

"Fuck you Rand," he responded, causing a middle aged lady further up the aisle to shoot them a disgusted look. Miranda laughed to herself, making Erin snicker in response. A few moments of silence passed as they continued flicking through the rails of clothes, until Ian got both of their attention.

"What do you guys think?" he asked, wearing a heavy black coat , arms outstretched.

"It looks great," Erin replied immediately, without even thinking about the words leaving her mouth. She took a step back and dropped her eyes to the floor, realizing that she was beginning to stare. Heat creeped into her cheeks.

"I was hoping it wasn't too big," Ian continued from the next aisle.

"It isn't," Erin reassured him, hoping her blushing wasn't as obvious as it felt. "Plus, if you're getting taller then you'll grow into it."

"At least someone acknowledges I might be getting taller," he replied, shooting a pointed glance at Miranda, who was stood beside Erin.

"You're still shorter than me," she fired back smugly, before turning to Erin. "Stop giving him false hope Erin."

"I am not," she argued, unable to stop herself from laughing afterwards. It helped some of the awkward tension escape. Miranda smiled at her before disappearing to another aisle, leaving her with Ian to discuss the coat.

"Hey Rand," Erin said tentatively as she approached Miranda at the dresses after helping persuade Ian to buy the coat.

"Yeah," she replied without turning around, eyeing a black dress with a mesh overlay.

"Do you want another sleepover at my place?" asked Erin, wincing at the almost desperate way the words sounded as they came out of her mouth. "Just us girls." Miranda turned around, a wide beaming smile on her face.

"Of course," she grinned.

Erin had made up her mind. She couldn't keep her secret to herself any longer, not when the slightest things kept affecting her so obviously. Miranda needed to know, and she was now ready to tell her.


	20. Chapter 20

Erin looked nervously in the bathroom mirror, trying to think of the right way, the right words, to tell Miranda about her crush on Ian. Almost a week had gone by since she invited Miranda over for a girls' sleepover where she was going to tell her, and tonight was the night. She'd excused herself to the bathroom as soon as they got inside her house, trying to buy herself time to think.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep it in all evening and mention it right before they went to bed, and she wanted to be able to talk about it without the risk of her parents listening in, so it had to be now. She'd left Miranda sat in the living room, silently voicing the words to her reflection. Eventually, after realizing that she'd been in the bathroom for a suspicious amount of time, Erin exited and collected Miranda from the living room.

"I really need to check what still fits me," said Erin, walking over to her closet after putting on her CD player, Miranda already sprawled across her bed.

"Well look then," she replied, staring up at the bedroom ceiling. Erin started throwing clothes onto the bed beside her, laughing when a dress accidentally landed on Miranda.

"The coat hanger caught my face, bitch," yelled Miranda as Erin's laughter grew more intense, causing Miranda to throw the dress back in retaliation. Erin tried on her clothes, item by item, putting the ones that were now too small in a sad pile next to Miranda.

"It's a shame, I really liked this skirt," sighed Erin as she put a plaid skirt onto the pile of clothes that no longer fit.

"Well you've got women's hips now, not girls hips," teased Miranda as she picked the skirt up and examined it. "Plus you've grown like four inches. If this skirt still fit around your ass." Erin smacked her. "It would be a belt."

"Ugh," groaned Erin.

"Just buy another one that didn't come from the kids section," said Miranda, tossing the skirt back into the too small pile. "It's not like you can't afford it."

"True," Erin sighed, feeling a little guilty complaining about growing out of clothes when she could easily afford to replace them, where Miranda couldn't.

"I think I might get a job," Miranda mused aloud.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Miranda replied confidently. "Something other than babysitting for the neighbours."

"But we'd never see you other than at school," said Erin, who became confused when Miranda smiled in response.

"Somehow I think you two will be fine without me," she said, almost grinning as she spoke.

"You were the one that said you were feeling left out," argued Erin, even more confused, narrowing her eyes at Miranda.

"I also said that I want more money to do more things with you guys," countered Miranda. "But on the other hand I think you'll be just fine without me." A knowing tone laced her words, and she was still grinning. Erin was beyond confused.

"What does that mean?" she demanded, becoming irritated. Miranda could no longer contain herself and burst into giggles.

"Oh Erin," she sighed, throwing her head back. "Please don't make me tell you." Erin watched on as Miranda continued to laugh, wondering why on earth she'd be so happy to spend less time with her and Ian, when it was only last month that she said she felt like a third wheel because they'd spent more time together than they had with her. It appeared like she wanted them to spend more time together without her now. Then it hit her. Erin's mouth fell open in shock.

"Oh my god, you know," she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as Miranda eventually stopped laughing and began to grin wildly. "How long have you known?" Miranda let out a quiet laugh.

"Honey, I've known since summer," she answered, Erin's mouth fell open.

"What?" she exclaimed, blinking in disbelief. "I didn't even know then." A hint of surprise gleamed in Miranda's eyes.

"How long ago did you realize?" she asked.

"The last time we…" Erin began to explain, thinking about Miranda's words that triggered the realization. She then stopped, narrowing her eyes at Miranda. "You didn't want talk about Justin at all did you?"

"Nope," Miranda replied delightedly, popping the 'P'.

"You worked me," exclaimed Erin, still a little shocked, but not surprised.

"Yup," confirmed Miranda, continuing to grin. "I wanted to know if you knew or not."

"How did you figure it out?" asked Erin, self consciousness spreading through her.

"Oh Erin, it was so obvious," sighed Miranda, which only made Erin's discomfort worse. "To me anyway."

"Oh god," she cringed, biting her lip. "Is it obvious to him?"

"No," Miranda answered calmly, briefly breaking eye contact, smiling down at the bed. "But I have my own theory about that." Erin narrowed her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to get your hopes up or anything," began Miranda, her voice tentatively optimistic. "But…" Miranda slowly drawled the word, hoping that Erin would catch on without her having to say it, and she did, her eyes widening.

"You think that…" she replied, unable to say the words out loud herself.

"That he might like you back," Miranda finished for her. Erin nodded. "Hell yeah I do."

"What makes you think that?" asked Erin, trying to keep the desperation in her chest from leaking into her voice. Miranda stopped smiling.

"I've known Ian since he was nine," she stated, very matter-off-factly. "I have never, in my life, seen him open up to someone as quickly as he did with you." Erin felt warmth spread through her chest at the words. She knew he found it incredibly difficult to trust others, and had always been happy with how open he was with her. Hearing confirmation from someone else of how much he trusted her was very comforting. "And I include myself in that."

"I've also never seen him let someone touch him as much as he lets you touch him," Miranda continued to elaborate, Erin trying and failing to contain a smile as she listed each point. "And he's just different with you, softer."

"There could be another explanation," Erin offered, the conviction in her words weak.

"There could be," agreed Miranda, pensively raising her eyebrows. "But I doubt it." She paused. "I can do some digging if you want? Work him too."

"I'm not sure I want to know," Erin replied, covering her face with her hands. Miranda rolled her eyes.

"Of course you want to know," she said. Erin sighed.

"I really don't want to ruin our friendship," she confessed, running her hands through her hair. Miranda gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I get that," she said, reaching over and placing a comforting hand on Erin's leg. "But I don't think this will." The words eased her anxiety around the subject somewhat, knowing that the other person they were both closest to didn't think this was a bad thing.

"But you should wait until you're ready," added Miranda, her voice soft and encouraging. The thought of telling Ian how she felt sent butterflies through Erin's stomach, but she offered Miranda a small smile of acceptance.

"Sounds like a plan," she said.

"Just try not to wait too long," replied Miranda, her calming voice now filled with girlish excitement.

"Rand!" gasped Erin.

"What?" Miranda replied, her voice loud as she grinned bigger. "In case it wasn't obvious, you have my seal of approval."

"I don't want you meddling," stated Erin, shooting Miranda a pointedly warning look.

"Me, meddling? Would I?" she replied theatrically, clutching her chest in mock offence.

"Yes," Erin answered her sarcastic question loudly, laughing slightly. Miranda scrunched up her nose and shrugged in an admission of guilt, before swinging forwards towards Erin.

"Oh my god, this is so exciting," she squealed, grabbing Erin's knees for balance.

"Shut up," Erin responded, playfully smacking Miranda's arm as she fell back to where she was sat on the bed. They continued to discuss the issue amidst teasing and giggling until Erin's parents came home from work, where they then had to try and greet them with straight faces.


	21. Chapter 21

Letting Miranda in on her secret was proving to be both a massive relief and a total pain in the ass. Erin was thankful that it was no longer bottled up inside her, and that she had someone to talk about her crush with, but Miranda was now constantly shooting her knowing looks and grinning, making little comments as soon as Ian was out of earshot, and constantly making excuses to get them alone together. Erin was paranoid that it was becoming obvious.

They were in the middle of cementing their Halloween plans, which so far was going to Justin's annual Halloween party the weekend before, and another movie marathon on the actual day. They'd made plans to all sleep at Miranda's house after the party, which had filled Erin with nerves, despite the fact it had never been an issue before. She hoped she didn't look as nervous as she felt, and Miranda smirking at her from across the table had only made her feel even more self conscious. The topic of today's planning was costumes, which Erin hoped Miranda couldn't find some way to warp and embarrass her.

"Well obviously I'm witching it up," Miranda announced, flourishing her hand dramatically. "What are you guys wearing?"

"I have no idea," sighed Erin, pressing her face into her messenger bag, which sat on top of the table.

"Me neither," added Ian, turning to Miranda. "And you know I hate dressing up."

"Captain Killjoy strikes again," replied Miranda, making Ian roll his eyes.

"That zombie costume you wore the last time we went trick or treating was pretty good, maybe you should do that again?" suggested Miranda, leaning across the table.

"You're only saying that because you made the costume," said Ian, causing Miranda to shoot him a look. "And all we really did was paint all over my face and cut up one of my brother's shirts."

"But it looked good," argued Miranda, her voice growing louder.

"I was twelve," Ian responded.

"You guys got any pictures of this?" asked Erin, shooting upright, excited curiosity in her voice.

"Of course," answered Miranda, shooting Erin a mischievous grin.

"I need to see them," said Erin.

"No you don't," argued Ian, shaking his head. Erin turned herself towards him, leaning closer.

"I think I do," she said slowly, her voice low as she smirked at him.

"You really don't," he replied, leaning towards her.

"But I really do," she continued, smiling at his defensiveness. She watched him purse his lips in consideration, clearly trying to figure out whether it was worth it continuing to argue with her. Erin smiled, knowing she was winning and unable to draw her eyes away from his face.

"What about you Erin?" asked Miranda, distracting her. She turned her attention sharply towards her, her cheeks warming as she realized Miranda had caught her paying too much attention. "Got any ideas?"

"None," she answered, resting back down against her bag.

"Maybe we could match," suggested Miranda enthusiastically. Erin folded her arms and rested her chin on them.

"Or you and Ian could match, with whatever he decides he's wearing." Erin's eyes widened. This was clearly Miranda's attempt at meddling.

"Or maybe I could just have a look at the mall for something," said Erin, offering a counter suggestion as she shot Miranda a look.

"We could come and help," Miranda added, her voice too loud and her tone too knowing for it to be an innocent suggestion. "Couldn't we, Ian." Miranda shot Erin a sly smile.

"Sure," he agreed.

"Let's go Saturday," said Miranda, who Erin was still subtly glaring at. "I could hand out my resume to the stores."

* * *

"You better not get that shit on my carpet," warned Miranda, pointing to Ian and the bowl of fake blood ingredients he was holding, which he was about to mix together.

"You say that like you didn't break an entire bottle of nail polish in that corner," Ian replied, pointing to the corner of the room where a deflated looking beanbag sagged against the wall. Miranda stuck her middle finger up at him.

"Just shut up and go mix your fake blood," she said, at which he laughed to himself. Erin bit down against the smile tugging at her cheeks. "We're gonna do our makeup." Miranda then took Erin's wrist and pulled her into her en suite bathroom.

They closed the door, getting to work on their faces. As she'd mentioned, Miranda was dressing up as a witch, and didn't do her make up much different than her usual look. Erin was dressed as a vampire, which meant that she would need to make her face paler and put on lipstick. She blended in the white face paint first, before doing her eyes and finally her lips, startled by the deep scarlet contrasting with her ashen face.

"Hey," said Miranda, interrupting Erin's thoughts as she looked at herself in the mirror. "I have to pee."

"Ok, I'll step outside," she replied, exiting the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She turned around, spotting Ian sat in Miranda's desk chair with the fake blood he'd mixed dripping down his face and neck.

"Holy shit," gasped Erin, unable to pull her eyes away.

"Told you it would look realistic," replied Ian, clearly impressed with how it turned out. Erin coughed out a silent laugh.

"It does," she said, her eyes still wide as she studied it. "For a moment there I thought you'd been in another fight."

"It's also totally edible," added Ian as he rose from the chair. He paused, glancing at the floor before looking up at Erin, a playful smile on his face. "Wanna come taste some?"

"I'll pass," she answered, wrinkling her nose as she smiled at him. He shoved one hand in the front pocket of his jeans.

"You sure," he continued, leaning to the side and exposing the side of his neck that was coated in fake blood to her. "Might help you get into character." Erin felt her face flush at his suggestion, incredibly thankful that she was wearing white face paint.

"I'm not licking that off your neck," she stated, swallowing hard. Both chills and heat shot through her body as she thought about it. She bit her lip.

"I'm crushed," Ian replied sarcastically, placing a hand on his chest. Erin rolled her eyes and shook her head, forcing her eyes away from him so she could regain control of her senses. She looked down at the bed, trying to think of an adequate distraction.

"I need my teeth," she said, remembering the plastic fangs that were accompanying her outfit. She went towards the bed to search for them. "Where did I put them?"

"Desk," answered Ian, the playful tone from his voice now gone. Erin walked over to Miranda's desk and found her plastic fangs next to Ian's fake blood bowl. She looked inside the bowl as she put her fangs in, the liquid such dark red that it appeared black.

"Maybe you could use some too," suggested Ian, looking into the bowl from the other side of the desk chair. "It'd look good at the corner of your mouth."

"Yeah it would," Erin agreed, meeting his eyes over the bowl. He immediately dipped his pinky finger in, one fat droplet falling back off into the bowl.

"Let me," said Ian gently, moving his finger towards Erin's face. She turned to face him, allowing him to delicately smear the fake blood at the corner of her mouth. A phantom taste of the syrup's sweetness caught her tongue. He moved to smear the blood on the other side of her mouth, and as he did she licked the syrup from his finger. He raised his eyebrows at her, spreading the heat that was already building in her cheeks down to her stomach. She giggled quietly.

"I thought you weren't gonna taste any?" he said, his voice low and questioning. Erin felt frozen in place as their gaze locked, the air suddenly tight around her.

"It was right there," she said, her voice hoarse and unstable. "I couldn't help myself."

"Evidently," he replied, glancing down at her lips before biting his own, laughing silently. Erin blinked, unable to move or close her mouth. Her heart was starting to race. They were just stood frozen in place, staring intensely, and her brain had forgotten how to work. She felt her breathing become shallower and her lips start tingling. For the first time, she was seriously thinking about kissing him.

"Um guys," Miranda's voice came tentatively from the other side of the room. "Are you almost ready?" They both looked at her, their movements sharp and jumpy. Erin could tell from the apologetic look on Miranda's face that she knew she'd interrupted something.

"Yup," Ian answered, Erin nodding silently in agreement. They stepped away from each other, Ian moving to grab his things from the bed.

"I just need to lace my dress up," Erin added, remembering that her dress was loosely corseted at the back. Her face was on fire as she stammered through the words, desperate to be outside in the chilly October air. Miranda gave an acknowledging nod.

"Ian, you lace her up while I go set up downstairs for when we get back," she said. Erin's eyes widened in shock. She'd barely survived that last moment, and now he was going to be lacing up her dress, putting his hands on her waist. She shot Miranda a scared, angry look.

"Okay," Ian agreed, shoving his cell phone into his front pocket. Miranda smiled at them both and then left. Erin was going to kill her.

She awkwardly turned her back as Ian approached her, ready to tie the ribbon at the back of her dress. He made sure that it wasn't too tight before working on the knot. Erin tried to slow her breathing as his fingers skimmed her waist, his body so close to hers that she fought the urge to lean back into him.

"And done," he said after tying up the ribbon. Erin turned around, thanking him as she smoothed down her dress skirt. "You ready?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling warmly to avoid displaying the heat and discomfort that raced through her body. He motioned for her to leave the room first, following closely behind as they headed down the stairs, and then out the door to the party.


	22. Chapter 22

Erin leaned against the sink as she watched Miranda touch up her lipstick in the mirror. This bathroom was at the far end of the school, and nobody really used it. The walls were moulding, half the lights didn't work and most of the toilets didn't flush, so it was the perfect place for Erin and Miranda to chat privately without anybody overhearing, which is what they were currently doing.

"So we walk in," Erin continued her story, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. "And the woman tells us to sit down, which is fine, until she starts talking to us and assumed he was my boyfriend."

"Oh my god," said Miranda, starting to laugh. "What did you do?"

"Here's where it gets super awkward," said Erin, wincing slightly at the memory. Her parents had agreed to let her get her hair done for her birthday, as long as she didn't dye it, and booked a hair appointment for after school on the day of her birthday, to which Ian had come along with her.

"So I start trying to explain that we're just friends and she's really not buying it," she continued to give Miranda the details. "I'm like beet red at this point and just want to get my freaking bangs done, so Ian pitches in and backs me up. I get my bangs done, and then afterwards when we're on the bus he asks me if I was bothered by what happened."

"What did you say?" asked Miranda, putting away her lipstick and leaning back against the sink, greatly intrigued.

"I said no," answered Erin, feeling her face begin to heat up. "And then he said 'good', and we just didn't talk about it again. Like, what the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe it means, 'I'm glad you weren't uncomfortable', because he knows you get uncomfortable around people a lot," offered Miranda.

"But he could see I was uncomfortable," countered Erin, knowing that when she was uncomfortable in social situations it was incredibly obvious. "And usually he'd tell me that he knew I was lying." That was one of the things about Ian that Erin found both refreshing and terrifying, that he seemed to see through other people so easily, and had no problem letting you know that he'd seen right through you. "And, his exact words were 'does it bother you when people assume we're together?" Erin slowed her voice to emphasise the words. "Not, 'did that bother you back there?', because it happens a lot."

"I know," said Miranda. Erin huffed quietly, running her hand through her bangs.

"I just wish I could stop over thinking everything," she sighed, keeping her palm pressed against her forehead.

"Me too," agreed Miranda, sounding almost bored of it. "Maybe then you'd know how to flirt better."

"Rand!" exclaimed Erin, moving her hand away from her face and almost smacking Miranda. She laughed.

"You're so worried about him knowing that you're not even enjoying having a crush," explained Miranda, still clearly amused by Erin's reaction as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Relax a little."

"Yeah, because that's so easy," Erin replied sarcastically. Miranda rolled her eyes.

"You can do it, I know you can," she said reassuringly, reaching out and placing her hand on Erin's arm. "Remember what you told me about Halloween?" Erin felt her face redden at the memory.

"That was different," she replied defensively, looking down at the floor.

"Why was it?" asked Miranda, placing her hand on her hip and raising her eyebrows.

"Because he started it," she replied, feeling her face get hotter. Miranda rolled her eyes again, smiling.

"So don't run a mile, finish it," she suggested, amused by Erin's shocked reaction to the idea. Miranda tapped Erin on the arm. "Now c'mon, or he's gonna get suspicious." She nodded once, and they left the bathroom together, finding Ian leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hall.

"What took you guys so long?" he asked as they approached, flinging out one arm in emphasis.

"Lipstick smudge," lied Miranda, her steady, calm tone cementing her credibility. Erin nodded once, knowing that to back her up with any more enthusiasm would just appear odd. Ian raised his eyebrows, regarding the excuse both plausible and predictable.

"Fair enough," he replied flatly, before motioning for them to head out of the empty hallway.

Ian wanted to stop at his locker, so the three of them headed there. After swapping his books over, he stood against his locker, chatting to the girls about everyone's Thanksgiving plans while they stood opposite him. Lunch was almost coming to an end, so other students were starting to drift into the hallway, but they paid them no attention until a group of four guys in letterman jackets walked past, one of them deliberately knocking into Miranda, who fell into Erin.

"Watch where you're going, asshole," Miranda turned around and yelled at the group, while Erin raised her middle finger at them.

"You ok?" Ian asked Erin, touching her arm as she stood blinking in shock.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she muttered, but her voice was unsteady.

"Don't block the hallway, freak," The guy who hard barged into Miranda fired back, walking backwards with a smug expression on his face.

"Who does he think he is?" spat Ian, his eyes narrowed in contempt at the group.

"He's just some dick from my English class," answered Miranda, despite the question being rhetorical. "Ignore him."

"Hey," Ian then shouted, walking between Erin and Miranda out into the hallway. "Hey asshole, over here."

"Oh fuck," muttered Miranda, while Erin nervously folded her arms to her chest.

"You talking to me?" the boy replied, taking a few steps forwards while his friends hung back.

"I'm talking to whoever thinks it's acceptable to just barge into people minding their own fucking business," Ian responded, continuing to close the gap between him and the older boy. "And you're the only piece of shit I see doing that around here."

"Should we do something?" Erin whispered to Miranda from beside the lockers, her chest tightening.

"Maybe it won't escalate," she tried to reassure Erin, but didn't sound confident.

"So what if I did?" The older boy said arrogantly, looking Ian up and down. "What the fuck are you going to do about it little man?" Ian laughed.

"I expected a pathetic response, but at least hoped for something a little less boring," he replied, the arrogance in his voice now matching the older boy's. "I don't care who the fuck you think you are, nothing gives you the right to push people around, especially people who didn't do shit to you." As much as Erin wished Ian would get his ass back there and drop it, she admired how principled he was. He didn't give a shit who you were, if you'd done or said something wrong in his eyes, you knew about it.

"I don't care," said the older boy. "Now beat it kid, before I kick your ass."

"Go on, do it?" Ian encouraged him, completely unflinching. "Or do you only push girls around?"

"Fuck off, freshman," the other boy spat. Ian laughed again, a harsh contemptuous laugh.

"You say that like it means something," he continued to argue. "You're not better than me because you're older, if anything you're just more stupid."

"That's it," muttered the other boy, before punching Ian square in the face. "Now fuck off." Ian recovered quickly, blood rushing from his nose, and charged at the older boy, sending them both crashing to the floor.

"Shit!" squeaked Erin, rushing over to where the two boys rolled on the floor, Ian punching the other boy repeatedly in the back before landing one on the boys face. Erin grabbed Ian's ankles and pulled him away, while Miranda pulled the other boy away from them.

"Oh my god," gasped Erin as she held out her hands and helped Ian to his feet, staring at the blood covering the lower half of his face. She gripped him tightly as he stumbled to his feet, his knuckles hot in her hand. Once he was standing, he stemmed the flow of blood from his nose with his sleeve. Erin still held his other arm tightly, filled with concern, but she didn't feel panicked like the last fight she'd witnessed.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice tight and upset. Ian nodded, keeping his sleeve pressed to his nose. Erin barely noticed that Miranda was back at their side until she spoke.

"Not that I don't appreciate it," she began, looking and sounding more stern that Erin had ever seen her. "But you didn't need to jump to our defence like that." She handed him a tissue from her pocket.

"I think that asswipe living with the knowledge that a freshmen did a good number on him was worth it," he replied, laughing as he held the tissue to his nose.

"This is not funny," hissed Erin angrily. "You could have been seriously hurt."

"I wasn't just going to let him get away with punching me in the face," Ian replied, the compression on his nose distorting his voice. He didn't seem annoyed that Erin was angry with him. He knew how she felt about him getting into fights.

She let out a sigh. If he'd have never gone after him in the first place, then that kid wouldn't have punched him in the face, but he wasn't going to see it that way. Erin wished that he'd learn when to back down and not end up getting himself hurt. It killed her seeing him like this, but she couldn't let him know that, and she didn't want to argue with him.

"Let's go to the nurses office," she said, gently pulling him in the opposite directing by the arm that she'd never let go of. They walked to the nurse's office, where she gave them a damp cloth to wipe the blood off his face. Ian sat down as Erin dabbed the cloth delicately against his face.

"Can we not make this a regular occurrence, please," she said, tilting his face upwards. He smiled, Erin feeling the muscles in his cheek move.

"I'll try," he replied, causing Erin to roll her eyes, before moving onto cracking jokes to try and get her to cheer up.

"Stop joking around, I'm trying to be mad at you," she said, the tone her voice utterly unconvincing. Ian let out a harsh laugh.

"You're not mad at me," he replied confidently. Erin raised her eyebrows at him. "Otherwise you would have left Rand to clean me up."

"I could still be mad at you," Erin insisted, wiping a smear of blood off his chin with the cloth. Ian blinked, the almost amused look on his face disappearing.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," he said, his voice softer as he looked Erin directly in the eye. She could see how bothered he was by the thought of her being angry with him, and immediately felt any remaining tension in her chest disappear. She couldn't stay angry with him, and they both knew it.

"Stop getting yourself injured then," she replied, mixing playful with stern so he knew that she was definitely no longer upset about the fight. Ian smiled, knowing he'd won her round. His smile made Erin's chest tighten a little as she continued to clean his face, and she hoped that she wasn't beginning to blush, because once again it felt like Ian had been able to see right through her.


	23. Chapter 23

Erin groaned in frustration as Ian's mom's cat Willow, stretched out of the position she was laying in on Ian's bed, possibly ruining the future of Erin's sketch. She'd only seen Connie's cat a handful of times, since she was primarily an outdoor cat, and the few times she had been in the house while Erin was over she'd barely come downstairs, preferring to spend most of her time indoors curled up on Connie's bed. Now that the elusive Willow was inside and in Ian's room, Erin had jumped at a much anticipated chance to draw her.

"What's up?" asked Ian from the beanbag where he sat playing _Silent Hill_ on his Playstation.

"Willow moved," grumbled Erin, glancing over at the black cat, who now lay on her side with her legs outstretched. It had been hard enough to get the shape outline correct since Willow blended in with Ian's bed sheets, now she'd moved into a different position entirely.

"I'm sure you can remember how she was laying," Ian reassured Erin without looking up from his game. "Your sketch will be fine."

"And you know this how?" Erin replied, already questioning the way she felt about the incomplete sketch. Ian turned to face her.

"Because you're so good," he answered, immediately making Erin avert her eyes. He'd always tried to bolster her confidence, as long as she'd known him, but now there was an added layer of intimacy to it that created immediate tension within Erin.

"You'll be eating those words when you see the final thing," she replied, trying not to let the gap between his words and hers be suspiciously long. A silent sigh of relief slipped from her lips as she prepared to turn back to her sketch. She'd handled that well, quick with bantering back rather than being sat there lost for words.

"Trust me, I won't," Ian argued, focused back on his game. Erin took the opportunity of Ian having his back turned to release the smile that had been creating painful tension in her cheeks. She tried to return to her sketch quickly, feeling awkward the longer she sat there in her giddiness. It felt silly, what one compliment did to her, from someone who gave them to her all the time.

The time they spent together after school was different now that Miranda had a job in a coffee shop. The time that they usually spent together after school as a trio on Thursday's and Friday's was now just the two of them, and Saturday mornings. Their time together felt more intimate than their time as a group, it always had to Erin, but the added layer of longing to be closer made her notice it more. She was slowly improving her reactions to anything that could be seen as the slightest bit flirtatious from Ian, usually detailing the interaction to Miranda so she they could dissect it together when she got the chance.

"You know," said Ian slowly. "I did a drawing of Willow eating my brother's eyes while he slept when I was twelve."

"Really?" laughed Erin, lifting her pencil up to avoid smudging her work.

"Yup," Ian replied. "I think I still have it." Erin smiled enthusiastically.

"I need to see this," she said loudly, putting down her sketchbook and shifting on the bed.

"Maybe I'll dig it out when Rand gets here," said Ian.

They were currently waiting for Miranda. It was Saturday afternoon and she was due back from work a short while ago. They allowed time for her to change and shower before making her way over, and were expecting her any minute. The front door was unlocked, Connie was vacuuming downstairs, and they were ready for her to hang out. They didn't really notice how late she was running until Ian's cell phone started to ring.

Ian wasn't on the phone long, but he sounded concerned. As soon as he hung up the phone he told Erin that they had to get over to Miranda's immediately. Anxiety filled her chest as she pulled her boots on as quickly as possible, both of them running through the rain over to Miranda's house.

When they got inside, they found her sat at the kitchen table, a lifeless look on her face. They approached her, but no one touched her. Wet make up ran so heavily down her face that it looked like her eyes had bled black.

"What is it?" Ian asked her, while Erin took a seat beside her at the kitchen table.

"Look in the garbage can," she answered quietly, her voice shaky. Erin watched Ian walk over to the garbage can next to the sink and peer in.

"Oh shit," he muttered, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth as he stared wide eyes into the trash can.

"I went to throw some left over's that had gone bad in there," Miranda began to explain, her voice still raw and fractured. Erin got up to take a look, standing beside Ian as she glanced into the garbage. "That's when I saw it."

"What is that?" asked Erin, unsure of what she was supposed to be looking at.

"A hypodermic needle," answered Ian, bluntly but quietly. Erin blinked at him, still unsure of the needle's significance, despite now being able to spot the plastic syringe in amongst the leftover food and cans.

"It means my mom is using again," said Miranda, the knot in her throat mangling her words. Erin's mouth fell open as she put the pieces together, feeling stupid for not figuring it out herself.

"Oh shit," she whispered, instinctively reaching out and grabbing Ian's arm. Miranda burst into tears.

"What do you want to do?" asked Ian once they'd moved back over to the table, sitting down in the chair opposite where Erin had sat earlier. Erin stayed stood behind Ian, gripping the top of the chair as anxiety grew in her chest.

"I don't know," she stammered between sobs, her head in her hands. "I don't want to go through this again."

"I know," Ian reassured her, placing his hand on her wrist. "Are you going to tell her you saw it?"

"I don't know," answered Miranda, shaking her head. "I don't know what to do."

Miranda threw her head back and continued to sob, her breathing becoming quicker and more choked as she cried. Erin folded her arms over her chest, tears threatening to spill from her own eyes as she looked on. Miranda was the loudest, most outgoing and bubbly of all of them, seeing her like this felt wrong. Erin was starting to feel panicked, her heart aching for Miranda.

"Okay, breathe," Ian instructed, comfortingly rubbing Miranda's arm as she cried. "We're going to handle this." Erin wound her hair around her fingers so tightly that it pulled her scalp as she watched them, remembering all of the tears and panic attacks that Ian had coached her through, without ever even realizing that's what they were.

Her mother always told her that she was just being dramatic, whenever she felt so panicked in a crowded place that bolting and locking herself away seemed like the only way to feel safe, when she'd told her mom that she'd locked herself in the bathroom and hyperventilated at school because the other kids just wouldn't leave her alone. The guilt and shame those comments made her feel lingered with her now, as she berated herself for being upset when it was Miranda's life unravelling.

"She's at work right now," Ian continued talking to Miranda, who showed no sign of calming down. "You don't have to decide anything right now."

"I want to go to your place," she said meekly, pushing her chair back.

"Let's do that," Ian replied, following Miranda's lead and getting up. "You can talk to my mom about it, okay." Miranda nodded before grabbing her coat from the closet, her keys from the bowl beside the door, and then heading out onto the front porch, Ian and Erin soon behind her.

They walked across the street in the rain to Ian's house. He immediately told his mom that Miranda was here and needed to talk, and Connie pulled her into a hug. Ian and Erin left Miranda downstairs, heading up into his bedroom to give her some privacy.

"Fuck," hissed Ian as soon as his bedroom door was closed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Erin kicked off her boots and sat on the bed, already worrying about the mud off the bottoms messing up the carpet.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Erin asked tentatively, sitting with her knees tucked against her chest.

"Last time was pretty bad," Ian responded, pacing the space in front of his closet, clenching his fists repetitively.

"How long had her mom been clean?"

"Two years," answered Ian. "Rand's grandparents paid for her to go to rehab after her dad went to jail."

"Shit," muttered Erin.

"It's the only reason her mom drinks so much," Ian continued, talking too fast and too loud through frustration. "To stop her being tempted back."

"I wonder what changed," Erin said quietly.

"Yeah, me too," Ian replied, before stopping his pacing and moving to sit next to Erin on the bed.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, the harshness in his voice now gone. "I know this is your first time dealing with something like this."

"I'm fine," Erin answered quietly, hugging her legs tighter. "Just worried about Rand."

"She'll be okay," Ian reassured her, placing his hand on her back. "We just need to help her through this."

Erin nodded, catching her closed sketchbook at the other end of the bed from the corner of her eye. She sighed, thinking about twenty minutes ago when all she had to worry about was how her sketch came out. If she thought it was good enough, she was going to draw a little Christmas hat on Willow and give the drawing to Ian as part of his Christmas gift. Agonising over her drawing seemed so silly now, but she knew she still would, and then would end up beating herself up for being so selfish, for having the nerve to worry about something so trivial when Miranda's life was about to fall apart again.


	24. Chapter 24

Since Miranda's discovery a month ago, the town of McKinley had seen an ironically high amount of rain. It rained constantly throughout the Christmas season, and had been raining on and off throughout January. Erin was currently huddling out of the town's latest downpour, jogging on the spot on the McKinley's front porch, waiting for Ian to open the door.

This week had been cold, between the constant showers and the chilly temperatures, Erin spent most of the day freezing as the school's heating system was awful. Ian had managed to escape the worst of the unbearable classroom temperatures because he hadn't been at school since Tuesday, which had given Erin and Miranda plenty of time to discuss Erin's crush without fear of him overhearing anything, but made school feel even colder.

The front door finally opened, a gust of warm air leaking out and catching Erin's icy skin. She immediately shuffled inside, wiping her boots on the welcome mat before unzipping her coat, clinging on to it as she walked through the house towards the coat closet next to the laundry room.

"You're looking a little damp," said Ian, who was leaning against the kitchen island watching Erin put her wet coat away. Erin shut the closet door, turning to face him.

"I'm feeling it," she replied, running her hands along her arms, her whole body shivering as it adjusted to the change in temperature.

"You're looking kinda damp too," Erin continued as she walked into the kitchen, studying Ian's wet hair that was falling into his eyes. "Been for a walk in the rain?"

"Nope," he answered, stepping aside as Erin placed her school bag on the kitchen island. "Just a shower."

"Oh," said Erin quietly, focusing on the contents of her bag as her cheeks reddened slightly.

"Although the miserable weather sure knows how to pick it's timing," Ian continued, Erin still looking into her bag. "Given everything that's happened in the past month." The tone of Ian's voice grew more sombre, which made Erin bring her attention back to him.

"How are you doing?" she asked softly. Today was the anniversary of his father's death.

"Okay I guess," he sighed, leaning against the opposite side of the kitchen island. Ian glanced down at the counter before looking back at Erin. "Better, knowing that you were coming to check on me."

"How did you know?" asked Erin, trying not to let the small smile he'd given her ruin her composure completely.

"Because I figured you would," answered Ian, his smile widening. "Since you miss me too much when I'm not at school." Erin blinked in surprise.

"Oh do I?" she replied, raising her eyebrows and shooting him an incredulous look, which he was clearly amused by. Erin felt her cheeks begin to redden.

"And you texted me to tell me you were on your way over," Ian added, his words slower, which told Erin that was the real reason he knew she was coming over. She'd completely forgotten about that text.

Erin dropped her gaze to the floor, biting her lip to try and hide the guilt on her face. Even if he hadn't realized, he'd been right the first time, but there was no way she wanted that being obvious.

"You might want to be a little more inconspicuous if you're planning on your presence being a surprise next time," said Ian, looking rather smug. As much as his smugness frustrated Erin, she was glad to see that he didn't feel too low to banter with her.

"Noted," she replied sarcastically, shooting him a smile laced with feigned annoyance, before turning her attention back to her bag.

"How's Rand?" asked Ian as Erin began to search through her bag. Miranda had been struggling ever since finding a needle in her home. She'd confronted her mom about it, who'd argued that it wasn't hers, and that she'd had no idea that the person she'd supposedly brought to the house had shot up while she was doing the laundry. Miranda didn't buy it, and barely spoke to her mom over Christmas. She told them when they went out for New Years that she'd begun searching the house, but so far hadn't found anything, and had began hoarding money from her job in case her mom lost hers again.

"The same," answered Erin, sighing quietly.

"It seems ridiculous," said Ian, more to himself than to Erin. "Me feeling like this compared to what she's going through." Erin looked up from her bag, concerned. Ian rested his head in his hands, leaning closer to the counter top. "I should be helping her, not sitting around here feeling sorry for myself."

"Stop that right now," ordered Erin, moving around to Ian's side of the kitchen island and placing her hand on his shoulder. "Just because she's going through stuff right now, doesn't mean you're not allowed to. This time of year is tough for you, she gets that." Ian didn't say anything, but looked up at Erin, grateful for her words of reassurance.

"Now come here," Erin murmured, pulling Ian into a hug. She was becoming very confident in her ability to be the strong friend of the group, especially since she always felt like Ian and Miranda were taking care of her. The tables had turned and given Erin a chance to how well she could be the stable and supportive friend, to both Ian and Miranda. January had been the worst she'd ever seen either of them mentally. Miranda was so consumed with anxiety over her mom's possible relapse, and Ian had been on edge ever since his mom had started going on dates with a man she'd met on New Year's Eve. The night of her first date with him, Erin had told her dad to pick her up late and stayed with Ian all evening, having to confiscate his cell phone so he didn't call her every five minutes.

"We all need to support each other," said Erin, closing her eyes as she buried her face in Ian's neck. She couldn't even allow herself to feel giddy over the close personal contact, since seeing him upset made her whole body ache. "So you're stuck with me all evening." She heard him laugh silently, which released some of the heavy feeling in her chest.

"I think I can live with that," he replied, which made Erin laugh as she gently let go.

"Good," she said, smiling warmly at him as she made her way back to the other side of the kitchen island. "Now go turn on the VCR, I'll get the snacks ready."

"What?" asked Ian, narrowing his eyes at her.

"It's Thursday," stated Erin, starting to pull bags of candy and microwave popcorn out of her bag. "Which has always been our movie afternoon." Ian blinked at her.

"Did you really think that was going to change just because you're having a rough time?" said Erin, an assertive tone to her voice that rarely appeared. Ian grinned, laughing silently.

"I guess not," he said, obviously pleased by Erin's assertiveness. She smiled before gesturing for him to head into the living room and choose a movie, while she made a start on making the popcorn. She'd made sure to get a lot of food, since she knew Ian didn't eat as much when he was feeling low, and restrained herself while watching the movie to make sure he ate more than she did.

"When do you think you'll come back to school?" asked Erin as the movie credits started to roll.

"Why?" replied Ian. "Struggling to cope without me?"

"You wish," Erin fired back, rolling her eyes and lightly smacking his arm, the momentum of the slap moving her body upright so she was no longer leaning into Ian's side.

"Monday," said Ian, catching Erin off guard, since her face was beginning to heat up and she was distracted by thoughts of her blushing being noticed. "Can't see much point in going in tomorrow."

"Well you seem much better," she replied, looking hopefully over at him.

"So I don't want to ruin that by coming in tomorrow," he argued, smiling at her. "Nice try though."

Erin let out an exaggerated and theatrical sigh, falling back down until she lay against Ian's side again, her head resting on his shoulder. She missed having him at school, having him there to know the right thing to say to Miranda whilst Erin felt completely out of her depth. Miranda hadn't been herself since the discovery, so the atmosphere within the group had started to fall flat without Ian's jokes and sarcastic comments.

"You're doing good, you know," said Ian, as Erin leaned into him.

"What?" she asked quietly, confused.

"I know you're worried about being a good enough support system to Rand while I'm not feeling too great either," Ian clarified, causing Erin's chest to tighten at the eeriness of his timing. "You shouldn't be."

"Thanks," she muttered, wondering how on earth he'd known what she was thinking at that exact moment.


	25. Chapter 25

The constant rain of January gradually slowed to a halt, and eventually Ian and Miranda's rough patches did too. Miranda's relationship with her mother was still fraught, and she was still vigilantly looking for signs that her mom was using again, but she was getting better at focusing on other things, and enjoying the freedom that the money from her job at the coffee shop afforded her. The three of them went to the mall more than they ever had, and Miranda got the bus up to Erin's house more. The two of them had started having a girls' afternoon on Tuesdays after school, which gave Erin lots of time to update Miranda on any developments between herself and Ian.

Ian was also over his little blip, as he called it, despite the fact that the blip had lasted a month and a half. The budding relationship between his mother and they guy she met on New Year's Eve had fizzled out as quickly as it had started. The guy had broken it off just before Valentine's Day, and Ian and Kellan played the dutiful sons and reminded their mom that she was better off without him. That she had her boys and her cat, and that was all she needed. He was back to his usual self pretty soon after that, for which Erin was glad. As much as she'd been grateful for the opportunity to return the favour since Ian had looked after her so much, she hated seeing him anxious and snappy all the time.

They were currently sat in the coffee shop where Miranda worked, having a drink to celebrate the start of spring break. School had dragged due to everything that was going on outside of it, and they were all thankful for the break. Miranda brought over their drinks, Ian's a coffee and Erin's a hot chocolate, since her mom would be able to smell coffee on her breath and she wasn't allowed to drink it. Erin thought this rule hypocritical since her mom lived on the stuff, but she didn't like it much anyway, so she wasn't really that bothered.

"I have an idea I wanted to tell you about," said Ian after a long pause in their conversation, glancing around the shop to see where Miranda was. She was busy behind the counter making orders.

"Ooh, what?" asked Erin, intrigued as she put down her mug. Ian glanced over again, to make sure Miranda was still busy, before leaning over the table towards Erin, encouraging her to lean in too.

"Well," he began, his voice notably quieter. "You know Miranda's birthday is coming up."

"Yeah," said Erin slowly, sneaking a glance at Miranda behind the counter without moving her head.

"And it's her sixteenth birthday," Ian continued. Erin nodded.

"I think we should plan something for her, you know," Ian suggested, glancing quickly down at his coffee cup before meeting Erin's eyes again. "Since she's had such a rough year."

"That's such a great idea," Erin replied, struggling to stay quiet as she started to smile. It was a fantastic idea, the thought of it making her chest feel warm. Miranda really deserved it after the year she'd had, and Erin grinned even harder when she pictured Miranda's face light up when she saw whatever it was they were going to plan. Erin loved how thoughtful Ian could be underneath his hard, sarcastic exterior. "She'll love it."

"So you'll help me?" asked Ian, smiling slightly.

"Of course I will," beamed Erin, leaning a little closer and placing her hand on top of his. They both glanced down at where their hands touched, Erin slowly pulling away as she realized she'd let her enthusiasm take over. Their eyes met, an almost shy glance passing between the two of them, before they both brought their attention back to their drinks, and then moved on to discussing ideas.

"So," said Erin, opening her notepad as she lay on her stomach sprawled across Ian's bed. He'd assumed his usual position in the bean bag on the floor. "We've got the first part of the plan out of the way. What's next?"

"Well we still need to decide what to get her," he answered, looking over at one of his bookshelves. "It's her sixteenth birthday, so we need to get her something good." So far, they'd decided to ask Ian's mom if she would drive them to a Chinese restaurant in the next town over, where Miranda said she went once with her parents and hadn't been since, but wanted to go back. Connie had agreed, so that was one surprise down.

Erin already had a list of possible ideas written down in her notebook. At the top of her list was drawing something for Miranda, she just didn't know what. Maybe she could take one of the photos of the three of them Miranda had developed and sketch it.

"Should we both get her something small, or collab and get her something a little bigger?" Erin wondered aloud, highlighting the options in her notebook alongside a doodle of a heart.

"I was thinking about getting her one of those crystals she wants," said Ian, still looking at his bookshelf. Erin narrowed her gaze in surprise. While Miranda enjoyed anything spiritual, Ian was a firm non-believer in anything he couldn't see with his own eyes.

"I thought you don't believe in that stuff," she said.

"I don't," he replied, turning his attention back to Erin. "But she does. And I know she doesn't like it when I dismiss spiritual stuff." Erin smiled, pleasantly surprised.

"Maybe we could do a witch themed gift reveal," she suggested, following along with the spirituality theme.

"And how would we do that?" questioned Ian, folding his arms behind his head as he slouched in the bean bag. Erin pursed her lips in consideration.

"I don't know," she admitted, flicking through the pages of her notebook hoping to draw inspiration from one of her drawings. "We could put all out gifts in a wooden box and decorate it?"

"Maybe," Ian replied. "But then we'd have to find a box that would be big enough, and fit the theme." Erin wrinkled her nose, grumbling silently at the truth in his words.

"We could hide the gifts and write riddles for how to find them," Erin suggested. Ian smiled.

"Good idea," he said, leaning forwards and resting his arms on top of his knees. "But short of using actual magic, which totally doesn't exist, I'm not sure how we'd keep that thematically consistent." Erin sighed quietly, glancing back at her notebook.

"Or maybe we shouldn't have a theme," she said, liking the idea of giving Miranda riddles and clues to find her presents. "And should just do like a scavenger hunt."

"I like it."

"Now we just have to decide what to get her."

"I've got an idea," said Ian, pointing towards the ceiling. Erin nodded, motioning for him to elaborate.

"We're going to do a scavenger hunt, right," he started to explain, drumming his fingers against his knee as he spoke. "So maybe we should buy fifteen little gifts for her to find, and have a big one at the end of the hunt."

"That's good," Erin responded, picturing it already. "We can decide what to get between us, one of us can write the clues, which I'm gonna say you should do since you're better with words, and we can decide where we're going to hide them, and hide them that morning while she's at work."

"You know what Erin," Ian began, looking up at her. She blinked. "We make a damn good team. We're gonna pull this off and it's gonna be great." Erin smiled, glancing down at her notebook as she felt her cheeks redden.

"Yeah, we do make a damn good team," she replied, her cheeks hot and aching as she tried to contain her smile.


	26. Chapter 26

It was finally Miranda's birthday. Over a month's worth of planning and organising was about to pay off as Erin and Ian waited on Miranda's front porch for her to arrive home from work. It was currently 2:30pm, which meant that she couldn't be too far away, since she finished work at two, and the bus stop where she got off four blocks down was only a ten minute walk away. They sat in comfortable silence as they waited, eagerly anticipating their friend appearing around the corner.

When Miranda eventually did appear, they got up off the porch steps and leaned over the wooden railings so she would see them. As soon as she noticed them, the pair of them shouted happy birthday at her.

"How long have you guys been waiting there?" asked Miranda as she came up the porch steps, fishing around in her messenger bag for her house keys.

"Not long," answered Ian, whom Miranda noticed was holding a small trowel in his hand. She narrowed her eyes and shot him a suspicious look.

"Why the hell are you holding a garden trowel?" she said, still staring at it. He and Erin both laughed. They'd buried some of her gifts as part of the scavenger hunt they'd planned. The few that were buried were scattered around the nearby park where Ian and Miranda met. Some of the others were tied to trees or play apparatus, which Ian and Erin had done an hour earlier while Miranda was still at work.

"It's for you," he replied, watching as Miranda's facial expression changed from suspicious to thoroughly unimpressed. Erin stifled a giggle with the back of her hand. "For your birthday surprise."

"Birthday surprise?" said Miranda, now intrigued.

"We may have been planning something for your birthday," Erin explained, dragging out the 'may'. Miranda started to grin.

"So go inside and get changed," added Ian, guiding Miranda towards the front door by her shoulder. "We don't have much time."

"Why?" she asked, glancing back at the trowel. "What the hell are you getting me to dig up?" Ian laughed.

"Nothing weird, just get changed," he said, shaking his head at the suspicious glance Miranda threw at him as she unlocked the door.

Miranda continued to question what they had planned for her once they were inside the house, which neither Ian nor Erin responded to. They simply pushed her upstairs and told her to change out of her work clothes, and to come back down as soon as possible.

"Ok you weirdoes," Miranda's voice came from the stairs ten minutes later. She emerged at the bottom of the stairs in a black tank top and cargo shorts, a loop of black and red chequered fabric tied around her waist as a makeshift belt. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on now or not?" Ian and Erin exchanged a glanced, amused by Miranda's impatience, before handing her the scrap of paper with the first clue on.

"Here's your first clue," said Ian as he handed the paper to her.

"Clue?" she questioned, eyeing the piece of paper.

"Read it," he instructed, sitting back down at the kitchen table as Miranda read the clue. The opening paragraph told her that sixteen birthday gifts had been hidden nearby, and that each one would have a little clue on where to find the next one. The second paragraph was the first clue.

"To find the first gift you won't have to look far," Miranda read aloud. "Locate the dead garden and there you are." She paused, tucking the note in her pocket. "Dead garden? Where the hell am I gonna find one of those?"

"It's probably closer than you think," Ian responded, sounding somewhat smug as he watched Miranda try to figure out the clue.

"Stop enjoying this so much," Miranda fired back with half feigned annoyance. Erin laughed. "Now let's go find this dead garden." Miranda sped towards the front door before Ian called out to stop her opening it.

"What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he said, smirking as he held the trowel up for her. She shot him another unimpressed look.

"I'm going to hit you with this trowel," she said as she took it before flouncing out of the house. Ian and Erin followed her out, quietly laughing over Miranda's dramatics as they shut the front door.

Miranda was waiting for them on the porch, since they couldn't go anywhere until she locked the front door. After she did, they all went down the steps and stood on the sidewalk. She initially questioned why neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to go anywhere, or why they wouldn't even give her a direction to head in, but then she saw another note flapping around in the breeze, caught on a branch of the dead rose bush in front of her house.

"Dead garden," she exclaimed, hurrying towards the bush to fish out the note, which was attached by a piece of string to a small package covered in wrapping paper. She opened it to reveal a bag of Jolly Rancher candy, which were her favourite.

Miranda thanked them and got to reading her next clue, which took her to the tree outside Ian's house, where the present was tied to a low hanging branch. Ian gave her a bag to keep her gifts in as she continued to search for the others, finding one more in a tree on their street, nestled in a small dip where the trunk broke off into a long branch.

They left the street and started making their way towards the park, Miranda finding one present tied to a chain link fence near the corner store, and another tied to a street light overlooking the park. She gave Ian and Erin an unimpressed look when she reached her first digging challenge, which was at a spot along the outside of the park where Miranda had ditched a pair of sandals in a plastic bag after stepping in dog shit when she was 10. Ian and Miranda recalled the story as she dug, laughing over how badly she reacted and remembering how Kellan gave her a piggy back ride all the way back to her house afterwards.

Erin enjoyed listening to their nostalgic stories about hanging out in this park, a part of her wishing she could have been there too. Most of the locations in the park where the gifts had been placed were linked to some story or another. The tree Miranda tried to climb when she was 11, the see saw where Kellan rocked it too hard and Miranda flew off. The final present, Erin knew, was buried under the swings, which is where Ian and Miranda first met.

"I can't believe you're making dig for the last one," remarked Miranda as she knelt down under the swing, starting to dig up the sandy dirt.

"Well we couldn't have just given it to you, could we?" replied Ian, who was sat on the next swing over. Erin laughed as Miranda stuck her tongue out at him and kept digging, eventually hitting the wrapped box of her final gift with the trowel.

She pulled it out, unwrapping the present and setting aside the note to read afterwards. The last present, which had been the most expensive, was a black tourmaline crystal pendant.

"Oh my god," gasped Miranda as she opened the box. "Guys, this is beautiful."

"We looked up what each crystal is supposed to do and everything," Erin informed her, which only made her smile wider.

"Thank you both so much, for all of this," she beamed, still staring down at the pendant in it's box.

"Read the note," Ian reminded her.

"Oh, I totally forgot about that," she replied, gently placing the box in her bag of gifts. She picked the note up off the sand and read it, the note informing her that the three of them, with Ian's mom, were going out to dinner tonight. Miranda had been expecting to order take out since her mom was working until midnight.

"Wow guys," sighed Miranda as she rose up off the ground, dropping into the swing her pendant had been buried under. "How long have you been planning all this?"

"Since spring break," answered Ian. Miranda raised her eyebrows, impressed.

"So that's what you guys were doing while I worked overtime all break," she said, launching herself off the swing after gaining a small amount of momentum. She picked up the bag of gifts and started to step away from the swing set. "It's not how I hoped you'd been spending your time, but the effort is appreciated nonetheless."

Erin's face immediately heated. Miranda was never so brazen as to throw one of her comments at Erin this obviously. Maybe it was revenge for making her dig holes in the park for the last half hour. Erin shot Miranda a distressed look, which she smirked at before heading off towards the exit.

"Come on," she shouted, already a good few paces away from the swings. "I'm not letting you two go out to dinner dressed like that."

"What about the trowel?" Ian shouted back at her, noticing she'd left it on the ground.

"You carry it," Miranda yelled, amusement filling her voice. Ian rolled his eyes before hopping off the wing and picking up the trowel, heading towards Miranda as Erin followed.

"And also," said Miranda as soon as Ian and Erin had caught her up. "Which one of you little weirdoes went through my stuff to find out exactly what I was running out of?" Erin glanced guiltily down at the grass as Miranda pulled her into a hug. Walking with her arm around Erin's shoulders all the way back to her house.


	27. Chapter 27

Erin flew forwards as she felt the weight of the star shaped piñata Miranda had purchased hit her in the back of the head. She steadied herself, turning around to flip off a giggling Miranda as they strolled lazily down the street. It was the fourth of July, and Miranda finally had a day off work. She'd been working extra shifts, which meant that Erin had barely seen her since they finished school for the summer. Miranda had insisted that the three of them do something together, even though neither she nor Ian were very enthusiastic about the holiday.

"The fuck was that for?" Erin shouted at a still laughing Miranda, who had now stopped walking.

"I thought it'd be funny," explained Miranda, twirling the stick that came with the piñata in her hand. "And I wanted to get your attention."

"Well, you got it," Erin replied, pushing her hands into her front pockets. "What do you want?"

"Are you excited to see what Ian looks like with his glasses on?" asked Miranda, the tone of her voice stuck between teasing and amused. Erin felt her cheeks start to flush. Earlier in the week, Ian had an eye test and found out he needed reading glasses. They were on the way to his house now, which meant that this was the first time they would get to see them.

"I don't know," Erin replied quietly, avoiding Miranda's stare.

"C'mon, don't go all shy on me," she replied loudly, gently smacking her in the arm with the piñata stick. "Do you think you'll like them?"

"I don't know?" Erin repeated, her face growing hotter by the second. She dodged Miranda's latest swing with the stick, burying her face in her hands. She hated when Miranda did this, put her on the spot with questions that she didn't want to answer. Erin contemplated grabbing the stick off her the next time she swung it and hitting her back.

"Do you like glasses?" Miranda thankfully stopped swinging the piñata stick around, and was now holding it like a makeshift cane, tapping it against the pavement.

"Like them how?" asked Erin. Miranda rolled her eyes.

"You know what I meant," she replied, flashing Erin a knowing smile which made her cheeks burn even more. She shook her head, laughing awkwardly.

"I," she stammered, covering her face with her hands again. "I don't know."

"Well I guess you're about to find out," teased Miranda. Erin playfully pushed her, still laughing through her embarrassment.

They reached Miranda's house, and Erin waited outside on the front porch while Miranda went and grabbed a scarf to use as a blindfold for the piñata. The two of them then crossed the street and let themselves into Ian's house.

He was sprawled across the couch reading a book, feet crossed at the ankles. The low hum of a vacuum could be heard upstairs. Miranda announced their arrival by throwing the piñata at him, where it landed on his open page. He recoiled, letting go of his book and yelling.

"What the fuck, Rand!" he shouted, staring down at the red, white and blue star in his lap. Miranda had perched herself on the arm of the armchair, and had her head thrown back in laughter.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," she justified, continuing to laugh as she rose to her feet and collected the piñata, dropping it on the chair with the stick, scarf and candy.

"You almost gave me a fucking heart attack," Ian replied, sounding half angry. Erin felt the urge to go over there and site beside him, but resisted, instead choosing to twist the leather bracelet around her wrist. Ian was often jumpy and on edge, and it made Erin feel protective of him, even if this was only a harmless joke.

"Relax," said Miranda, shaking her head as she sat back down. "Anyway, how are the new specs?"

"They're okay," Ian replied, saving his page before standing up. "Turns out the reason I was getting headaches all the time is because I needed them." He pushed the frame of his glasses up along the bridge of his nose where they had slid down, which brought all of the heat that had since disappeared right back into Erin's face. They definitely suited him. She'd been unable to tear her eyes away from him since they'd walked in.

"And what did you think caused them before?" asked Miranda.

"I don't know, stress maybe," Ian responded flippantly, shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't really care." Erin rolled her eyes.

"You know," she said sternly, pointing at him like a scolding parent. "If you don't start looking after yourself better, one day I'm gonna kick your ass." Ian raised his eyebrows at her, the glasses making it even more attractive.

"Wouldn't that be counterproductive?" he questioned.

"No," Erin replied, meeting his gaze despite the fact her face felt like it was on fire. "Because it would be assault and not self neglect, smartass." Ian laughed to himself.

"I'd like to see you try," he replied, smirking in a way that made the heat in Erin's face spread to her chest.

"Ok children," Miranda interjected. "Save the fighting talk for the piñata." Erin used the interruption to look down at the floor and will her face to cool down, pleased that she didn't feel like she was going to melt completely.

"Piñata?" asked Ian.

"You know," said Miranda. "The star I threw at you." Ian blinked in recollection.

"Oh right," he said, before narrowing his eyes. "Why a piñata?"

"So we can celebrate independence by smashing the shit out of it," Miranda answered theatrically, brandishing the piñata stick like a sword. Ian laughed.

"Now that sounds like a plan," he said. "Better than going to the fireworks on the country club green, anyway."

"You're going to that?" asked Miranda, wincing slightly.

"Yeah," answered Ian, mirroring Miranda's grimace. "Since Kel's off to college, mom thought it'd be nice to go one last time." Neither of their tones conveyed any sense of enthusiasm, which confirmed Erin's suspicions that the event she was going to with her parents tonight was going to be seriously lame.

"We're going too," she announced quietly. "We were in California last year so we missed it." The unimpressed expression on Ian's face immediately disappeared.

"I wasn't looking forward to it," he began, looking directly at Erin. "But now I know that you're going I may have to reconsider my approach." Erin bit the inside of her cheek to avoid grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah," she said. "I guess we'll have to accidentally." She motioned air quotes as she said accidentally. "Bump into each other."

"Sounds good," he replied, smiling.

"Yes. Please come rescue me from spending the evening with my parents," she replied, placing her hand on her chest and throwing her head back slightly. She glanced over at Miranda grinning proudly at her theatrics.

"Of course."

"Ok," Miranda said loudly, getting up off the arm of the chair. "Should we fill the piñata and get it strung up on the back porch?"

"I'll do it," offered Ian, walking over and taking both the piñata and the bag of candy before disappearing into the kitchen. As soon as he was out of earshot, Miranda turned towards Erin, a prying smile on her face.

"So?" she drawled, nudging Erin's side. She hid her face in embarrassment.

"The answer is yes," she whispered, covering her mouth as soon as the words left it. Miranda squealed.

"I knew it."

Ian didn't take long filling the piñata and hanging it up from the old light fixture on his back porch. As soon as it was up, the three of them sat around the living room watching Miranda twirl the stick in the air, dropping it multiple times.

"So who wants to whack the shit out of freedom first?" she asked after picking the stick up from the floor after dropping it mid twirl.

"I'll do it," Ian volunteered, rising off the couch to grab the scarf blindfold and the stick. He walked back towards the couch, looking directly at Erin.

"Blindfold me," he said, which made her blink at him, mouth slightly open. He threw the scarf at her which she only just caught, fumbling as to avoid dropping it. She followed him to the couch, blushing over her awkward reaction.

He sat down with his legs far enough apart that she could stand between them, suddenly very conscious of how close they were, how his eyes were level with her chest. She straightened out the scarf, trying not to seem like she was avoiding looking Ian in the eye.

"You forget about something?" she said, almost teasingly, noticing that he was still wearing his glasses. He looked confused, so she tapped the frame.

"Oh shit, yeah," Ian replied, taking the glasses off. "I forget they're there half the time." He slid the glasses onto Erin's face, ruffling her bangs so they framed her face better.

"You take them," he said, smiling after putting them on her. "They look better on you, anyway."

"You're just saying that so I won't steer you into the table once I have you blindfolded," Erin replied, finishing with a smirk.

"That thought hadn't even crossed my mind," said Ian, an amused gleam in his eye as he looked up at Erin. "Should I be worried?" He raised his eyebrows, sending heat into her stomach.

"Not now," she replied, composed despite how thick the air felt between them. To break the intensity, she wrapped the blindfold around his eyes, biting her lip firmly as the giddy grin she'd been fighting broke free. Erin glanced over at Miranda, trying not to make a sound as her facial muscles betrayed her while she knotted the scarf. Miranda sent her thumbs up in approval, grinning widely.

Once the scarf was tied around Ian's face, Erin gently took his hands to help him up. The grin on her face was still embarrassingly wide, but at least he couldn't see it. Once she'd handed him the stick, Erin spun Ian towards the back door and placed both hands on his waist to guide him, without even slightly hesitating.

The thing Miranda hadn't had a chance to witness until now, was the fact that spending more time together alone had allowed Erin to take Miranda's advice and loosen up a little when it came to flirting. While they'd been planning Miranda's birthday surprise together, the charged remarks and the casual touching had increased, and it was becoming clearer to Erin that her crush wasn't one sided. That security had allowed her to relax more, and flirt back rather than staying flustered and unresponsive. The comments and touches still made her feel weak, but she was much more confident in her ability to give as good as she got.

She guided Ian outside and spun him around on the back porch a few times before watching him attempt to hit the piñata, laughing as he missed. Miranda, who had made her way from the couch to the window, watched through the blinds, joining in on the laughter. Ian then finished his turn and put the blindfold on Erin, being equally as teasing and touchy as she had been as he spun her.

The three of them rotated turns until Miranda finally struck a hole in the cardboard star, sending candy showering out over the porch decking. They sat on the couch and ate it, sharing it with Ian's mom who had come to watch them halfway through. When Erin's dad came to pick her up, disappointment hung in her chest, but Ian reminded her as she was leaving that he would be at the fireworks display later, which allowed anticipation to quickly take its place.


	28. Chapter 28

Summer flew by, and before Erin knew it sophomore year had started. It started off well. Erin was hitting an academic stride, excited about the more challenging classes she'd taken this year. Long gone was the girl who was falling behind because she was so anxious that she could barely concentrate. The girl she was now felt smart, and confident. She still didn't participate in class much. Her anxiety hadn't been completely defeated, and she had no desire to draw attention to herself in front of all her asshole classmates.

On top of her academic confidence, whatever was going on between her and Ian had reached a new level of intensity. It seemed like now they were both aware of each other's feelings, and were just waiting tentatively for one of them to make a move towards taking things further. Erin didn't feel like she could be the one to do it, and expressed her concerns to Miranda whenever they were alone. As much as Erin was ready for things to move further now, a part of her was still terrified. She'd never been in a relationship before, and she certainly didn't want to risk the friendship she had with Ian.

The new school year had got off to a great start, until one day when Miranda called Erin's cell after school. She was supposed to be babysitting at her neighbour's house, but instead was now pacing her living room, the sound of unshed tears cracking her voice.

She'd come home from school and found her mom high. Her mom was sleeping it off as she was making the call, so she couldn't hear Miranda's crying. Ian was at Erin's house, so he took the phone and talked to her, eventually switching to the landline when Erin ran out of minutes.

Miranda was distraught. Not only did she finally have undeniable proof that her mom was using again, she was home during the middle of the afternoon, which was when she usually started her work shifts. Miranda was terrified that her mom would lose her job, and one week later, Miranda's worst nightmare came true.

Miranda tried her best not to panic. She'd had enough money saved up that they'd be able to afford their rent for the next month, but anything after that she wouldn't be able to cover. She knew that her mom wouldn't be able to get another job and that they'd probably lose their house, so she tried to distract herself until the inevitable happened.

Aside from Miranda's home situation, Ian's sixteenth birthday was quickly approaching, and all three of them were trying to come up with ideas on how to celebrate it. His mom was going to be away for a three day work conference until the morning of his birthday, so they'd initially planned to use the empty house, but one week before, Miranda was presented with an alternative idea.

"Did you guys know that Donny is having a party next Friday?" said Miranda as she threw herself into the seat next to Erin at their table in the cafeteria.

"No," Ian replied. Donny was a friend of Kellan's who was a senior at McKinley high. They'd talked to him a lot at Justin's parties. He was big into skating and liked to DJ. "Are you suggesting that we go?"

"Hell yeah I am," Miranda answered loudly, leaning across the table. "We were looking for something to do for your birthday, this is it." Ian gave a small shrug of agreement.

"Erin," he said, turning to face her. "You up for it?"

"Sure," she nodded. It was settled. They were going to the party.

The initial plan was for all three of them to sleep at Ian's place after the party; but Erin's mom overheard her and Miranda discussing outfits for the party, and reluctantly agreed to let her go, provided that she was home by eleven and that she absolutely did not drink. Ian told Erin's parents that he would walk her home and look after her all night. He was overly polite with them the entire time he was over for dinner, and had began discouraging Erin from disobeying them or lying to them. He was clearly trying to improve their opinions of him, and had been subtly for about a month. Nerves swam around Erin's stomach when she considered why he'd decided to do so now, wondering if it meant what she thought it meant or whether she was just reading too much into it.

Two days before the party, Miranda's grandparents told her that they were going to pay for her mother to go back to rehab. She would be there for three months, and they'd lose the house. Her grandparents were going to take her in until the end of the fall semester, when they'd send her to go and live with her aunt in Pittsburgh, which was much closer to her mom's rehab centre. Erin was gutted by the news, Ian too, but they all agreed not to dwell on it until after Ian's birthday.

The night of the party finally arrived, and Erin's whole body tingled with nerves as she examined her outfit in the mirror. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous exactly; she'd been to parties before, and while she wasn't their biggest fan, she'd leaned to cope with them. She wouldn't be a stranger, and Ian always looked after her at parties, while also keeping a keen eye on Miranda who was much more of a social butterfly. Maybe it was the fact that her parents knew she was going to a party that was throwing her, or maybe it had been all of the whispered conversations between Ian and Miranda she'd been observing during the week.

They'd definitely been talking about something private, and while Erin had no room to be suspicious since she and Miranda had been having private conversations about Ian for the past year, something about it made her on edge. It made her feel like they knew something she didn't, and it drove her crazy. On top of the secret conversations, Miranda had chosen Erin's outfit for the party to be as sexy as possible. Erin hadn't felt this exposed since her vampire costume for Halloween last year, and even then, that still had a full skirt. Erin pulled the front of her tank top up higher, throwing a hoodie on over it so her parents wouldn't see as she went downstairs.

Even getting downstairs was a problem, since Miranda had insisted that Erin wear a pair of her heeled boots to the party. Erin could barely walk in heels. She acted like she could as she met her dad by the front door, pulling the hem of her skirt down a little while his back was turned. Erin's mom emerged from the hall, gave her a scrunitous once over, and released a quiet hum of acceptance. It didn't sound like approval, more like 'you'll do', but Erin was relieved by it nonetheless. The last thing she wanted was an argument. Her mother bade her goodnight and reminded her sternly of the rules, before she and her dad got in his car to drive her to Ian's house.

The plan was to walk from Ian's house to Donny's, who lived two blocks away from Justin. They were arriving at the party at nine, which would give them an hour and a half there before Ian had to take Erin home. They set off at around eight thirty, Erin unsteady on her feet.

"Ian, help Erin walk," instructed Miranda as they walked down the street. Erin paused hesitantly as she allowed him to wrap his arm around her waist, throwing hers over his shoulders. In Miranda's shoes, she was taller than him by about two inches, which Miranda found hilarious. Erin clung to Ian as she teetered along, the October winds chilly against her skin, gripping the collar of the black shirt he wore undone over a black and red t shirt.

She allowed herself to enjoy the closeness, pressing herself as tightly against him as she could. He smelled like cologne, nice cologne which Erin didn't recognise. The wind carried the smell towards her as they walked, which only made her want to get closer to him. They arrived at Donny's house a little after nine, Erin's feet now killing her. Miranda opened the door to let them in, and as soon as Erin saw the amount of people in the house she froze, panic flooding through her.

"Hey, hey Erin," Ian said softly, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the tree in the front yard. "What's up?"

"It's so busy in there," she managed to say, squeezing his hand as she tried to slow her breathing down.

"It's okay, you know a lot of these people," he reassured her, running his thumb comfortingly over the back of her hand. "And you know I'll look after you in there. It's gonna be okay, I promise."

"I know," Erin said quietly, slowly coming back to her senses. "It just threw me off, that's all."

"Well, I have a feeling that you've got nothing to worry about," said Ian, smiling knowingly. "That you're gonna have a great time." He stepped away from her, holding out his hand. Erin sighed, taking a deep breath as she took his hand and let him lead her into the house.

They found Miranda in the kitchen, stood next to a massive sheet cake with Happy 18th Birthday scrawled on it in lopsided icing. So it was Donny's birthday too, which was why he was throwing a party. Miranda's motivation for suggesting the party was also now apparent, as she filled a red solo cup with beer and downed it in one, filling the cup back up again as soon as she was done. She wanted to get wasted.

The first half of the party was fairly slow, allowing Erin's anxiety to dissipate. She watched Miranda dance with a girl with blue hair, who she said was a regular customer at the coffee shop. Erin eventually got tired of standing on her aching feet and left Miranda with the girl, falling down next to Ian on a nearby couch. They tried to talk, but the music was so loud that they could barely hear each other. All the shouting was also making Erin's throat dry, so Ian suggested going to get a drink.

He stood up, holding his hand out for her to take as he led her towards the kitchen. Erin realized that they'd spent most of the night holding hands. Everyone here that they didn't know probably thought they were a couple. The thought made Erin's stomach flip.

She held tightly onto Ian's hand as they made their way through the family room towards the kitchen, struggling to keep up and not wobble on her heels. Halfway through to the kitchen, somebody knocked into Erin, making her go over on her heel. She thought she was about to hit the floor and embarrass herself in front of everyone but Ian quickly caught her.

She grabbed hold of him to steady himself, leaning into his neck as she laughed off the humiliation of almost falling over. After a moment, she felt Ian's hands move from her arms to her waist, and his nose nudging her cheek. She looked up at him, biting her lip bashfully as their eyes met. Erin started to laugh again, leaning forwards so their foreheads were touching. They were so close that Erin knew what was about to happen before Ian glanced down at Erin's lips. Her mouth fell open slightly open as he brought his eyes back up, meeting her gaze again. She looked down at his lips, before closing her eyes as he moved in to kiss her.

Erin wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back, fighting the urge to smile as she pressed her lips against his. They pulled apart briefly, eyes meeting and searching for clarification that the kiss was wanted before falling back together, months' worth of mutual longing being released as their lips touched.


	29. Chapter 29

They didn't even know how long they'd been stood there, the rest of the world disappearing around them as the music and each other became their only awareness. Eventually Miranda came over and pulled them apart, yelling 'finally' as she pulled them both into a hug.

"It wasn't quite what I'd planned," Ian shouted over the music, his arm around Erin's waist. She looked at him, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"I was planning on waiting until I walked you home from the party," he explained. It clicked then, what Ian and Miranda had been whispering about. He'd been planning on kissing her all evening. Erin smiled, burying her face into Ian's shoulder.

"At least this way I got to see it," replied Miranda, before squealing and hugging them both again. "I'm just so happy you finally did it. Now I can stop playing piggy in the middle between the two of you." They both shot her matching glares.

"What?" she shouted, sipping her drink. "Do you have any idea how hard it was not to tell you guys that you liked each other? It was painful. Pain. Full." After a few more loud congratulations, Miranda went off to find her blue haired friend, and Ian and Erin got their drink and moved to one of the quieter rooms.

Soon after that the party started to get crazy. Ian and Erin spent their time away from the crowd, tangled together on a couch in a back room. They kissed, and then talked, and then kissed some more until Miranda found them, dragging them with her to go and get another drink. When they got to the kitchen, all three of them froze. Kurt Dwyer and his gang of asshole tagalongs were here.

Kurt shoved violently past Ian as they entered the kitchen area, hurling an insult at him as his sidekicks followed behind, beers in hand. Ian responded by asking Kurt what he was doing here, since skater seniors were hardly the crowd that the JV jocks hung out with.

"Me and Donny are tight," Kurt replied, stepping back towards him. "What the hell are you doing here, freak?"

"Tight?" questioned Ian, sneering at the jock's use of slang. "More like he's your math tutor." Something on Kurt's face shifted. The smug superiority disappeared, being replaced with angry defensiveness.

"How the fuck did you know you little weasel?" shouted Kurt, stepping so close that Erin thought Kurt was going to grab Ian. She fell back, keeping hold of his hand. Ian didn't seem bothered, instead he laughed.

"No way," he responded, grinning smugly at the bigger jock. "I was right, wasn't I?" Kurt glanced back at his buddies, probably to check that they weren't secretly laughing.

"I mean I was just making a fucking guess, but…" Ian continued, now cocky and arrogant. Kurt forced his weight towards him, pushing his back into the kitchen island.

"Shut the fuck up and leave you little freak," he ordered, holding his can of Budweiser above Ian's head like a weapon. Ian snickered.

"Are you serious?" he said, shooting an unimpressed glance at the beer can above his head. "Did you honestly think that was going to work?" Kurt stepped back once, Ian using the opportunity to step away from the island. "You're so fucking pathetic."

Kurt clenched his jaw, shaking his beer violently and preparing to open it over Ian's head. Just as he pulled the metal tab, Ian knocked the can and sent the frothing fountain of beer all over Kurt instead of himself.

"You little fucker," snarled Kurt, furious that he was the one now soaked with beer. Ian continued to laugh at the soaked jock, impressed with his own reflexes, but while he was focused on smugly observing his victory, Kurt grabbed a fist full of Donny's cake and threw it at his face. Ian immediately retaliated, grabbing a handful of cake and throwing at Kurt.

"Fight!" yelled someone in the kitchen who had witnessed the ordeal, and soon hoards of people were flocking into the kitchen. Erin and Miranda just about managed to make it out before the kitchen got too full to move. They sat down on the couch as they waited for the fight to end and the crowd to disperse. They discussed the incident, both frustrated that Ian had gotten himself in yet another fight, but also impressed by how quickly he'd deflected that beer.

The crowd dispersed eventually, spitting a now cake covered Ian back into the family room. Thankfully Erin couldn't see any bruises or cuts on him as she rose from the couch and teetered over to him, still unsteady on her feet. She grabbed his sticky hands, fighting the urge to pull him into a hug.

"You are incorrigible," she shouted at him, annoyance and amusement in her voice. Ian laughed, knowing that she wasn't seriously angry like she was when he got into fistfights.

"And covered in cake," he replied, letting go of her hands and wiping cake frosting on his shirt.

"I would be mad if that wasn't so funny," Erin playfully scolded, trying not to smear the frosting covering her hands on her skirt.

"You couldn't stay mad at me even if I wasn't covered in cake," said Ian, grabbing her hands again and pulling her towards him so their bodies almost touched. "Speaking of which, I'm gonna head upstairs and clean this shit off me. I'll be back down soon."

"Okay," Erin replied, nodding. Ian kissed her before disappearing.

Erin licked the transferred frosting off her lips before joining Miranda back down on the couch, who could barely hold up her head and had somehow gained a bottle of red alcopop.

"Jesus Rand," Exclaimed Erin once she saw the state of her. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough," slurred Miranda, holding the bottle up to her mouth and missing slightly, sending the red liquid sloshing down the front of her shirt. Erin had seen Miranda drunk before, but never this drunk. She'd been on a mission as soon as they arrived, and now she could barely support herself. She needed to stop drinking.

"Give me that," said Erin before snatching the bottle from Miranda's hand. It wasn't difficult since her reflexes were so suppressed.

"No," whined Miranda, feebly attempting to grab the bottle back from Erin. "I want it." Erin stood up so the bottle was out of Miranda's reach and then downed its contents, stepping further away from the couch as Miranda tried to get up. It was a pleasant drink. Sweet, so sweet it might as well have been soda.

"Well now you can't have it," stated Erin, holding the empty bottle up in front of Miranda.

"That was a full bottle," she shouted in protest. Erin burped, the fizz from the drink leaving pressure in her stomach.

"That was kinda nice," said Erin, sitting back down next to Miranda. She didn't feel any different, like she'd expected to after her first drink, but her limbs felt warmer. Miranda's head dropped onto her shoulder.

"Told you that you were missing out," she slurred, her eyes barely open. Erin pushed her off her.

"I'm going to get you some water," she stated, before getting up off the couch and heading to the kitchen. "Stay there." She felt a slight rush in her head as she moved, like she was walking in slow motion, but she snapped herself out of it and poured Miranda a glass of water.

By the time Erin got back with the water, Miranda was gone. She managed to track her down to the back room where some guys were making a pyramid out of beer cans, tucked away in the corner with her own can of beer.

"Rand!" Erin shouted in exasperation as she crouched down beside her, almost falling over on her heels again. Erin snatched the can of beer, the motion sending her backwards so she was sat on the floor too. She started drinking as much of the beer as she could, grimacing at the bitter taste.

"Hey, that's mine," Miranda whined, watching as Erin downed as much of the can as she could before having to stop, both the taste and the fizz becoming too much for her.

"You need to slow down," ordered Erin, grimacing as she tried not to burp the beer back up. She set the can down at her side, the opposite side to where Miranda was leaning.

"Why should I?" Miranda replied, the juvenile whine to her voice replaced by apathetic detachment. Erin looked at her smudged make up, noting the water brimming in her glassy eyes. "My life is going to shit and I just want to forget about it for one fucking night."

"Hey, Rand," Erin responded, much softer now. She placed her hand on Miranda's leg, tears almost brimming in her eyes. "It's okay."

"No it's not," cried Miranda, tears now running down her face. Erin pulled Miranda closer, letting her cry into her shoulder. Miranda was losing her mother again, and about to move away from everything she'd ever known, of course she wanted to pretend it wasn't happening for a little while.

Erin let Miranda cry and scream, the sound of her anger being swallowed by the music blasting through the house. She tried to get Miranda to sip the water, only sometimes succeeding. The drinks pyramid toppled over and a bottle rolled into Miranda's leg. Miranda opened the bottle and began chugging from it, the clear liquid flowing from the corners of her mouth.

"Rand!" shouted Erin, snatching the bottle from her and swigging it herself. The taste of cherry coated her tongue, so she tried to chug it down like she had with the first drink she stole. She stopped when the burning in her throat became too strong to handle anymore, swallowing harshly and coughing.

"Holy shit, that burns," she gasped, still spluttering. She glanced down at the label on the bottle, grimacing when she saw she'd been drinking straight vodka.

"Give me," Miranda demanded with the authority of a sulking child.

"You aren't getting it back until you drink some water," Erin argued, holding up the cup of water.

"Fine," huffed Miranda, taking the cup from her and taking a long drink. Erin then relented and gave Miranda the vodka bottle, while she washed the taste from her mouth with the beer and immediately regretted it.

They passed the water and vodka between each other, watching whatever else was going on in the room and laughing. The weirdest things seemed funny to Erin, but she was managing to get Miranda to laugh, so she didn't mind much. She didn't feel very drunk. Her head spun in a way that it never had before, her thoughts seemed lazy and she felt much happier, but that was about it. Eventually when Ian found them, her concern for Miranda had lifted completely.

"There you are," Ian said loudly when he found them sat on the floor, concern heavy in his voice. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh my god," Erin squealed excitedly as soon as she saw him, overcome with the urge to get up and hug him so tightly that she forgot they were separate people. "hi."

"Jesus fucking Christ Rand," Ian shouted at Miranda. "She's drunk."

"So am I," She slurred in response, nowhere near as bothered as Ian was.

"I need to start walking her home in like five minutes," he continued to yell, almost furious. "Her parents can't see her like this."

"I'm fine," Erin shouted, drawing her words out as her head fell back, laughter on the tip of her tongue. "Don't worry."

"Stand up," Ian instructed, unamused.

"But my shoes," Erin replied, laughing as she looked down at the heels.

"I'll help you," he said, grabbing her hands as she staggered to her feet.

"See," said Ian as Erin slung her arm around his shoulders, suddenly dizzy. "You're drunk."

"I missed you," she mumbled against the side of his face, trying to hug him but struggling to remain upright.

"I was only gone thirty minutes," he replied, looking softly at her as he smiled, now less angry over her drunken state.

"Your shirt it wet," Erin slurred, gripping the damp fabric.

"I know," said Ian. "I had to wash my hair." Ian then found the blue haired girl from earlier and asked her to look after Miranda while he walked Erin home.

During the walk he asked her how and why she got this drunk, so she explained that she was trying to stop Miranda from getting any worse, which made his anger over the situation lessen, towards Erin at least. The walk was slow, between Erin's shoes and her inability to walk in a straight line, it was taking much longer than expected.

Erin eventually took the shoes off and walked barefoot, Ian carrying them in one hand while supporting her with the other. They made it onto Erin's drive with two minutes to spare, according to Ian's watch, and he leaned her against the wall of the house as he helped her find her keys.

"Can you at least try and seem sober," he said as Erin dropped the keys. "I don't want your parents to hate me."

"They won't," she slurred, gripping the keys properly as Ian gave her them. "I'll make sure of it. Even if they hate me, I'll make sure they don't hate you because of this." Ian smiled warmly, squeezing her hand before ushering her towards the front door.

"Right," he said. "Let's get you inside so you can face their wrath." Erin moved her lips in preparation for a kiss, but Ian hugged her instead.

"No kiss?" she whined.

"Tomorrow," he said, which made her stop pouting. "If you aren't grounded, that is." Erin laughed.

"Good." she tried to put her key in the front door and failed. Ian took over and got it in. "Now go before you get in trouble."

With that Ian left her to unlock her front door and stumble inside, watching from the darkness of the driveway. Erin knew hear parents would be waiting for her somewhere, and that she was going to be in a world of trouble, but after everything that had happened tonight, she couldn't bring herself to care.


	30. Chapter 30

Erin woke the next morning with an awful headache. Her stomach felt like lead and her body shivered every time she tried to move. Eventually, the need for a drink of water forced her out of bed, each step making her feel more and more nauseas and the pounding in her head worsen. She tried to remember as much as she could about last night, but everything after the cake fight was somewhat fuzzy. She remembered the taste of cherries, which now churned her stomach just thinking about it, and a cold walk with no shoes. An examination of the tights on the floor at the side of her bed confirmed this, as both feet of the tights were now shredded with holes.

Erin slowly finished her glass of water before pulling on her bathrobe and making her way downstairs. She wasn't sure what to expect, as she knew she was in a huge amount of trouble for getting drunk, but she knew that she didn't have the patience for any of it right now. She found the shoes she'd worn last night strewn across the welcome mat, her feet aching as she took each step, courtesy of wearing them all night.

There was nobody in the dining room or the kitchen, but Erin found two aspirin and a note from her dad that he'd made a smoothie for her that always used to cure his hangovers. She found the mixture in the blender and poured it, smiling at her father's considerate gesture. She knew she'd be lucky to get a nod of acknowledgement from her mother.

"How are you feeling honey?" asked her dad as he walked into the dining room.

"Rough," she groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

"Last night wasn't like you," her dad said as he sat down next to her, not angry, but definitely not impressed by the state she'd come home in.

"I know," Erin sighed. "But I was trying to stop a friend putting herself in a dangerous position." She took a sip of the smoothie. "I drank it so she wouldn't." Her father gave her a weak smile.

"You see," he said. "That sounds more like my daughter." The tender moment was interrupted by Erin's mother screeching from another room.

"Richard!" she yelled. "Richard is she up?"

"Yeah," he called back. "In here."

"Shit," Erin muttered under her breath, which her dad tactfully ignored as her mother entered the room.

"Right young lady," Her mother spat as she stopped in front of the dining room table. "We need to talk." Erin met her mother's gaze, hoping that something heavy would fall on the house and crush them all.

"Look," her mother began. "I know that you obviously don't give a damn that your father and I are trying to do what's best for you, but you have never." She paused, pursing her lips as she pointed her finger more sternly towards Erin. "Never," she repeated, louder this time. "Disregarded my rules so blatantly before."

What followed was a rant about how ungrateful Erin was for all her mother did for her, which she was so used to that she just tuned it out, but then her mother went on to paint last night as a deliberate defiance, making out like she'd left the house looking to get drunk. This Erin couldn't ignore as it was blatant lies. She argued back, knowing that her mother had already made up her mind about what supposedly happened last night and probably wouldn't be dissuaded.

"That's not what happened!" Erin shouted, angered by the false picture her mother was painting.

"Of course it was," her mother yelled back, now furiously red in the face. "I wasn't born yesterday. You and those delinquent friends of yours have set out to undermine me the moment you met them."

Erin's anger rose into a fury. Calling Ian and Miranda delinquents was laughable. They weren't out stealing cars or vandalising property, or bullying others like the so called 'normal All American' kids were. They were an introverted book nerd and a girl who loved fantasy worlds because her own life was miserable. Sure, they were frosty and looked intimidating, but only because life had been so unkind to them at such an early age. They looked after her like nobody else did, and were so much more complex than her small minded, judgemental mother could ever comprehend.

"They didn't make me drink," Erin argued. "In fact, Ian was furious when he saw I was drunk, but took me home anyway, because he'd promised to look after me." Erin's throat hurt with the force of her shouting, so angry that she was on the verge of tears. _Ian._ She froze._ The kiss. His birthday. Today is his birthday._

"Well he didn't do a very good job if you managed to get drunk on his watch," her mother spat back, scoffing like the idea of him being responsible was hilarious, despite the fact Erin had never known him be anything but. _Oh god, _she thought._ She's going to kill me when she realizes that he's more than just a friend now._

"It wasn't his fault some asshole dumped half a sheet cake on him and he had to go clean up," Erin argued, the anger turning the tone of her voice spiteful. "He left me for thirty minutes tops, and was livid when he saw I'd gotten drunk in that time. This really wasn't anything to do with him. You should probably thank him for getting me home safely."

"And didn't you raise me to help others in need," Erin continued, fighting the urge to point out the hypocrisy in this since her mother was the most selfish bitch she'd ever met, but Erin was trying to come out of this with as little grounding as possible. "I only drank to stop Miranda getting in a worse state than she already was. It wasn't even that much, and I only did it to help someone else."

"Miranda," sighed her mother. "I knew that no good tramp was behind this."

"She didn't force it down my neck," shouted Erin. "She'd have been happy to drink it herself and put herself in the hospital."

"Well maybe she should have," her mother replied, venomous contempt dripping from each word.

"Karen, that's enough," Erin's father shouted, disgusted by her comment. "That's a child you're talking about."

"One that's never stepping foot in this house ever again," declared Erin's mother. "As for you, you're grounded for two months. Effective immediately." Erin's chest sank.

"But I have plans today," she argued.

"You should have thought about that before disobeying my orders," her mother responded dismissively. Erin felt herself start to panic, her chest tightening and heart beating faster. She couldn't not see Ian today, she couldn't.

"But its Ian's birthday," she stated, hoping his assistance in getting her home would be enough to win them round. "You shouldn't punish him for this. Just let me start the grounding tomorrow."

"Do you think you're in a position to bargain with me?" Erin's mother questioned, eyebrows raised furiously.

"Maybe she's right Karen," Erin's dad interjected.

"Excuse me," her mother said incredulously, turning her attention away from Erin to her father.

"She didn't say she doesn't respect the grounding, just that she wants to see her friend on his birthday before it happens," he explained, keeping his voice calm and measured. "And he did bring her back here safely, and before curfew like he promised."

"He's a really good guy," added Erin quietly. She refused to sit and let her mother believe lies about Ian. "If you bothered to get to know him at all you'd see that."

"If I let you out," Her mother began to ask, her eyes narrowed in scrutiny. "Will _she _be there?"

"No," Erin answered immediately, knowing exactly who _she_ was. "She's working today." Erin caught her breath, which was still tight in her throat. "And I was hoping she wouldn't be there. I'm kinda mad at her for getting stupid drunk last night, and I was hoping to spend time with Ian without her, so you wouldn't need to worry about Miranda being there."

"Why so desperate to spend time without her?" her mother questioned, a mocking tone to her voice. "You two were clearly close last night." Erin swallowed. She knew that she needed to bite the bullet and tell her parents everything if she had any hope of winning this one concession.

"Because my friendship with Ian is a little more than that now," she confessed. Closing her eyes to avoid seeing her mother's face.

"Oh no it isn't," she replied. "You're grounded."

"That decision was made before I got drunk last night, so I don't think it counts," Erin retorted, mentally reprimanding herself for being so sarcastic when she was trying to get on her mother's good side. "And I really like him." Before Erin's mom could react, the landline started to ring.

"I'll get it," said Erin, darting up out of her seat and moving over to the phone with the highest amount of energy she'd managed all day.

"Erin, its Ian," the voice at the other end of the line announced. The sound of his voice immediately made Erin smile.

"Richard, don't let her answer it!"

"Hello," she replied, her voice warm from smiling.

"How's the head this morning?"

"Bad," Erin answered. "How are you?"

"Pretty sure I still smell like vanilla frosting," Ian replied, which made Erin chuckle. "And currently waiting for my mom to get back home."

"So you've not tried to hunt down your birthday presents then?"

"Well I know one of them is Kel's old van sat in the garage," Ian explained, while Erin tried to move as far away from her approaching parents as the phone cord would let her. "So that makes the hunt a little easier, but I figured I'd just wait for her to get back home."

"Happy birthday," she said.

"Thank you," he replied. "Although I was kinda hoping you'd be able to say it to me in person. Grounded?"

"Majorly," Erin confirmed, glancing hopefully at her parents. "But I'm hoping they'll let me start tomorrow."

"Those are some tough odds," said Ian.

"I know," Erin replied. "But my dad's fighting my corner, and I've already told them not to punish you for my mistakes."

"Do they know about everything that happened at that party last night?" asked Ian, meaning did her parents know about them.

"Kind of," admitted Erin. "I did tell them about us."

"And how are they taking it?"

"Discussing it now as we speak," she answered, noting that her parents had stopped trying to confiscate the phone from her, and were now having a conversation of their own.

"I really want to see you," Ian admitted, which warmed Erin's chest and made her anxiety ease.

"Me too," she replied, smiling at the thought of his being as desperate to see her as she was him. "Maybe you could just turn up and rescue me."

"And have your mom hate me even more?" he questioned, which made Erin laugh slightly, despite it being a very real threat. "When I'm trying to date you, no thanks."

"Erin, give us the phone," Her mother's voice interrupted, which made her regret laughing at Ian's joke.

"But," she stammered.

"It's okay Erin," Her dad said before she could argue any more. "Do as she says."

Erin listened, anxiety flooding her aching body as her mother spoke to Ian over the phone. From what she could gather, he was recounting his version of events to her, and being grilled about his feelings for Erin. Erin's mother reluctantly agreed to allow him over at the house so they could talk to him about last night and his budding relationship with Erin. His mom would be bringing him at 1pm, and staying during the whole conversation. Erin sighed with relief. It was a better result that she'd been expecting, and she still got to see Ian on his birthday.

In preparation for Ian's arrival, Erin went and got herself ready. She showered, put on some clean clothes and ate some plain slices of toast, still feeling nauseas from the hangover. She got his birthday presents from her room, and had them ready with her when Ian and his mom arrived at 1pm sharp.

Her mom welcomed them in, plastering her fake smile and her fake voice like she hadn't been screaming for hours this morning. She'd already began to make out like she was such a saint for even allowing Ian to come to the house given the circumstances, enjoying watching Erin be grateful for the scraps she was thrown. _Do you see how forgiving we are (_I am) _for even considering suspending your grounding for a day, perhaps it will remind you to be less ungrateful in the future. _ Her words made Erin feel sick. She wanted Erin to fret over the fact they hadn't actually agreed yet, to watch her persuade them through sycophantic subservience. It was a disgusting power trip, because she knew dangling the one scrap of freedom Erin had asked for and have her degrade herself to fight for it was worse than grounding her outright.

All of them moved into the living room, going over the events of last night yet again, before moving on to the topic of Ian and Erin's relationship. Her mother and Connie did most of the talking, Connie's testimony to how responsible and decent her son was appeared to slowly be winning over her parents. Erin's father also thanked Ian for looking after Erin as best he could during the party and for getting her home safely. They managed to come to an agreement that Erin's grounding was to be enforced from tomorrow, and Ian and Erin were allowed to spend two supervised hours together with Connie.

Connie drove them to one of McKinley's parks, citing the fresh air as being good for Erin. When they arrived though, Connie didn't get out of the car, which left Erin confused. She admitted that she was going to let them have some time alone rather than watching them constantly, which made Erin's crappy morning infinitely better.

"Have I ever told you that I love your mom," Erin shouted over the top of Connie's car once she got out.

"Many times," Ian replied, leaning against the other side of the car as he waited for Erin to walk around it.

She met him at the passenger's side door, slipping her hand into his as they walked away from the car and out of the parking lot. They walked around the park hand in hand chatting about the rest of the party and how Erin's morning had been. There was a small vendor selling hotdogs, and Ian bought Erin one to make sure that she ate. They sat down on a bench while she finished off the hotdog, looking out over the small lake in front of them.

"As first dates go, this isn't what I pictured," said Ian, breaking a short period of silence. Erin smiled.

"But it's kind of perfect," she countered, looking out at the kids feeding ducks at the edge of the lake. "Considering how messy the rest of today has been."

"I guess you're right," Ian replied. "It's perfect in its imperfection. You're hung-over, and we're making the most of what little time we have before you're grounded."

"It sucks that we'll have to wait a whole two months before we can do this again," Erin sighed, resting her head on Ian's shoulder.

"Yeah," Ian agreed. "But I'll still sneak over to your place after school."Erin smiled.

"I know," she said, smirking at the deviousness as she buried her face into his coat. "But it's not the same."

"I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to make up two months of missed dates," Ian reminded her.

"I guess you're right," she said, sitting back upright. "It's not like you're going anywhere."

"I'm not," he replied, leaning in to kiss her.

"Do you regret waiting as long as you did?" asked Erin once she slipped back down to rest her head on Ian's shoulder.

"Not at all," he answered. "I think the timing was just right."

"You sure?" questioned Erin, shifting back up to give him a suspicious look. Last night had been overwhelmingly a disaster, and now she was going to be grounded for the first two months of their relationship. Surely asking her out sooner would have been better.

"Absolutely," he answered, smiling, evidently amused by her confused reaction. "Now come here, I don't want to waste what little time I have left with you discussing your grounding." Erin smiled, shaking her head slightly before allowing him to pull her in for a kiss.


End file.
